EST. May 2000 (AD)


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Repair Your own Transmission and make 3 1/2 dozen Maple Butter Cookies

By Sharon Grehan-Howes


Remove the torque converter. It 's the thing that looks rather like the back of an alarm clock only bigger.

So that the old transmission fluid can drain out, put the torque converter upside down on top of a bucket. Make sure the bucket is smaller than than the torque converter or it will repeatedly fall in.

Disassemble the transmission try to remember where everything goes. We find jolly songs are great memory triggers. Songs like "the hip bone's connected to the knee-bone" but since a transmission does not have a hip bone you will probably have to change the lyrics.

Remove all the old gaskets and seals, and throw them in the dishwasher.

You will need a very clean area to reassemble the transmission. Depending on what kind of housekeeper you are, the living room or the kitchen floor usually good bets.

Take a peek and if you spot any, worn or damaged parts reinforce them with glue or replace them with tape.

You will have to replace all of the bushings in the transmission. You will need a special tool but a toothbrush might come in handy. (Be careful to rinse it thoroughly before you use it again!)

Reassemble the transmission. You will be glad you took the time to write that song.

Lubricate all the new seals.

Coat all friction materials with new clean automatic transmission fluid before you assemble.

Use a torque wrench and tighten all hardware to the manufacturers specifications and if you don't have the specs do your best.

Recalibrate the valve body for the type of application you need if you don't know what that means go onto the next step.

Install the modified valve body to the transmission.

Find the transmission's input shaft and place the torque converter which has been filled with automatic transmission fluid. There are a few sets of thingamajigs that have to engage so you may find rotating the converter helps.

Flush-out the transmission oil-cooler lines.

Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 3 mm (1/8 inch) thickness. ( You may want to wash your hands) Cut into desired shapes using holiday cookie cutters. Place on lightly greased cookie sheets. Sprinkle with decorator sugars, or press almonds into center of cookies. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes.

Install the transmission and add automatic transmission fluid, start the engine and take it for a test drive. Be sure to remove the jack(s) first.

If anything falls out or the car won't go, push it over a cliff or embankment. (Only do this if you are insured).

Take the cookies out of the oven, allow them to cool and voila!!!! That's all there is to it!

Thanks to Gerard Rainier for the Transmission how to's!