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JENNA'S
DIARY APPEARS BI-WEEKLY
December
23
Oh
why me?
Rod
phoned and said that his roommates, Robyn and Tabetha, would
be able to make it Christmas Eve.
??????
It took me a few minutes to realize that Rod thought I'd invited
him to a party instead of an intimate evening. ARRRGGGHHH!.
He
said he'd told them all about my last "bash" and
they were really looking forward to it. I was so flummoxed
, all I could do was say "Oh, great!"
Damn.
Damn,
damn, damn.
To
make things worse the last "bash" consisted mainly
of Diana's friends. I don't have enough friends of my own
for a bash.
Damn!
7:00
OK,
Irene's coming although it was like pulling teeth. She said
she couldn't face people because she was so depressed. This
is her first Christmas since her husband left and she said
she just wanted to wallow in her grief. As her friend I thought
it best to be completely honest with her. I told her that
happiness was a choice. All the sorrow that she's had with
her husband in my view (and probably Dr. Phil's) has been
the result of her rejecting happiness. I mentioned that her
choosing to wallow rather than spend the evening with friends
really proved this. I told her that statistically 95% of depressed
people who spend major holiday like Christmas Eve alone usually
find that their grief is extended by anywhere from 4 - 6 months.
She didn't know this and agreed to come.
Jenny
and her husband wanted to spend Christmas Eve alone because
this is their first Christmas since their reconciliation.
I told her that statistically recently reconciled people who
choose to spend Christmas Eve together have a 77% of breaking
up 4-6 weeks after the event. Finally she too agreed to come.
I'm
50% certain that those statistics are true. Gosh it shouldn't
be so hard to get people to have fun! They are lucky to have
me in their lives.
So
that's three, seven of us in total. Hardly bash material.
Yeesh.
9:45
Diana
is being very awkward about all this. Don't you think you'd
be grateful if you were being invited to a party on Christmas
Eve when you're all alone? Especially when it's in your own
home, I mean how much more convenient can you get?
She
went on a big jag about having made other plans for the evening
because I'd begged her to stay away, blah, blah, blah. Finally
she agreed. I asked her to invite everyone she could think
of and she sighed and said she'd see what she could do.
December
25
About
6 of Diana's friends showed up. I told her I'd expected more
and she gave me a dirty look. Some people really need to learn
about Christmas spirit! Rod, Robyn and Tabetha showed up at
around 8:00, Irene came drooping in about nine and Jenny and
her husband arrived around 9:30 with their baby! I have no
idea why they thought it would be a good idea to take a kid
to a Christmas party, but being the gracious hostess I am
I offered to let them keep store it in my room until they
were ready to go. Jenny brought me a gift basket, Irene brought
a bottle of wine and Kate and Jake brought me a bottle of
rum. That's the one good thing about being a hostess I guess-
although if you add up the cost of the basket, the wine and
the rum, the food and drink I served probably cost more but
I don't think like that.
It
was a little dull at first - I don't think Tabetha likes me
she kept giving me dirty looks. When I told her that I'd decorated
the apartment myself she said "Yeah, it looks like you
did." Maybe that's a compliment but I don't think so.
Irene kept heaving heavy sighs and Diana's friends kept to
themselves. Thank God I was able to pick up the mood a tiny
bit when I put an extra quart of rum in the egg-nog but the
party really got going when I spiked the nonalcoholic egg
nog. We danced, laughed and even sung Christmas carols!
Rod
mixes so well with people. Before long he had Diana's friends
clustered around him and he and Furio really hit it off. Kate
was laughing at everything he said and her boyfriend Jake
wanted to know all about the Renaissance Experience and what
it was like being a knight. I was so proud! Every now and
then he'd come up behind me and give me a bit of a squeeze.
It felt like it was "our" party.
I
can just see us years from now - I'll be wearing a cream satin
blouse with cream flannel trousers with a simple (but very
good) strand of pearls. My hair will be chin length but immaculately
coifed. That's not really my style right now but I just saw
an episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show and she wore that
on a date. I thought it would be a perfect look for me twenty
years down the road. She's taller and thinner than I am but
I figure I'll get rid of the pleats. I'm not sure what Rod
will be wearing as we didn't get to see Mary's date but I'm
sure it will flatter him.
Our
parties will be huge successes because of his, and by extension,
my popularity. By that time we'll be out of the post-student
let's-be-funky-anything-ethnic-is-good-anything-middle-class-is-bad
phase and will be able to skip the Thai-Ethiopian-Japanese-
hors d'ouevres and be able to serve things like piggies in
a blanket and Triscuits with cheese. We will be able to take
down our posters from foreign movies we've never seen and
put in wall to wall carpeting and we will take great comfort
from a good furnace and a well manicured lawn.
I
was having a ball imagining my future while pretending to
listen to Irene until she got huffy and said that she thought
she should leave. I thought that a splendid idea and said
so. It was getting late and
I was anxious for the guests to leave so that Rod and I could
sneak off to my room (to give him his Christmas present!)
but stupid Tabetha wrecked the whole thing. Apparently she
doesn't usually drink and ended up getting violently ill.
I looked for Robyn so that he could take her home but he had
passed out in the bathtub so Rod had to take her home!!!!!
Arrrrgghh!
Is that a rip-off or what!!!!! I guess some would say that
I only have myself to blame. That if I hadn't tinkered with
the nonalcoholic nog then things might have turned out differently.
Well those people are wrong. I think anyone who goes willingly
to a Christmas party has to be prepared to drink alcohol without
their knowledge. It's the whole reason egg nog was invented
and it's what Christmas is all about.
Just
as he was hauling Tabetha out Rod gave me a huge hug said
"Love you!" and was just about to kiss me when Tabetha
ralphed on his shoes. Damn her!
It
was really depressing waking up Christmas morning with Furio
and Diana giggling in her room, Irene on my couch and Robyn
in the tub but Rod's "Love you!" makes up for it!
8:30
Just
got home from my mother's place. It was pretty boring. My
mother either loves Christmas or Vegas I'm not sure which.
There are motorized reindeer on the lawn, inflated snowmen
on the roof and motion sensors all over the house. You can't
move three feet without something shrieking "Ho, ho,
ho" at you. It was really creepy.
My
mom seemed to like the needlepoint thingy I gave her. I've
never seen her do any kind of needle work but she's pretty
old and I figured it's about time she started. I was pretty
insulted by their present to me - they've paid for a web design
course at Centenary College. Why didn't she just say "Merry
Christmas Jenny here is a little something from us to you
to show you how little respect for the web design work you
already do for us." I held my temper though I just said.
"Oh, thanks." Then I let it slip to the floor.
Mr.
Van Heusan loved the gift basket I gave him. Fifteen minutes
of him jingling change admiring the cellophane murmuring that
I went to so much trouble, how beautiful, oh my goodness,
blah, blah - and then he opens it to find a tag inside addressed
to Jenny's husband at work with many thanks from Hubert Personnel!
I'm could strangle her! Talk about embarrassing! What kind
of friend recycles a gift on this the most important day of
the year? I cannot believe her nerve!
Mr.
Van Heusan was embarrassed but I think I covered well by saying
things like "I can't believe they'd mix up the baskets
like this! That means some poor soul is opening a gift addressed
to you from me!" and "Is there a number on the basket?
Give me the phone and I'll call right this minute!" and
"Heads are going to roll, there is no way they are getting
away with this!" Finally Mr. Van Heusan said that
mistakes happen and that no matter what it was a beautiful
gift. My mother was giving me a bit of the stink eye but she's
going through the change so
you never know what's eating her.
December
29th
Rod
invited me to a New Year's party at the Oasis! Although I'd
prefer to spend the evening alone with him it will be nice
to usher in a brand new year together! He told me to invite
my friends but I'll take a pass on that. Irene will just get
maudlin (gosh - don't people realize how boring their problems
are after a week or two? Geez Irene get over it!) and I'm
mad at Jenny for the gift basket fiasco. Diana will probably
have other plans and quite frankly I'm a little disappointed
in her. She didn't get me a gift for Christmas!
She
has been acting so weird since she got back from her parent's
place. I don't know what's up with her. Her journal doesn't
reveal anything, it is in fact one of the most boring journals
I've read:
December
18
F
Sans Souci, Evelyn and T. E monopolized conversation as F
stared enraptured Fact she's a producer have anything to do
with? Supposed to go Bistro 990 with E on Thursday - feel
headache coming on ha-ha!
December
20
P-U
scarf for Babs at Holt's. F impossible last night. Feels that
I don't respect him because he isn't working. Probably right!
December
21
Fed
Ex prezzies to SH. Industry do at Coloured Stone, F so insecure!
T called at work to wish Merry Xmas but am still quite cool.
The whole thing with her and SWF really weird.
December
24
SWF
driving me nuts. F trying hard to please.
December
27
Get
TIX New Year for K, J -forget about F. D'Souza's little black
dress perfect.
December
28
Salon
3:00 p.m.- need distinction
It's
hard to figure out in places - who for example is T? Unless
T is Tamara but I thought SWF was Tamara. It is interesting
though. To look at Diana you wouldn't think that she was so
filled with rancour. I don't think it's healthy, I think I'll
find someway to broach the subject in the New Year. Maybe
I'll suggest counselling. Her new hairdo is fantastic though!
It's much shorter and darker with lots of little tweaks and
the little black dress is gorgeous.
December
29
It
took some begging but I was able to get a booking with Diana's
stylist Peter and told him to give me exactly what he gave
her. I want to look perfect for New Year's Eve!!!!
December
30
I
look awesome! This style looks even better on me that it does
on Diana! I could tell by the look on her face that she noticed
it too and was none too happy. Oh, well who cares! If you've
got it flaunt it!
December
31
From
the top of my head to the tips of my toes I've been sloughed,
oiled, filed, waxed, buffed and lacquered. I spent the whole
day at Pina B's Spa and got the full treatment. It was expensive
but well worth it because tonight come hell or high water,
is going to be the night! I feel ten pounds lighter!
On
impulse I slipped into Linda's Love, Lace and Lingerie and
treated myself to a the tartiest underwear I've ever seen-
I mean I even blushed when I tried it on but there is no way
any living breathing man on creation could resist me in this!
January
1st 2003
OH.
God. OH, God, God, God, God, Jesus, God.
OH
GOD.
10:15
a.m.
Oh
God! OH GOD.
12:30
p.m.
Ohhhhhhh.
2:15
p.m.
Well
where to begin. Met Rod after the show, he thought I looked
gorgeous which I did and I defy anyone on this planet to prove
different. Went to the party, danced, laughed, blah, blah,
blah, big kiss New Year blah, blah, blah, 4 a.m. and he isn't
showing any signs of leaving. I pulled Tabetha's trick out
of my hat and feigned illness. Rod took me home I slipped
into the bathroom to "vomit" instead stripped down
to my extraordinarily sexy impossible-to-resist underwear.
Came out of the bathroom, turned off all the lights, lit some
candles and posed enticingly in front of Rod.
This
was his cue to break out in a sweat, grab me and ravish me.
Gay.
He's
gay.
I
did not see that coming.
Oh,
God. Oh, God, oh God, oh God, oh God,Oh, God, oh God, oh God,
oh God,OH GOD.
Happy
New Year Jenna.
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