|
Note to Jenna fans -
We've included a couple of refresh- your-
memory links as we know you're not as young as you used to be.
October 15
Ali moved in the last of his stuff and we
went out for dinner. The meal was fantastic! We had a wonderful time.
We came home had some brandy and then...well, let's just say it was
incredibly romantic and I'm 94% positive it wasn't just because I
was completely loaded. He even said after it "Hey, What do you know?
Being married isn't all bad."
This morning as he left for work I snuggled
back down under the blankets and felt very, very happy. I feel rosy and
protected and cared for. Marriage rocks!
I wonder if I love him. I don't think I love
him in the traditional "in love" way. Like my heart doesn't
flutter when he walks into a room but I don't feel nauseous either. He
can look kind of paunchy and his hair is thinning a bit, but Dev on
Coronation St. is even puffier and he's considered a hunk. Sure he
has more than his fair share of annoying characteristics but when I think
of the men I've been involved with like Rod and Jeff, Ali starts to look
better and better. The number one thing he has going for him is his love
for me.
This marriage thing has been a big upheaval
for him what with falling out with his family and all but I shouldn't
use up all my compassion because what about me? What about the life changes
I've had to make? I had to give up a lucrative career in order to care
for him and that takes some getting used to. So I guess we're even.
October 17
Jenny - Wedding shower/Edible body oil
Jenny - Wedding/Set of twin sheets
Jenny- Baby Shower/Pens
Irene- Wedding / Light up picture of Niagara
Falls
Irene- Engagement/ Pot holders and maple
syrup
Irene- Post divorce/4 glasses of wine
Mum- First wedding/nothing
Mum- Second wedding/ Billy Big Mouth Bass
and the gift of my time.
Wow. When I think of all the money I've forked
out for every one else and I get married and what happens? Nothing, nada,
zilch, zero.
That's so not fair. It is completely
soul destroying.
Just another one of those things that good
ol' Jenna will have to take on the chin I guess. No wonder so many people
see me as the strong silent type.
I'll continue to go to their engagement parties,
their wedding and baby showers, their retirement parties but I won't be
bitter. A small private smile of pain may appear from time to time and
perhaps when I'm 80 people will think back and go "Did we ever give
Jenna a shower?" "Oh my God no!" but it will be too late
then because I'll be dying and they will feel awful and that will be great.
I can hardly wait.
October 20
I phoned Jenny and told her that Irene was
an absolute bitch for not phoning to congratulate me on my wedding "Like
it's not like I expect a wedding shower..." I let that hang in the
air for a while, but instead of picking up on the wedding shower hint
she got stuck on the first part. "Jenna, she's still mad at you for
telling everyone she's an alcoholic."
God let go, already!
"Still, I was there for all of her stupid
life events,I helped arrange her engagement party and her wedding shower,and
I was a bridesmaid at her wedding!
"Where you made a pass
at her husband."
I chose to ignore this "Anyway, I've
attended more showers than Ethel Kennedy but when it's my turn I get nothing."
"Jenna, do you want me to throw you
a bridal shower? Is that what this is all about?
God Jenny is coarse.
"Why are you so hung up on wedding showers
Jenny? I just phoned to ask you why Irene couldn't be bothered to congratulate
me on the happiest day of my life and you start raving about wedding showers!
God, if you really cared that much about wedding showers you should be
arranging them and not harping on about them all the time."
There. I think that got my point across without
being crass.
October 21
Oh God. I don't know how she did it but my
mom bullied her way into my life. ARGH. She's coming over on the 29th
to meet her new "son-in-law". Once again I didn't see the quotes,
but I heard them, by God I heard them.
This is going to be awful.
As if her being here wasn't enough, I didn't
mention that Ali was Indian to my mother. I think she'll probably drop
dead. I can guaranteed that if there is something stupid annoying or offensive
to be done she'll do it.
I broke the news to Ali and he said that
he was looking forward to it.
The man is a saint.
October 22
I wanted to prepare an Indian feast for my
mother's visit, to show her that I'm a real Indian wife. I went out shopping
for a book of Indian recipes but all of the ones I found had really weird
food in them so instead I went looking for an English to Indian translation
book. I couldn't find one but I did find an English to Spanish which is
pretty close.
October 23
Diana wants her security deposit back. If
she'd just accept the shoes I spent the money on everything would be OK
but no, she wants a check.
I don't know why I ever opened up my heart
and my home to her and her freaky friends. They are just not in my league.
I'm a different sort of person entirely "Su dinero es mi dinero"
or whatever the saying is. You want clothes? Help yourself to anything
in my closet. You need jewelley? It's all there, again, help yourself.
But Diana? You borrow a few or 30 things like friends do and she wants
to call the police.
I'm glad she's going. Good riddance to bad
rubbish or " hay una bola del pong del silbido de bala en mi cabeza."
Wow this translation stuff is really easy.
Maybe I could work at the UN!
October 28
Yesterday I saw Ali's place of business for
the first time and was really underwhelmed. It kind of looked like my
mother and Mr. Van Heusan's office. I thought about redecorating, but
I need a bit of a break right now. If I decorate then everyone's going
to be all "Oh, my God this beautiful would you do my place too!"
and then I'm going to be stuck decorating everybody's homes and offices
and I'm not really sure that's what I want to do as a career right now.
My mother called to ask if she could bring
anything tomorrow, so she's starting in on me already. I told her that
my husband could afford everything thank you very much and hung up.
God, I wish tomorrow was over and it was
already the next day.
October 29
D-Day
She said the place looked beautiful which
was rather snide if you ask me, and the second she was in, before she
even met Ali she asked to use the washroom! How rude can you get! She
said she wanted to freshen up.
Argh.
Ali was charming, he took their coats, got
them drinks and made small talk in the living room while I rearranged
the spice cabinet and waited for the Thai food I'd ordered to arrive.
When the food arrived, Mr. Van Heusan pulled
me aside as I was dishing it up and said " The important thing is
your happiness honey. If you need anything..." Then he fumbled in
his wallet. He was about to give me a few bills but I stopped him and
kissed him on the cheek.. He really is sweet. The only thing wrong with
him is my mother.
We'd no sooner started eating when she started
right in. "So, where did you meet my daughter, Ali?"
Just as Ali was telling her about our acting
classes it dawned on me that I'd never told her that I was taking acting
classes. I braced myself for her reaction but instead she said "
So you knew Jenna before! Of for heaven's sake I thought you'd met in
Niagara Falls! Well that puts a different light on it."
So, she thinks that I went to Niagara Falls,
met someone and married them.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence mom."
"Well Jenna you didn't give us much
information. I didn't even know about the acting classes let alone about
Ali so you can hardly blame me."
That's what she thinks.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse
my mother opened her ginormous trap, took a bite of food and said "Ali,
is this food from your native land?"
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
"IS THIS FOOD FROM YOUR NATIVE LAND!!!"
Ignoring the "native" slur, does
she really think Ali looks Thai-ish...Thai-wanese... Thai-waneseish-whatever-
the point is I KNEW SHE'D DO SOMETHING RACIST.
I could've crawled in a hole and died. Ali
, the perfect gentleman, the saint said "No, this is Thai food we
ordered it from a little place around the corner."
Who could not love that man?
"Well it's certainly delicious."
"That does it! Look, Ali is my husband
no matter what cultural taboos you have and you are just going to have
to accept him."
I threw my napkin down and ran to the bedroom.
I knew this would happen, I knew it!
Why must every climb I have be uphill? Why
must I constantly swim against the current? Why must every battle be fought
with, without, why must every battle be forged out of...it doesn't
matter.
I will never, ever, ever in a bazillion years
talk to her again.
.
New to Jenna's Diary?
You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
Well that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
Click here for a past diary excerpts. |
