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2,984 Couples Reveal the Secrets of Lasting Relationships

By Elizabeth Hanes

In our unceasing quest to bring you the news you need to live your life in a more fulfilling, Oprah-like manner, we recently polled nearly three thousand North American couples to find out what makes relationships work. OK, maybe "polled" is too strong a word. Actually, a group of us sat around the office late at night, sipping vodka gimlets and randomly dialing telephone numbers. But the results were astounding! Take a look.

  • 99% of men said "mediocre or better" sex, or having sex at least 8 times a week (regardless of quality), was the key factor that kept them committed to a woman. (1% of the respondents did not speak English or French and, hence, could not understand the question.)

  • 55% of women said "signing a prenuptial agreement" was the most important factor in maintaining a committed relationship

    78% of married women cited "having my feelings and opinions heard and considered" by their mate as the most important factor in a relationship

  • 86% of married men said "pretending to listen and care about her feelings" was the most important factor in getting sex from their mate

  • 43% of men felt having their wife or girlfriend "dress up as Anne Robinson" for sex would help keep them satisfied

  • 89% of women claimed not to know who Anne Robinson is and sobbed over why their husband or boyfriend had to fantasize about someone besides them

  • 94% of men felt a woman's "inability to control her emotions" made them want to "pull back" from a relationship

  • 97% of women felt "all men are too immature to have a fulfilling relationship"

  • 72% of men said "that's it, I'm going to the bar, and now I suppose you'll be calling your mother"

  • 99% of women then "called their mothers"

  • 96% of men stayed overnight with "friends"

  • 93% of women threw their mate's belongings "out on the front lawn for him to come and get"

  • 67% of men's buddies urged their friend to "reconsider leaving the cash cow"

  • 98% of women were willing to make the first "conciliatory phone call"

  • 92% of men moved back in, promising "never to leave the toilet seat up"

  • 100% of women agreed the "toilet seat issue" was the most difficult aspect to negotiate in a relationship

We hope you're able to put these statistics to good use in your relationship. Remember, numbers never lie, and nothing's more normal than average.


     

 

See you in September! The talented and ever so stylish HW staff are taking a break and will return in the fall. We may feel generous and hold a contest now and again so be sure to sign up for our newsletter or follow us on


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