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Jenna's Diary
Note to Jenna fans - Note
to Jenna fans -Jenna's
Diary will return September 3rd 2004 and will appear sporadically in upcoming
issues of HW.
June 15
I'm not going to do extra work ever again
and not just because the casting director said so but because it is boring,
stupid and humiliating.
I did my best, I really did. For two days
I toed the line, yes-sir-no-sir-three-bags-full-sir but it didn't do any
good. "No, you can't talk to the director during filming." "No
you can't take pictures." "No, you can't start an extra's union
during the break." Rules, rules rules!
It was supposed to be a 3-5 day shoot but
I was told I wouldn't be needed in the middle of the second day so I guess
you could say I quit.
Well at least I'll be able to use some of
my holiday for fun! Ali has some time off and suggested that we go to
Niagara Falls. There are some stupendous deals now because of SARS, West
Nile Virus and Mad Cow disease so I figure as long as I don't get bitten,
sneezed on or eat meat it should be a blast!
We're going to be staying at the Foxhead
a swanky-dank joint next to the casino. TWO rooms just so that there's
no misunderstanding.
I haven't given up on my acting dream I just
realize that people of my caliber shouldn't have to lower themselves.
June 16
Ugh.
Jenny just phoned.
She is pregnant.
Ugh.
Of course I'm happy for her but I can't help
feeling betrayed. Last week she whined on and on about her stomach ailment
leading me to believe she had a 'flu but she must have suspected she was
pregnant - why would she mislead me? I mean, it's not like TV where the
woman has absolutely no idea and she goes to the doctor to find out why
she's fainting or barfing and the next shot is the woman walking in all
dreamy eyed like Lucy did when she found out she was pregnant with little
Ricky. (Oh, please! If Lucy had no idea then why was she already wearing
maternity clothes?) Nowadays you're 25 seconds late, you pee, presto you
know!
I asked Jenny if they'd planned to have another
baby and she said they'd been trying for a while - so her husband was
in on this too.
I think that's really sneaky and that she's
totally taking advantage of my good nature. It gives me the creeps to
think of them whispering, plotting and not letting me, Jenny's best friend
in the entire world, know.
This isn't fair. She's already got a baby.
Not only that, she has a husband she loves and a home. What have I got?
Nothing, nada, squat, diddly.
I'm smarter than Jenny, I'm better looking
than Jenny and I'd make a better mother than Jenny is.
This stinks.
June 21
Wow, I'm exhausted! Yesterday we did all
the touristy things. We went on the Maid of the Mist (boring) The Spanish
Aerocar (boring) the the Ripley's Believe or Not museum (boring) and the
casino (excellent!)
I won...drum roll please... THREE HUNDRED
DOLLARS! I just can't believe it!
It took me some time to work out a system
but I did and it is absolutely foolproof.
This is how it works. Ii put three quarters,
no more, no less in a machine (any machine will work except corner ones).
I play that machine until I win something, anything. Could be two, could
be 12 but I never play the same machine more than nine times.
Once I have a win at a machine I move on.
You keep doing this until you win big,( in my case 300 dollars but I'm
sure you could go even bigger.)
It is so simple I can't believe that someone
hasn't already thought of it - maybe James Coburn did but I don't know
because I've never watched the videotape I've only seen the commercials.
Anyway isn't he dead?
Maybe I could sell my own videos - that would
be such a perfect match! My acting skills combined with my gambling skills
Wow. Maybe that's the reason I was sent here to Niagara Falls!
I can just see me talking to Diane Sawyer
on Primetime or Dateline or 48 Hours or whatever show she's with. I'd
be in one of these executive suites, the ones with the elevators and pools
right in the room. I'll probably have moved on to Vegas by then as I don't
think Casino Niagara has those kinds of suites - maybe even Monte Carlo!
Diane'd be "So, you were on the road
to a highly successful acting career when you discovered your system."
And I'd be "Yeah, it's like a dream come true."
They'd film us walking through the casino
and everyone would be whispering "who's that woman interviewing Jenna?
This could really work out! Anyway It was
a great night. Ali didn't win but he was a great sport about it. He
really likes me - he treats me like a queen! We went out to dinner
and then went to the hotel bar for a few drinks. We laughed, we talked,
we drank and drank and DRANK.
We had a tiny snog by the door but that's
about it.
It was an excellent day. I have to admit
I was a tiny bit bummed by Jenny's news but not anymore. My life is incredibly
full and exciting. She just can't pick up and go to Niagara to discover
a whole new career. But I can. She can't have a love 'em and leave 'em
type of affair but I can. She can't stretch out on both sides of a queen
size bed but I can.
I am so lucky, so damn lucky.
June 23
Hmmm.
We took a walk by the Falls and it seemed
everyone was either pregnant ( the women anyway) had kids, were in love
or really old.
Where do I fit in?
I'm not in love, I don't have kids, I'm not
pregnant and I'm not old. My birthday is next week and what have I got?
This isn't fair. There were thousands of people strolling today and I
never felt so alone in my life.
Ali has been trying to cheer me up and it's
annoying the crap out of me. I can't even pick a fight with him because
he is so agreeable. I know he's crazy about me but I just don't care.
I thought it would be great to have someone head over heels madly in love
following you but it can get really trying.
I've got to shake myself out of this because
it's ruining my holiday. I think I'll have a little cocktail or two and
amble down to the casino. A nice big win would cheer me up.
June 24th
I LOST two hundred dollars! I don't know
how it happened! I followed my system exactly This can't be happening
- it's just not fair!
My acting career is in the toilet, I work
with my mother, I live in an apartment I can't afford, I've had more broken
relationships than split ends, I do not have any children and at this
rate probably won't ever have any, I'm in the honeymoon capitol of the
world with a man I don't love and I'm broke!
What is the point? I spend all my time catering
to the needs of others. Cheering them up when they're down. A kind word
a helping hand - but who is around to cheer me up when I'm down? NO ONE.
Well except Ali, but he doesn't count because I've only known him six
weeks and besides he is so smitten with me there must be something wrong
with him.
3:00
Feel much much better. I've had a couple
of drinks and my spirits have lifted -whoo hoo! I think I found the secret
to eternal happiness. Booze. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots
of booze. Even Ali looks better! If I can keep this buzz going he might
even get some nookie!
Maybe that could be my thing. I could be
the glamorous witty woman with the smoky voice who always has a cocktail
in her hand. I don't really want to start smoking but it might take away
from the image if I don't. Oh, well. Baby steps.
In any case I feel soooooo much better.
June 26th
Life is good, I'm good, so is life. Lost
at the slot machines, don't care. Sang karaoke and was excellent. Yay.
Having so much fun. I know where all the happy hours is. Are. Ali's sooooo
cute! And so am. I don't care. Gonna get ready for dinner but first another
little drinky-poo.
Wrote a poem on a cocktail napkin and it's
pretty good.
Yesterday my life was at the crossroads
Courage I sipped and the rivers roar with envy
Alone yet not for my friend carries my sorrows
In a bright pink purse on top of his head
I find I are much more creative when I drink.
June 27th
Oh. My. God.
Oh. My. GOD.
Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God.
OH, God.
Mrs. Ali Arul.
MRS.
Oh my God.
I'm married.
Oh my God.
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