HAPPY WOMAN MAGAZINE - A PARODY OF WOMEN'S MAGAZINES

Your Grout Could Be Killing You!

The latest home hazard.

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

<<PREVIOUS

Renowned activist Renee Heller: "When I found out these results I was appalled. I'm home-schooling my children because their classroom was toxic and now this? I've forbidden apples because of Alar we threw out our cell phone and electric blankets because of EMF's got rid of our aluminum cookware while we are still able to remember to do so. How do we keep our children safe?"

Heller has started an Azure Ribbon Campaign to put an end to the madness.

A spokesman for the Public Safety Commission, Jeffery Davison, was questioned about this alarming report.

"Yes it is true that epoxy resin can release hazardous fumes but you would have to burn it, and I don't really understand why someone would do that. You would only experience eye and skin irritation after repeated exposure to uncured epoxy and improperly treated cement grout can harbour bacteria, but you would have to actually ingest large quantities of it for it to present a significant risk."

That is where women are most at risk states activist Heller. "Women are more inquisitive, so they are more likely to eat grout than men are."

What You Can Do:
Avoid setting your ceramic tiles on fire.
Try not to work with uncured grout every day.
Refrain from scraping the dirt off the grout with your fingernail and resist the urge to taste it.
Wash the grout with a bleach mixture (one cap bleach to one gallon water.)

Renee Heller "I've removed all grout from my home. It has been a sacrifice because the tiles don't stay up as well without it, but I'll do anything for my family."

Donations to help families that will eventually suffer from this hazard, can be made to the Society of Citizens Against Risky Epoxy (S.C.A.R.E.).

Please Note: This is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet. The interviews are not real and the interviewers are not real.

Complete list of articles past and present.