Diary of a Mad Date

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June 14 The Humane Society does not have an exchange or refund policy. They should really have a sign posted.

June 15 I just got home!!!!!!!!!!! We finally DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Last night I went to that bar he always goes to. I walked in and tried to catch his eye, but he didn't see me. He was so surprised!! It was great, we talked and talked and he said, he's so funny, "Since it doesn't look like you're going you might as well sit down." I bought him eight pints and took him home in a cab.It was so wonderful--it wasn't just physical, we made a connection so deep it was scary. I know he was overwhelmed too, because when he woke up he just said oh, shit. I'm so happy!

I vacuumed, reorganized his cutlery drawer and told him I'd be back later.

June 16 I can't drink red wine. I really shouldn't have had the whole bottle, but it seemed such a waste. On the way over to his place, I picked up some things he needed like toilet paper, deodorant and a shoe tree, but there was no answer so I waited on the stoop. Around ten his roommate Frank arrived and let me use the washroom. He's really sweet. I guess I shouldn't have opened the bottle, but by about one the cold was really getting to me.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I wish I hadn't vomited first.

June 17 He wasn't at work when I dropped by. His neighbours are really nice though, one of them offered me a diet coke. I think I'm going to like living in this area. Boy is his roommate ever moody. He told me he would call the police if I kept calling. I think he's just jealous.

The beagle ate my dress shoes.

June 18 I hid in the bushes by his house. He pulled up about two. As he was getting out of the truck I jumped out and yelled "TA DA I'm not wearing any underpants" I wish I had seen the girl before I yelled that last bit. Her name is Cheryl Hann--she seemed nice. Although he was with her I could tell he was yearning for me. I felt so sorry for her. She must have felt like a real loser.

I picked up my picnic basket, ice bucket, the beagle and caught the last bus home.

June 20 His number's out of service and I don't know where he is. I've never seen anyone so frightened by their emotions. I found Cheryl's name in the phone book. I told her it was OK, and not to feel stupid or anything and maybe we could get together for dinner. Wow is she a flake, she just laughed and hung up on me. I guess she just needs time. I read people pretty good.

June 21 All my letters come back with "moved" on them. You think I would have seen a moving truck in his driveway. It's a shame he didn't get the letters, but maybe it's for the best. I shouldn't have tried to end our relationship through the mail, but he's just too screwed up for me.

©Sharon Grehan