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Jenna's
Diary appears bi-weekly
July
30
Jeff
called to see if he could pick up the bunkbed/play area/ home
office contraption that he got for his rat-faced kid.
I
am so proud of myself I was calm, cool collected and said
"Yes, but you can only pick it up between 7 and 7:30
Friday night."
He
said that he'd let himself in and leave the key with the concierge
when he was finished. I told him there was no need, that I
would be there to let him in.
He
hesitated and said that he'd pick the bed up another time
and I told him if he wasn't here by 7:30 Friday I would throw
it off the balcony piece by piece.
I
think I handled that with grace. Now I've got to get ready
for Friday. I'm going to make myself gorgeous so that he'll
eat his rotten heart out for leaving me.
August
3
-
Spent the day getting waxed and highlighted and got myself
a drop-dead gorgeous outfit.
-
Jeff came and moved the bed as I sat by the window looking
remote but fabulous.
-
When he was finished I asked him if he wanted a drink. He
said no. He had dinner reservations with Kathy. It was their
anniversary.
-
Blur
-
Me holding onto his leg begging him to love me.
-
Jeff looking me straight in the eyes and saying "Jenna
don't make a big deal out of this. You know that I've always
loved Kathy, you and I weren't in love we were just goofing
around."
I
am so numb.
August
4
I've
had some time to think and I had an epiphany: I never loved
Jeff! I couldn't possibly have loved him. A person would have
to be pretty pathetic to love someone who didn't love them
back and I am certainly not pathetic.
Yeah.
This is no biggie, water off a duck's back, no big whoop.
We were after all just goofing around. I knew that.
It's
quite a relief really to not have all this love hanging around
my throat like a noose. I am sooooo glad this happened. Best
thing ever. Gosh I'm happy.
August
6
Mom
and Mr. Van Heusan took me out to Vesuvio's to celebrate her
birthday. I wasn't going to go at first but since I'm so happy
I thought I should. I found some bath bead thingys in the
closet that I got for Christmas and wrapped them for my mother.
The minute I arrived I figured I better get things out of
the way. I waited for my mom to stop prattling and said. "OK.
Jeff has left me. He told me that he never loved but don't
worry I never loved him either." Then I told her that
I was having the lasagna.
I
figured my mother would be delighted that we broke up but
of course being the perverse creature she is, she got all
teary eyed and asked me if I was OK like she meant it. When
you need her she's not there but when you are fine, just FINE
she's over you like a wet T-shirt. She just would not accept
how OK I am with all this and made a complete nuisance of
herself.
The
evening wasn't a complete disaster. The food was great and
Mr. Van Heusan slipped me a hundred dollar bill so other than
my crazy mother a good time was had by all.
August
7
I'm
never going to be able to afford this place by myself I have
two choices: move or get a roommate.
I
don't want to move because I belong in this area. So I guess
I don't have a choice.
When
I think of it though, having a roommate might not be too bad.
It would have to be a woman definitely. If I choose wisely
I could end up with someone who helps pay the rent and also
a new friend! It's time I got some new friends I'm really
sick of the old ones.
Maybe
this won't be so bad.
August
9
ROOMMATE
REQUIREMENTS
-
Good looking but not better looking. Someone I'm proud to
go to clubs with but not good enough looking to steal boyfriends.
-
Needs to be my size and weight so we can share clothes - a
little larger than me isn't too bad because it would be nice
to be the one exclaiming "Oooooo it's too big!"
for a change.
-
A professional, hopefully a glamorous career so I will be
introduced to lots of cool new people.
-
Wealthy so she won't have any problems paying the rent and
would probably stock the fridge with really good cheese. It
would be icing on the cake if her parents were filthy rich
so we could spend the holidays at her family's estate.
-Good
sense of humour. Someone who laughs at my jokes and enjoys
my irresistible quirkiness.
August
12
I
finally got the ad made up:
Two
bedroom apartment available to share. Single professional
attractive female wanted who enjoys shopping, slumber parties
and has a sense of humour. Must be self sufficient and enjoy
good food.
3:00
p.m.
Jerk.
The guy at the Sun-Times asked me if I wanted the ad placed
in the "Personals" then he told me that they charge
by the character! (Note to self: When I resume my literary
career I should think about doing that.)
The
new ad is a mere shadow of the other one.
Prof. SF to share 2BR Forest Heights Apt.
I
guess I'll have to do the screening myself. Maybe I'll work
on a questionnaire.
Look
at me. I've got on with my life just like that! I really admire
me. A lot of women would crumble. They'd just lay right down
and die.
Oh
no not I. I will survive.
No
bitterness. My irrepressible spirit marches on. I am sooooooo
not missing Jeff. I think I will celebrate my independence
with two Lean Cuisines and a bottle of wine.
12:00
MIDNIGHT A.M. IN THE MORNING
what
about me? don't I deserve feelings? ...If he was in front
of me now i'd get up off the bathroom floor, wipe the vomit
off my chin and tell him to get the hell out of my life and
leave me alone...thats what i'd do no kidding because i'm
the kind of guy who does that kind of thing. Get the hell
out i'd say and unless he promised to change and leave that
skanky wife of his who he is married to I would never talk
to him again.
im
sooooooo over him for sure.
i
think i'll write another song:
Ohhhhh,
da duh duh
Hummm, ohhhh, dummmmm,dummm
Hummmmm, ohhhhhh
Laaaaaaaa, duh dum
i'm
not so good at instrumentals.
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