DIY
Human Cloning
Designer Genes!
By Sharon Grehan-Howes
If you're tired of giving your children up for adoption just because of their looks, this do-it-yourself project is just the ticket!
What to do first.
- Ovulate
- Scout out shopping malls and gyms for very good looking people. (This is usually where they congregate).
- When you see the perfect specimen go up very close and scratch them. The arm is good but the inside of the mouth is perfect--it's just harder to do without them noticing.
- Preserve the tissue under your fingernails.
- Remove your unfertilized egg and remove all genetic material. Tip: It is best to do this at home and not at the mall. (You may also need a magnifying glass and a lab.)
- Remove the nucleus from the goodlooking donor's cell and place it next to the egg.
- Force a tiny spark of electricity across the two by scuffing your feet repeatedly on a nylon carpet. The two cells will then fuse.
- Once the fertilized egg grows to 50 to 100 cells, implant the embryo in a woman's womb. (You, or perhaps your housekeeper, but it is just plain courteous to tell them in advance).
The egg thinks it's been fertilized and gets a full set of genes, it divides and becomes an identical twin!!
Voila!!!!
Note:
There has been some concern that when cloning, the chromosomes could match the age of the donor. for example a 10 year old would look like a 20 year old and a 20 year old would look like a 40 year old, as a result, the potential for cancer and heart disease increases will increase.
If that does happen, it's probably best just to use the bundle of joy for spare parts.
Wasn't that fun?
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