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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Foot Binding For Health And Beauty!


The Health Concern

We've spent all this time on perfect abs and killer pecs and totally ignored ugly feet.

Francoise Sievez, an expert in spotting trends says "Basically, if you wear any size over 5 your feet are too big. The ideal foot size is between 3" - 3 1/2". It is a long neglected area.

"This is ridiculous" says Dr. Jeanine Garvery "You can't seriously think women would risk their health to look good in shoes."

"But there are health concerns" argues Sievez, "99.8% of all adults who suffered from Diabetes and heart disease have feet over 3 1/2 inches long.

"It isn't just a beauty thing, we are concerned with health. The fact that this is a new untapped beauty market is purely coincidental."

The advent of convenience shoes such as flip-flops and slip-ons have given way to what this new industry calls "tread spread". A trend that is bound to continue. An alarming study showed most schoolchildren's feet were well over 4"--and still growing. The study also showed children with larger feet will be more likely to be teased and have a poor foot image once the new 3 1/2 inch shoes have caught on.

Already scores of foot shrinking businesses have shot up all over the US and in Europe, lithe models have been wheeled down the runway wearing this fall's latest shoes.

"Be careful" cautions Sievez. "There is no quick fix no miracle pill that will reduce feet overnight. It requires work and lack of exercise".

Still charlatans will offer herbs and elixirs that raise hopes but do virtually nothing. "It took a long time for feet to grow we cannot expect them to shrink overnight"says Sievez. "The only proven method so far is the one created by our company."

The craze has caught on so far, women have been buying hammers in unprecedented numbers.But if done incorrectly, the feet will heal and grow back bigger and uglier than before.

"I don't know how to respond" says Dr. Jeannine Garvey. "It is inconceivable to me that women would risk their health and spend millions of dollars for a fashion ideal. It is incomprehensible.

Sievez responds to Dr. Garvery with " If doctors had their way, no one would look fashionable."

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved