PUBLISHED MONTHLY
EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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What You Must Know Before You Even Think About Getting a Pet Slug

By Jane Wangersky

So your kids are nagging you for a pet slug, or maybe your significant other keeps reminiscing about the slug who was his best friend in elementary school, or maybe you've felt the urge yourself - that longing for a tiny, slimy companion animal with no visible features. And you're about to cave in and get one. After all, they're cute, they're fun, and they're not much work, are they?

Wrong.

The National Slug Rescue Squad Society intervenes daily in heart-rending cases where slug owners have realized they're in over their heads with the adorable pets they picked up on an impulse. A small fraction behaves responsibly, giving the slugs into the care of the NSRSS or otherwise finding loving homes for them.

Most, however, just let the slugs loose in the backyard. What happens next is never pretty, as feral slugs are at the mercy of predators, cars, and the dreaded beer traps set by over-zealous gardeners. Before you even think about adopting one of these precious creatures, think about how it must feel to be a slug passing out in a saucer of beer.
Here are some other cold, hard realities to think about:

Still got your heart set on adopting a slug? Do yourself and it a favor by taking the NSRSS' 13-week slug care course at your local adult education facility, if possible. If not - forget the slugs and get a low-maintenance pet, like a cat.

© 2009 Jane Wangersky

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jane Wangersky writes about slugs, the English language, and anything else she thinks people might sit still for. Since winning a local award for a short story that was really just a page of unworkable word problems, she has been busy pushing her luck.