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EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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Grace Notes Ltd.

By Pamela Miller

The following is a paid advertisement.

Dear Great Aunt Louise,

Thank you for the $100. It was the perfect gift. I like money and I can't wait to spend it at the mall.

Your great niece

The innocent tends to be truthful. The smarmy tends to be snide. The narcissist tends to be self-serving. Truth and attitude are the last things you want in your thank you notes. Whether you're sending out thanks for a graduation gift, or you're stumped for an appropriate comment about an ice bucket that was not on your registry, it's hard to stay on task. Your time is precious, and that deviled egg tray (also off-registry) is simply not worth the time to pen a fake thankful note.

You have money, but not time. You have intention, but not motivation. You have 500 shower and wedding gift notes to send out before your cruise.

There is a simple answer.

Grace Notes, Ltd. is the only Professional Thank You Note writing service with the personal touch. This is not a pre-printed form letter. Two lines of doggerel and a hastily penned signature will betray your laziness and ingratitude to your loved ones. In order for people to continue giving you gifts, which is the unstated purpose of notes of thanks, first they need to know that you truly appreciate their effort. Your guest checked a registry, went to a store, and paid extra for the gift-wrapping. Your guest sent in the RSVP on time, arranged for transportation and child-care, and bought the appropriate attire. Your guest may have even had shoes dyed an unflattering color. All they ask is that someone notices the effort.

Our Motto: Flattery will get you everything you've ever wanted.

Grace Notes, Ltd. provides a three-step service, and the customer is involved from the beginning.

First, staff members will first spend time with you, and learn to your handwriting style. We don't call our service forgery; this is creative mimicry. If you speak a regional patois, this will be identified. A full social history will be obtained, as well as a list of favorite foods, lifestyle choices, and hopes and dreams. Our staff will peruse the Gift Registry and may ask for a Pre-Event list of expectations. Our staff members are licensed and bonded and will sign a document preventing the aforementioned knowledge being used for criminal activity.

Second, staff members will attend the Event as a friend of a friend. This is necessary for many reasons. Our staff members will try to identify interesting moments, heartfelt comments and unfortunate occurrences. It's best not to mention Aunt Violet's alcohol intake, even if her delightful turn on the dance floor was enjoyed by all. Knowing what not to write is as important as filling up the card. Our staff members are trained in covert operations, and are able to dress to your expectations. (There is an extra charge for Costumed Events and anything requiring chaps.)

Finally, staff members will give the customer a chance to edit the final product within one week of the Event. You are guaranteed a personalized salutation, at least five sentences related to the received gift and the Event, and a gracious signature. If you are not happy, we will start over. You are guaranteed promptness, privacy, and satisfaction. No one will ever know that you hired a professional.

Testimonials:

Dear Grace Notes:

Thanks for the thank you notes. I can't thank you enough.

Thanks again,

Becky, Virginia

Dear Grace Notes:

People called to tell me they liked my beautiful thank you notes. No one could believe it was from me. I told them I tried really really really hard to write really really really good ones. Your grate.

Natalie, Idaho

Dear Grace Notes:

My family was so pleased with the notes, they gave me another $100 check. You were worth every penny.

Tracy, Maine

Dear Grace Notes:

It was with great trepidation that I entrusted the task of individually flattering each member of my extended family to you. My intention was to garner their love and support in each of my lifetime events, starting with my cotillion. The response has been outstanding, and I ended up with more than just gift cards. I earned their respect.

Sincerely,

Claire, New York

Please call or write for our rates.

Grace Notes, Ltd.

Copyright © 2008 by Pamela Miller

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Pamela Miller saves the world by day, writes by night, and wishes she could find a hotter place to live than Phoenix. The world is simply too cold.

OTHER HW ARTICLES BY PAMELA MILLER