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Jenna's Diary appears biweekly
March 9
I am so fired up. My acting course
starts in two weeks and I'm positively frothing at the bit
to get started. Maybe in a way it is better to ease into it.
I was grocery shopping at at Alfredo's yesterday and nobody
other than the produce guy who told me to stop stealing grapes
paid any attention to me. Six months - maybe a year from now
I won't be able take a simple walk anymore.
I think I'll be able to handle
that though. I hate walking.
March 10
Hmmmm.
I told Rod about "Performer's
Choice" fully expecting him to be encouraging and excited.
Instead he said that he hadn't heard of them. Huh? So, because
he is an actor in the "legitimate" theatre (although
riding around on a horse fake fighting while people eat dinner
is hardly what I'd call acting) he is supposed to know everyone?
He asked Tabetha and she said "Oh,
God I hope it's not one of those scam agencies."
What is that all about? I'm not
one to jump to conclusions. I always weigh every situation
and I think it is very clear that they feel a little threatened
by me. The guy at the "Performer's Centre" said
I had a certain "It" quality that was unique - maybe
Tabetha and Rod see that and it scares them.
Originally I thought this would
bring me and Rod together but I haven't even filmed my first
feature and already there are problems. For example, they
did a run through of their new play in his living room (BORING)
Rod asked me what I thought and I said I thought it might
go quicker without the monologues. Tabetha snorted and muttered
something under her breath about pearls and swine and Rod
sounded like Mister Rogers as he tried to explain the difference
between the theatre and TV.
It was rather insulting. Of course
I know the difference between the theatre and TV. One I watch
the other I don't. It really made me think twice about my
relationship with Rod. I don't know if we will be able to
overcome the difficulties that may lay ahead. Sure I expected
that some professional rivalry might crop up, but honestly
I thought that would be far in the future and I figured I
could deal with that by having a clause in my contract that
forced the studio to hire my husband but I don't know if it's
going to be as simple as that.
Oh, gosh. Not only do I see problems
with professional jealousy I am starting to think that perhaps
there are too many differences between us. I don't like his
friends, he can't take constructive criticism and also the
gay thing.
Why can't anything be simple?
March 11
Yeesh, I never learn. Jenny called
and asked me what I was doing on Saturday. Like a complete
dope I said nothing and now I have to go to her kid's birthday
second birthday party. Blech. Frankly I see this as nothing
more than a cash grab because let's face it the kid doesn't
have any real friends of its own so she's got to rope in a
bunch of stooges so she can cash in.
I have no idea what to get it, I
can't even remember what sex it is and I have absolutely no
gifts I can recycle. As if I don't have enough on my plate!
To top it off Jenny asked me to come early so I can help with
the balloons. Arggghh.
March 12
My mother asked me if I was excited
about my class and I bubbled on for a few minutes about how
this could change my life, blah, blah, blah, new start, career,
blah, blah, blah. Luckily I realized just in the nick of time
that she was referring to the web design course that I cashed
in to go to acting school.
She is really hepped up because
she wants to open a virtual store. Her best friend Rosemary,
that big laughing cow put ideas of Flash and interactivity
into her brain - where on earth is Rosemary getting this info?
Why isn't she at home watching TV and praying her kids don't
get into drugs like most parents? I just wish she'd keep that
red-rimmed gaping maw of hers shut. Every time she opens it
I end up looking like an idiot.
I will tell my mother about the
web design/acting class switcheroo, but I figure I'll wait
until I get an acting job.
March 15
I will never have children. Maybe
when I'm forty and have lots of household help I'll pull a
Mia Farrow but right now, Yech.
I timed it so that I would arrive
late but as luck would have it I got the time wrong so I had
to blow up a bunch of balloons. I didn't know anyone there
other than Jenny, her husband Brian and Irene. The rest of
the people were from Jenny's boring stupid neighbourhood or
the kid's boring stupid playgroup.
Bleeeccccch. I don't even think
the kid appreciated the rifle I got it. I know for sure Jenny
didn't because she said "I'm sorry Jenna but we don't
allow guns in the house." Yeah, well thanks for the heads
up. On the upside I can return it to store and get my money
back.
I thought that I would make my announcement
during the meal and waited for a lull but the kids were so
busy calling each other wiener pie-face and yelling "See
food" while opening their mouths to display partially
chewed hotdogs that I had to stand up and call everyone to
attention. I told them that as of next Tuesday I would no
longer be Jenna the writer/web designer I would be Jenna the
actress. Instead of the applause, kudos and congrats I expected,
Tyler ralphed up his lunch which caused a chain reaction and
all of sudden it was like I didn't exist!
I very sarcastically said to Jenny
"Thanks for your support" but she was so busy wiping
up vomit she didn't even seem to notice, even when I repeated
it.
March 20
I'm really going to put my all into
this career change. I am going to study and work diligently
to hone my craft even if it means sacrifices. For example
on Thursday instead of watching Survivor I'm going
to have to watch Friends instead. The people on Survivor
are not actors so I can't learn a thing from them but
studying Monica, Chandler will give me invaluable tips, especially
regarding hair.
I am really excited.. Sometimes
you hit on an idea that feels so right you wonder why you
didn't think of it before. That's how I feel about this. I've
tried other things before and they didn't work out. I've spent
the last several seconds mulling it over and I realized that
I haven't been successful so far because of other people.
This time it's going to be different. With acting I will be
in complete control. No one controls Jenna but Jenna and I
make this solemn vow right now: I'm
going to be a star.
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You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
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