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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Religion: Supermodel's Top Picks!

"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal." The Dalai Lama

The fashion houses have spoken. Pink is in, as are kicky purses, but what's the buzz in the houses of the holy? We have chosen six of today's hottest supermodels to find out what's setting the holy circles ablaze!

Anna Moizen is originally from Athens, Georgia. She is 6' even and weighs 98 pounds. She is renowned for her saucy stroll and for having the most versatile nose.

"I think religion is a great way to get world peace."

Anna chose:

Roman Catholic Church

Anna: I love the Sopranos and Veal Marsala, so this was a natural choice for me. The confession part is good so you don't have anything hanging over your head just in case.

Forbidding debate is also good in that you only have to learn things once.

The Downside for me: The statues are very tacky and the women don't age well.

Ilize Bergeron: Originally from Wisconsin, Ilize has been blazing a runway trail for over 2 1/2 years. At 6' 1" and 102 pounds with bone structure to die for Ilize says:

"I think religion is really important to keep your holy."

Ilize chose:


Ilize: I picked this because it is the hottest religion out there.

It is sufficiently mysterious that you could probably get days off work for religious holidays and you can make up whatever you want to win a debate with non Buddhists.

I like the idea of meditating too because that's something I can do while I'm working instead of humming.

The downside : The reincarnation aspect. Since I'm wealthy attractive and happy in this life, I'm kinda scared of coming back next time as a leper or even worse, fat.

I hope that detachment from desire and the self doesn't mean no makeup. If it does I'll go for the Catholic route.

Magra Doucet: Magra, from Sault Ste. Marie Ontario (ooh la la! it sounds exotic!) at 5' 11" and 98 pounds, Magra's nine yard legs have been a a shutterbugs dream.

" I think religion is a good thing to have if you don't have luck."

Magra chose:

United Church of Christ

Magra: I was really drawn to this religion because it seems to require the least effort-- I travel a lot and don't have a lot of time.

Their hell is only temporary, like tight shoes, and ignoring passages of the Bible makes sense because I've heard it's really loooong.

The Downside: It might involve casseroles.

Billy Wild originally from London England has been gracing covers all over the world. At 6"2 and 108 pounds Billy was has been called one of the most beautiful woman alive.

"Religion is very much like exercise in that I think is the key to finding your inner peace and spirituality.

I've thought many times of giving up exercise and just concentrating on religion but unfortunately you don't lose a lot of weight with religion."

Billy chose:

Southern Baptist Convention:

Billy: I liked this religion because I've seen Gone With The Wind about 10 times. I have a passion for mint juleps, alligators-- anything from the south!

This religion is perfect for anyone who likes hard and fast rules like I do and approaching complete strangers on the bus.

The Downside : At first I was put off because of big hair but then I found out it's coming back so I was relieved. The only bummer is their world is going to end sooner than the others but then again it is kind of like modeling.

Betsy Richards is a petite beauty from Illinois. Standing at a mere 5' 8' and 81 pounds, her success has astounded many fashion critics.

"Because of my height I believe it was religion that placed me at the top. Everytime I would go to an audition I would hold my crystal, cross my fingers and pray. It has really paid off."

Betsy's choice:


(We will leave out the "o" in G-d. to respect the Jewish prohibition against spelling the name or title of the deity in full.)

Betsy:Their G-d is almost like the Tommy Hilfiger of g-ds so you know who to worship without getting mixed up.

They also have great comedians. I like the idea of rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad behaviour that seems to be fair and would probably make somebody think twice of putting glue in your face spritz.

The Downside: The food looks really fattening and the religion sounds a little time-consuming, also the idea of leaving vowels out of words may catch on, like it's hard enough to read stuff now, so I don't like that.

Vim. This one named wonder is setting the modeling world on it's ear. Saz started modeling at the age of 14. Coming into this profession at such a late age has made this sultry 5' 10" 94 pound beauty a little more introspective.

"As far as religion goes, I'm really for it. I'm against hunger and leprosy and everything but really for religion."

Her religion of choice was:


Vim: Chador's are terrific for hiding thick ankles and chubby thighs,and Paradise sounds kind of like Capri. I like the idea of Jesus escaping because I cried at the end of The Greatest Story Ever Told.

Downside: I think I would have enjoyed it more if I had joined 14 hundred years ago, and I really enjoy a hot-dog when I'm not working.


Thanks to religious tolerance.org and about.com religion and spirituality for the holy how-to.

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved