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Happy Woman's Guide to Frugal Living

By Lucretia Centesimo

With tax season breathing hotly down our necks, it's a good time to review smart money management principles. After all, a happy woman is a wealthy woman, and even the average girl can amass a fortune with some simple money-saving ideas and practices.

First, learn to save money from your regular household budget.

• Fire your live-in personal chef and start eating out at every meal. Projected savings: $14,000 a year.
  
  
• Reduce ATM fees by simply withdrawing all the cash from your husband's checking account once a month. Projected savings: $400 a month.
  
  
• Downgrade from the "Endowed Member" level of Fine Arts Center membership to the "Sustaining Member" level. Projected savings: $5,000 a year.
  
  
• Sell your theatre season tickets for the shows you don't want to attend, like that tiresome "Pirates of Penzance" they insist on staging every year. Projected savings: $545 per season.
  
  
• Eliminate expensive dental bills by pulling all your teeth out and getting fitted for dentures. Projected savings: $3,800 over your lifetime.
  
  
• Have your cars professionally detailed only once a month, instead of once a week. Projected savings: $1,500 a month.
  
  
• Eliminate the custom scenting feature from your dog grooming service. Projected savings: $48 a month.
  
  
• Stop dry cleaning your clothes! A far better strategy is to wear your dry-cleanables once, donate them to charity, deduct the value from your taxes, and buy new clothes. Projected savings: varies, depending on your clothing budget, but at least $10,000 per year.
  
  
• Take up chinchilla ranching and make your own furs. Not only money-saving, but a fun hobby! Projected savings: $6,500 a year.
  
  
• Negotiate with your vendors to add value to their services without increasing your cost, thereby getting you more "bang for the buck." For example, inform your pool boy, Garibaldi, that he'll need to service you, or rather the pool, twice as often if he wishes to maintain his staff position.

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