Happy Woman Parody/Satire

Christmas on the Cheap

Christmas is now just a few days away, and many of us who celebrate it are finding ourselves strapped for cash. Perhaps you have overspent lavishly on yourself and have little money left to buy gifts for family and friends.

Don't fret! You don't have to take back your new faux fur jacket or that adorable silk chiffon dress. In fact, you can even make a profit on holiday giving and entertaining with these few simple tips:

Eliminate gratuitous giving by giving gifts and sending Christmas cards only to people who give or send to you.

Don't waste your money on expensive wrapping paper and tags. Use grocery bags for wrapping, decorated with pictures drawn by your children.

Cut out tags from last year's Christmas cards. Bring home a few rolls of tape from the office, or secure presents with rustic twine or festive duct tape. Make clever bows with pieces of yarn unraveled from stray mittens.

Do gift recycling, giving gifts you didn't care for to others. If caught in the act, say something like, "I love that potato dicer you gave me so much, I got you the same thing!"

As you receive gifts, open them immediately. If they're not something you like, reseal and give away, or take back to the store for credit or cash.

Encourage anonymous gift exchanges at the office, so you can put in any old chintzy thing without anyone knowing. Or offer to go around and collect cash for a present for your boss. That way, you can contribute nothing-and even take a little out!

Do you have some earrings you're tired of or never liked in the first place? Just put them in a box and wrap with care. Be sure to take off any ear goo first.

Suppose you have some excellent wine in the refrigerator, of which you've drunk half the bottle. Wouldn't it be simply terrific of you to share it with someone? Wrap in tissue paper, top with a festive ribbon, and present with a flourish.

Here's a lovely craft project for your kids: Have them take a coffee can or oatmeal container, glue construction paper to it, and decorate with buttons and rickrack. Cut a slot in the lid and send them around the neighborhood to collect for a charity. Then keep the money for yourself.

Your friends and family will appreciate inexpensive, practical gifts that show an awareness of their preferences and needs. Perhaps a bag of rags and cleaning supplies for that neighbor whose house is always untidy. How about a pair of tweezers for your older sister with the unfortunate chin hair problem? And, of course, carpet remnants make such a delightful gift!

Are there children on your list? Take that old nightgown you were going to donate to charity. Cut out cat- or bear-shaped pieces. Fill with eco-friendly dryer lint; then sew. A cuddly stuffed animal every child will love!

Go through donation bins for toys at stores and books at a library. Ignore the stares of passersby or, if you cannot, say, "I simply can't believe I put Junior's favorite toy (or book) in here by mistake!"

PAGE 1 OF 2 NEXT >>Gifts from Your Kitchen and Entertaining

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elaine is a writer and an editor.

HW UPDATES

(Want a little nudge? If you want to be notified when HW is updated as well as first dibs on contests and promotions we can send you a reminder via email or RSS feed. )

Join the HW Mailing List

Enter your name and email address below:

Name:
Email:
Subscribe Unsubscribe

We will notify you when HW is updated as well as give you first dibs on contests and promotions! We will not sell, rent, or even let anyone peek at your email address.