HURRAH! YOU'RE
GETTING MARRIED!
By Kristin
Dreyer Kramer
PAGE
3 0F 3 <<PREVIOUS
5)
Make your surroundings look like a Hollywood production.
As I've said before, your wedding should be as grandiose and
impressive as possible. Your surroundings when you say your
vows should be extravagant enough to make your wedding video
look like a major motion picture (and maybe, when it's all
over, you can make some extra money by selling your video
to Universal or Disney or someone).
Why
not make the church look like a tropical rain forest? That
would be very impressive. You should remember, however, to
be careful when choosing the wild animals. For instance, I've
heard that some varieties of parrot get quite loud and violent
if they're exposed to certain varieties of snapdragon.
6)
Carefully choreograph your reception.
We've all been to disastrous wedding receptions - when the
best man took full advantage of the open bar and proceeded
to embarrass the bride and groom during his toast. That's
why you should be sure to script the speeches for your reception.
If you write each person's speech, you won't have to worry
about your in-laws hearing any stories about the stupid things
you did when you were in high school.
Don't
hold back when writing you reception speeches! The longer
- and the more detailed - the better. Everyone loves long
speeches - much more than eating wedding cake. Tell in-depth
stories about all of the wonderful things you've done and
the witty things you've said. If you've never done anything
wonderful or said anything witty, just make them up. No one
will know the difference.
You,
too, can have the wedding of your dreams! With a lot of time
and effort (you'll want to quit your job as soon as possible
- you won't have enough time for it) and the help of your
friends and family (and everyone you've ever known whose talents
you can take advantage of), you'll have no problem being the
best bride ever! And years from now, you'll look back at your
pictures, and you'll remember just how perfect it all was
- because you took the time to make it that way!
About
the author:
Kristin
Dreyer Kramer escaped (barely!) from advertising agency life
and is now a freelance writer (starving artist) who peddles
her wares to a number of publications (under a number of super-secret
identities). She recently snagged herself a new husband (Paul),
who somehow manages to put up with her incessant silliness.
You can reach Kristin for compliments, complaints, and generous
donations at krdrkr@hotmail.com.
And you can read her bi-weekly column about her recent wedding-planning
insanity (it's called "Veils and Flamethrowers") at YourWeddingPlan.
|