Are You Boring?

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

The warning signs:

You think "how are you doing?" means "how are you doing?"

When someone else speaks during a conversation it ruins your concentration.

You bought stamps Tuesday. You find this interesting.

When you are telling a story you find interruptions along the lines of "you all ready told me this" rude but continue on anyway.

You just know everyone on your email list is breathlessly awaiting the next issue of your newsletter "What Timmy Said Today."

You feel if a sentence doesn't start with "I" it isn't worth continuing.

After seeing a movie with a friend, you tell them about the movie from beginning to end on the way home.

You find a flat even tone the best one for relaying information.

You end every party with your wedding video.

The bus driver knows all about your divorce six years ago.

If you lose your train of thought you find "ummmmm." or "uhhhhhhhh" valuable placeholders to keep you from losing the floor.

In your mind, listening is a process where you scan phrases for segues.

You feel high school chess club stories have to be told again and again and again. They never lose their richness.

You are completely incapable of hearing anything after you say the phrase "Well, if you want my advice..."

You find other people very boring.