EST. May 2000 (AD)


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What kind of man will your shoes attract?

By Naomi Short


3. Spikey stiletto heels

You're a lady who knows where her priorities lie. Looking attractive at all costs. Those costs might be to your feet, spine, posture, whatever, but you're willing to pay them. These types of shoes say you're adventurous, exotic and willing to try things even if the physical consequences might be arduous. Similarly adventurous and dreamers of the exotic and erotic are likely to follow you in droves. The problem is that the excitement eventually wears off and these relationships are rarely sustained. When he leaves you're left with a very sore back and scrunched up toes.

4. Moderate platform shoes

Chunky elevated shoes indicate a sense of playfulness but with some practicality and comfort. They provide a lot of benefits, better viewing in crowds, clearance of puddles and winter slush, thick soles absorb impact and maximize walking on clouds experience. As long as they don't become too ridiculous in height everything is fine. But, be warned, we've heard the stories from Japanese hospitals of knee and ankle injuries from platform sporting teenagers and we have no sympathy. Someone who regularly stumbles up and down curbs is not elegant date material. These types of shoes attract younger guys who like to be fashionable. Appearance is important and hairy legs and armpits will not go unnoticed at least in the beginning. They are probably well aware of contemporary issues and will respect your feminist independence. Their age unfortunately means they are quite likely to be commitment phobics.

So now you know, finding the perfect man is as easy as changing your shoes!

©2001 Naomi Short

About the author: Currently a research scientist who has to write technical papers about Antarctica, the Arctic and climate change, Naomi is beginning to try her hand at writing about more light hearted things.