Make Your Own Perfume!
By Elizabeth Hanes 
Have
you ever wished you could afford expensive designer perfumes?
Or have you ever wished you had a "signature scent" - a perfume
unique to you, and you alone? Well now you can! Follow these
simple instructions to make your very own, unique perfume
or cologne.
You'll need:
- The musk gland from a civet cat OR
- The musk gland from a skunk OR
- Some liquefied limburger cheese that's been left in the sun for 8 days
- A bushel of fresh flower blossoms, like orange or apple blossoms, orchids, roses, lilies, or whatever your favorite scent
- Pine needles
- Wormwood oil OR canola oil
- 2 cups Purified water
- 1 bottle rubbing alcohol
If civet cats aren't native to your area, cruise around the countryside looking for a dead skunk on the side of the road. Using a pocketknife, carefully remove the musk gland and place it in a plastic bag. If you don't live near the countryside, go the limburger cheese route.
Crush the flower blossoms as finely as possible with a mortar and pestle. Alternatively, place them in your food processor and pulse until finely minced. Do the same with the pine needles.
Now comes the experimentation. Combine a tiny amount of the musk (or cheese) with a small amount of the flowers, pine needles, and wormwood oil. Tinker with the proportions until you have a scent you can live with. Mix up a big batch, add purified water and let it stand for several weeks, tightly covered in a warm place.
Six weeks later, drink the rubbing alcohol. Remove lid from the perfume concoction, then carry the foul-smelling mess outside and pour it sparingly along your property lines to keep the neighborhood dogs from coming onto your property and soiling it. Drive to a perfumery and purchase a custom-mixed scent. Voila!
