Is
He Cheating?
Happy Woman gives you the top ten signs.
By Sharon Grehan-Howes
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1. Does
he often have to go away on business even though he's a mailman?
2.
Does he says things like "I want a divorce?"
3. Has
he replaced all his boxers with thongs?
4. Does
he limit sleeping with you to special occasions like the solar eclipse?
5. Do
you find it odd that he's been spending thousands of dollars on flowers, jewellry
and motels for his mother?
6. Does
he keep an apartment 'in town' even though you live two blocks from the city
center?
7. Do
you find it odd that his office does not accept incoming calls?
8. When
you have a minor argument does he say "are you asking me to
leave?" in a hopeful manner?
9. Does
he disappear for days explaining upon return that he got lost?
10. Have
you ever found his wedding band in strange places like the garbage?
11. Do
you find it peculiar that he doesn't know the number to his cell phone?
12. Do
you ever find brassieres in the glove box?
13. Does
he spend more time in the bathroom than your teenage daughter?
14. Does
he whisper when he's talking on the phone? When quizzed does he tell you that
he's involved in official government work and that if he told you anything
he'd have to kill you?
If you answered
yes to three or more questions, there is a good chance your spouse is
cheating on you.
Your best course
of action is to get a facial, a full body wax, lose 10 pounds and become a
better person.
If these things
don't work, try begging and pleading. Tell him you are nothing without him,
he'll probably agree and stay with you.
If all else fails,
hire a private investigator to track down his new amour. Find a way to get
to know her and then become as much like her as possible and lose 20 pounds.
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