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Jenna's
Diary appears biweekly
December
12
Irene
and I analyzed Rod's very revealing comment after I told him
about my mother: "Jenna if she's anything like you, you
knucklehead, I just know I'll love her."
I
left out the knucklehead part because Irene doesn't understand
how young lovers are. At first she was pretty lousy at analyzing
it. She thought that it didn't really mean anything and used
really stupid examples like the time I was in Paupers Pub
and said to the waiter if the Rickards Red is anything like
the Sleeman's I'm sure I'll love it.
I
pointed out to Irene that if she knew so much about relationships
maybe her husband wouldn't have left her. Maybe she's a little
sensitive on this topic because she cried a bit but I cheered
her up by mentioning the dream I had about them getting back
together. (Well I didn't actually have the dream it was just
a ruse to get her to talk to me again but it does seem to
make her feel better and I'm sure there is a whole section
in the bible about lying being OK if it makes someone feel
good.)
Finally
she admitted that him saying that was huge and I think
she's right.
Wow.
December
15
Oh,
here we go. My mother wants to know my plans for Christmas
and the man who is supposed to be my father said they would
like to have me over for Christmas Eve dinner. Blech. My mother
said she had to know soon because if I wasn't coming over
she and Mr. Van Heusan were going to go to Niagara Falls.
Talk
about pressure! How am I supposed to know what I'm doing this
close to Christmas! Am I supposed to say "Oh, sure mom
it would be great to spend yet another day with you!"?
I
have to find out what Rod is doing for Christmas. Unfortunately
it's really hard because he is going crazy rehearsing for
the new show that will start in January.
I'm
pretty amazed with myself, in fact I really admire me. I'm
really handling this Rod thing amazingly well.
I've
been seeing him for weeks now and haven't even slept with
him! I think that is a sign of my new maturity. Sure, he hasn't
made a move toward me but on the other hand I haven't got
him drunk and forced myself on him either. I haven't been
calling him constantly, I haven't been nagging him to tell
me what his plans are for Christmas I haven't been going through
the "where do we stand" nonsense. Truly I think
I've grown.
Maybe
I had to go through all those romantic disasters so that when
the right man came along I'd be ready!
I
think Rod is the right man. When we talk we can finish each
other's sentences. With other people I might call that interrupting
but with Rod I don't. We like all the same things: cheese,
red, other countries. It is so weird, I think I've found my
soul mate! Even when we walk side by side our feet produce
the same rhythm and if that doesn't tell you something I just
don't know what will.
I
am just so glad I met him, especially at this time of year.
The past few Christmas' have been absolutely lousy I think
I'm owed a good one. My dream Christmas would be Rod and me
ALONE somewhere. We could exchange gifts, have a nice dinner,
some wine and then...!
December
16
I
just got off the phone with Rod. ("Hey, crazy lady!"
That's sooooo sweet!) He just called to chat and he told me
that his plans for Christmas are up in the air. His sister
lives in Winnipeg and his parents are flying out to see her
but he is unsure if he is going to join them as he has a show
Christmas Day! (Who on earth would spend Christmas at the
Renaissance Experience? ) So I have my fingers, eyes, toes
and ears crossed!
I
don't know what Diana's plans are for the holiday as she hasn't
been around much. Boy is she moody! The day after she came
back from South Harbor, she came into the living room and
said "Jenna, if you want to borrow my clothes I don't
have a problem with it but I would appreciate it if you would
at least ask me first."
I
was aghast! I told her that I didn't know what she was talking
about, that if she didn't trust me after all this time then
I just didn't know what to think. I was so busy being outraged
that I forgot I had borrowed her clothes.
She apologized but it still hurt.
December
18
I
met Rod after his show. Of course the whole cast had to tag
along but at least we got to be together. We had a great time,
laughing, talking - just enjoying being in each other's presence.
Towards the end, I very casually asked him if he had decided
what he is doing for Christmas and he said that he wasn't
going to go away. Whoooo Hooooo! I asked him if he wanted
to come over to my place Christmas Eve and HE SAID YES!
Whoo
hooo! Yes!!! I AM SO HAPPY!
I've got to find out what Diana has planned for the holiday
as three will definitely be a crowd! I just hope and pray
she's going back to South Harbor for Christmas because all
I want to do is spend Christmas Eve alone with the man I love.
Oh, gosh did I just say that? LOVE ???!!! Oh. My. God.
I
guess I have to admit it, I've fallen for him. Even thinking
about him makes my chest tighten. He's on my mind all the
time. His laugh, his twinkly eyes, his graceful way of moving,
his sense of humour. No wonder he has people hanging off him
all the time!
Although it is really bothering me now how popular he is I
have to think ahead. Couples start getting bored with each
other after a while so I think I would probably welcome fresh
new faces somewhere down the road. (Although I can't imagine
ever getting bored with Rod!!) Also, having a set of friends
in reserve saves me the bother of making any new ones so that's
good.
I
can just imagine years down the road. Rod and I sitting at
home on a Friday night. "What do you feel like doing
this weekend hon?" I'll look up from my needlepoint/writing/painting
and say "Well the Anderson's have asked us to go skiing
and the Cameron's are dying for us to see their new boat."
He'll
consider it a moment and then take me in his arms and murmur
"I think I'd prefer a romantic evening at home, how 'bout
it crazy lady?" I'll laugh at this endearment as it will
remind me of when we were first dating and of course I'll
choose the romantic evening at home but it will be so good
to have options.
I
am so happy I could choke!
December
20
I went into work and said to my mother "You're in luck!
I'm free for Christmas!" While I didn't expect her to
hoist me on her shoulders and parade me around the room I
did expect her to be happy. Instead she shot a glance at Mr.
Van Heusan and said "Oh!"
I
very haughtily said "If you don't want me to come over
I'm sure I can arrange something else."
"Jenna
it's not that, but every year you cancel at the last moment.
We've started to enjoy going to Niagara Falls - it's become
our little tradition."
Their
little tradition.
What
kind of mother starts a tradition that doesn't involve her
only child? Christmas is for families and my mother would
prefer to spend Christmas alone with her semi-new husband,
(who is not even related by blood) in some clapped out tourist
trap!!
I
was so upset I started to cry. My mother in her usual understanding
way said "Jenna for heaven's sake what's wrong with you
now?"
I
wailed "You don't love me anymore!"
My
mother tried her best (which in my very honest opinion still
is not all that good) to console me, but I wasn't having any
of it. One cannot get over the feeling of being cast out from
one's family with under the chin chucks and little coos. I
am after all not an infant.
It
was only when she asked me what I wanted for Christmas that
I realized she was sincere, so I decided to forgive her.
December
21
Diana
isn't going to South Harbor for Christmas but thankfully after
I begged her she agreed to stay out all Christmas Eve. YAY!!!I
am so excited!
I
don't think Rod is the kind of guy who would admire Martha
Stewartish decorations. (Which is good because I almost got
third degree burns the last time I attempted one of her projects.)
He is more the bohemian type - lots of candles, a couple of
scarves over the lights. No tree but a couple of whimsical
branches some real holly and maybe a few artfully scattered
cranberries. Well at least that's what the Cosmo quiz said
he'd like.
For
dinner I think I'll stick with my specialty. I'll order some
Thai food from the place around the corner, transfer it to
plates to make it look like I made it and keep it warming
in the oven.
I
wish we had a fireplace. Whenever I imagine the evening where
we finally "do it" in my head, Rod and I are sitting
in front of the fire wearing big sweaters drinking wine. I
also have fuller lips.
I
keep listening to the Christmas music and it means so much
more to me "Silver bells, silver bells, it's Christmas
time in the city" That is so true! While leaving a shopping
mall tonight I passed a Salvation Army Santa box said "Merry
Christmas!" popped in a quarter and didn't even ask for
a receipt. On the way home on impulse I twisted a branch off
a pine tree. I held the bough up to my face and the smell
was intoxicating!The guy from the tree lot was a bit of jerk
about it but I didn't let it get my spirits down.
It
started to snow as I was walking home and I stuck out my arms
and started to twirl trying to catch the snowflakes on my
tongue. How sweet and childlike I must have appeared!
Jenna,
you've had a stinking year but things are finally turning
around!
YAY!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!!!!!
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