MAY 2012
May Goddess Horoscopes
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ATHENA - the Smart One Who Never Got The Guys Until She Got Contacts (March 21-April 19) You have a knack for investing. Not like in Microsoft or Facebook, no, your skill is time investing. You know just exactly how much time to put into waiting for the lady with her two screaming children to put her groceries in the trunk and leave so you can get her parking space. You won't put more than 45 seconds into waiting for a saleslady to stop texting and notice you. You invested one week exactly and no more on email exchanges with that moron on match.com who couldn't seem to commit to a date. And you got a huge return on your investment when you sat and listened to your girlfriend tell you all about her break-up and then you got that extra ticket to see Bruce Springsteen. One big loss was an investment in that idiotic video on You Tube, but they can't all be winners.
By Debra Victoroff
May Bride Dish With Mags and Dags
DEAR MAGS/DAGS: I am going through a painful divorce. I also have the misfortune of being deemed Maid of Honor at my sorority sister Savannah's wedding just south of Geneva (I know what you're thinking, Savannah south of Geneva, how's that for confusing? Too much for this Georgia peach!)
Thing is, I'm not really in party mode lately. I'm so sad that little things make me cry, commercials for feminine hygiene products on television, the way my pinscher Poopsie looks when I come home after a long day. How am I going to party like its 1987 when all I feel like doing is curling up with a pint of Strawberry Surprise?
Georgia Peach is Feeling Creamed
By Christina Delia
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Travel Tips from Author Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
We were thrilled to have New York Times best-selling author Nicole “Snooki”
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Polizzi here as she takes up very little space. This busy scribe is the author of “Shore Thing”, “Confessions of a Guidette” and “Gorilla Beach” and she stopped into HWHQ for a decaf iced latte, four crullers, a juicebox and half a Quiznos sub. She was happy to share her fave travel tips with you, our very fortunate and dear readers!
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May 19 I invited Julie and Christine over and we had a lousy time. I was looking forward to showing them the new paint job and talking about Simon but it's the first time that Julie's been cut loose from her kid so she called home every four seconds to make sure it didn't choke on its own vomit or strangle itself on an electrical cord. Christine was very excited because she and Paul are going to Belize so we had to hear all about it.
My place was looking so hip but it was wasted on them. Julie came in and the first thing she did was turn a lamp on because she couldn't see. I'd arranged some cool pillows on the floor so that we could lounge, but of course both of them headed straight for the couch which made it look sloppy.
By Sharon Grehan-Howes
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LAST ISSUE:
How to Build Your Own Aircraft!
Are you spending too much time playing carpool mom, hauling your ingrate kids and all their bratty friends around town in a cramped 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan while rich Mrs. Ubenbooben earns accolades from your children when it’s her turn to drive because she chauffeurs them in style in her Land Rover, complete with reclining rear seats and two DVD players? With this weekend project, you can assuage your mom-guilt and show that Mrs. Ubenbooben a thing or two about carpooling in style even if you can’t afford a maid like she can, or even liposuction.
What you’ll need:
- Apron
- Dirty laundry
- Laundry detergent
By Savannah Lawless
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Seven Ways to Shake Up Your Workouts
If you’re like many women, then you are probably pretty good about hitting the gym
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on a regular basis. You do your cardio, you lift your weights, you do those modified leg lifts that make you look like a dog whizzing on a fire hydrant. And yet, you aren’t seeing much of a change in your body, even though you swear you’ve been laying off the Doritos and the beer pong. In all likelihood, you are in an exercise rut. Studies have shown that in order to get the most bang for your buck at the gym, you need to change up your workout every couple of weeks. Here are some suggestions:
By Melissa Larson
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Are Relationship Quizzes Ruining Your Relationships?
If you and your man have taken dozens of relationship quizzes in a desperate quest to find out what’s missing from your life together, you need to take this quiz!
According to a recent study by the Institute of Recent Studies, 96 percent of women in heterosexual relationships have a boyfriend, lover or husband (or all three) who hates taking quizzes—and their relationships may be in danger. Are you one of them? Find out now!
Make yourself a nice cup of antioxidant acai chai green tea with hibiscus and answer the questions below. No cheating!
By Jeanne Bellezzo
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Other HW Quizzes
