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September 25th
Ack.
My knees have rug burn and I don't even want
to think about my pride but at least I'm still married.
After I gave Ali the ultimatum I went into
the washroom and waited for him to beg my forgiveness. I plucked my eyebrows,
examined a suspicious mole but... nothing. I put my ear to the door to
hear the sounds of weeping but all I heard were the sounds of packing!
I pride myself on my cool head but the thought
of having to go back to work and handle the rent of the apartment myself
caused me to snap. I bounded out of the bathroom, begged and pleaded him
not to leave, told him I didn't mean it, he could have his family, his
gold card and me, no choice necessary.
I cried and wailed and held onto his leg
as tried to leave. He dragged me halfway to the elevator before he consented
to stay.
Ack.
Like I say, I don't want to think about it.
Ali's pretty new at this relationship game.
In time I'm sure he'll realize that when forced to pick between me and
anything else under the sun, he supposed to pick me, but right now he's
pretty green and does what he wants to do instead of what I want him to
do.
Tomorrow he's going to visit his family in
Whitby to try and smooth things over. I offered to come with him but he
refused. I'm so glad. I can't stand my own family it's unlikely I'll get
along with his.
October 2
I don't officially start being a housewife
until Diana leaves at the end of the month. I can't start now because
we share an apartment and I'd be her wife too which is way too weird,
so I'll have to wait until she moves out.
I've just been taking it easy which is really
hard for someone with my type A hard driving career minded highly motivated
personality but I'm trying. I've been making notes on what type of wife
I'm going to be. I'm kind of torn between the power couple or the woman-behind-the-man
thingy.
Man this is exhausting. I think I'll watch
Maury and think about it some more.
October 4
I told that guy who has a crush on me at
Alfredo's Foods that I got hitched and I think it hurt him deeply because
he acted like he didn't even know who I was.
October 7
Diana is being an absolute cow. I think she's
jealous because I'm married and have a husband while she has nothing but
a boyfriend. I tried to help her and told her that I remember what it's
like being single and it's no joke. Coping with lonely nights, feeling
unwanted - it is frankly awful and I told her if she wanted to talk to
me, get diet advice or to cry on my shoulder she was welcome to.
Instead of being grateful she accused me
of stealing her clothes. What is it with people?
I was highly indignant, told her that I had
no idea of what she was talking about and slammed the door to my room.
If she thinks I'm going to give them back
now she has another thing coming. And to think I was planning to dry clean
some of them!
October 10
I have no support system at all.
Jenny left a message saying she'd love for
us all to get together, that she'd love to meet my "husband."
Of course I couldn't see quotation marks but I could hear them and my
mother left three messages asking me if I'd come to my senses. Which is
really stupid because if I was out of my senses I wouldn't know what she
was talking about. Irene phoned to get directions to the new Costco.
If one of my friends had very romantically
run off and married a handsome or halfway decent looking guy I would not
only offer my most hearty congratulations, I would buy them a huge expensive
combined shower/wedding gift and hold a fantastic bridal shower.
But I guess that's just the type of person
I am compared to the type of person they are. Person they is. Persons
they are. People they is - are.
Ali's been pretty moody since he came back
from his parents. Apparently his parents, uncles, cousins, grandparents,
godparents, you name it, were there to try and convince him to get the
marriage annulled! He told me that
he refused but I have the feeling he's starting to have some doubts.
What? Hello? If anyone should have doubts
it's me! After all, I'm the one who is making all the sacrifices. I've
given up my career and my roommate just to please him. My whole life has
been turned upside down and now his family is trying to come between us.
This isn't fair.
I should rent West Side Story.
October 13
Wow TV is right: Marriage isn't easy.
There's the feet thing for one. Everywhere
I look there are feet or feet remnants. I come in the door and trip over
shoes. I take a bath and find a sock, I watch TV and Ali's sitting there
with his feet on without a care in the world.
He rubs his feet while he watches TV. He
brushes the soles of his feet before he gets into bed and - total grossout
- he cuts his toenails in the bathroom. Blech.
Diana has feet too, but they don't bug me
because she has them professionally attended.
There's also the breathing issue. Ali is
doing it all the time and it's really driving me nuts. In out in out in
in out out in. What a jerk.
I was thinking of writing to Dr. Phil but
with my high impact writing skills he'd probably want me on the show and
I just don't feel like traveling now.
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©2004
Sharon Grehan
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