Cut Out for Halloween: The Carve Craze

By Christina Delia

By now, most cautious calorie counters have found ample reason to rule out carbs, meat, and dairy. It seems that the only foods allowed to appear at mealtime are fruits and veggies, yet many women remain unhappy with their figures. Luckily, you can now rule out fruit and veggies, too! This fall, women will be putting their faith in *The Carve Diet, and as a result, putting on the happy faces (and taking off the pounds!)

Carve is a seasonal diet

The Carve Diet is designed to fit in ideally during the weeks before Halloween rears its ugly, store-bought-mask-covered head. With The Carve Diet, you will still enjoy regular doses of fruit and vegetables, but in smaller, Carve-friendly, portions.

Here's where the happy faces come in

The most delightful part of The Carve Craze is that it is as easy to follow as purchasing and carving a store-bought pumpkin. All one needs to do is obtain the usual assortment of fruits and vegetables, and then take them home for carving (just like you would Carve a pumpkin into a jack-o-lantern!) Voila! Can you say eyes, nose, and mouth? Then you've just Carved yourself a winning, grinning dinner! Carve-Conscious Clue: Feed those apple and onion leftovers to Carve-Clueless boyfriends, husbands, and pets.

It's easy to train your brain to Carve! Here are some helpful hints to get you started:

Carve only what is fit for carving

Carve-friendly foods include apples, tomatoes, and melons. Basically, anything you can Carve a face onto without it falling apart. This will cut down on snacking temptation, by initially eliminating non-Carve-worthy vegetables and fruits from your diet. Orange you glad you didn't eat that banana?

Carve is your new best friend

Unlike your girlfriends and co-workers who will occasionally spot you a baked potato, Carve really does want you to look great. Before you eat your meals, look at your plate. That little fruit or vegetable face is not solely there to be consumed. It should be looked upon as a source of guidance and motivation, not just nutrients.

Yet Woman can not live on Carve alone

The Carve Diet, (much like cheap plastic fangs that break off in your mouth), screams of Halloween. Oh sure, you might be tempted to Carve during the long winter months or the slow summer season, but be sure to incorporate Carve into your regularly scheduled eating program. A little Carve now and then is harmless, but if Carve has become something that you Crave, it might be time to take that triangularly shaped green pepper nose out of your mouth…until next Halloween.

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*The Carve Diet should not be confused with The Card Diet, where dieters consume daily servings of food that must fit on one standard-sized playing card.

©2004 Christina Delia

OTHER HW ARTICLES BY CHRISTINA DELIA:

Dos and Don'ts for Dating a Magician

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Christina Delia is a freelance writer of humorous essays, screenplays, and poetry. She likes her problems rare and her men well done. Contact Christina Delia ( replace x with @ before sending.)