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Jenna's Diary
appears every Friday
Oct 26
The flat feeling
has left me, it's been replaced by a general pissed-off feeling.
I am so angry
at so many things that I can't even pinpoint the one that's bugging me the
most.
The flea market
job is still open to me. Big fat woo-hooo.
Since I'm completely
flat broke and there aren't a lot of jobs open for somebody who doesn't know
how to do anything I'm going to have to take it.
It doesn't mean
I'm going to have to like it nor does it mean I have to be good at it.
Oct 27
This place stinks,
it literally stinks.
There's a vendor
by the entrance who has a mini doughnut machine. You get to watch the doughnuts
sizzling in oil and they go across this little conveyer belt where they dump
powdered sugar on them.
I used to love
those doughnuts until this morning when I ate a dozen. Now I get nauseous
every time there's a breeze.
Another guy sells
incense and it is absolutely rank. It is what I imagine a burning brothel
smells like.
I feel like an
absolute jerk sitting behind a table that is completely overloaded with Precious
Moments.
My mother came
down with Mr. Van Heusan (now that they're living together I'll have to think
of something else to call him--I'm looking for something in the one-two syllable
range). She twittered and he chuckled as they unpacked the boxes and set up
the display.
There was a huge
debate over whether Love is Sharing should be next to All Things
Grow With Love or if Friends Never Drift Apart would be over shadowed
by Safe in the Arms of Jesus.
That's when I
ate all the doughnuts.
Oct 28
I HATE THIS PLACE.
I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT.
Oct 29
STILL HATING
IT, but I've branched out to include my mother, Mr.Van Heusan, the vendors
on either side of me and the customers.
Oct 30
I'm not a bad
person. I've never killed anyone I only think bad things in my head I don't
say them and even though I haven't had time recently I am a Christian. Why
is everything going so wonky?
I always imagined
that at this time in my life I would be wearing capri pants in the evening
and eating fondue with my husband the writer, and our friends. We'd play charades
and listen to pop music on the HiFi. By day I would be busy at the news station
dressed in fine tailored suits and have a laugh with my whacky co-workers.
Mary Tyler Moore
has wrecked my life.
Instead I'm trying
to get the doughnut/incense reak out my clothes while watching TV with a guy
I can't stand.
I shouldn't say
that. I used to despise him but now I'm so busy hating everything else that
I don't have time for him.
He has been pretty
good, he has been coming to pick me up at the Flea Market helping me close
up. We usually have a bite to eat and watch television and then he goes home.
Some nights I
want to tell him to get lost but I usually forget.
Nov 1
I wish I was
selling the stuff the guy next to me Les, is selling. He has a complete line
of novelty products: beer can hats, fish singing on plaques, and invisible
dogs.
His sales technique
consists of very few phrases. "You want it or not?" and "Either
buy or don't waste my time."
For someone
selling such hilarious stuff he sure has a lousy personality.
I, on the other
hand, have to deal with people who not only know the names of every single
item in my inventory, they know the names of stuff that hasn't even been made
yet.
Word has gotten
out , so Precious Moments collector's from all over the city are flocking
to my booth. They all have that weird look my mother used to have.
They have a figurine
for every single milestone in their life and they spend hours yacking about
their collections. I am so glad I have my Walkman that way when someone gets
too emotional I just turn up the volume.
Nov 2
I'm going to
be on TV!!!!! Whoo hooo!!!!! The market is celebrating it's 20th anniversary
this weekend and they sent a news crew down to get a local interest story.
The newsguy Ed Valan was interviewing some of the vendor's.
He was over at
Les's booth so I left mine to see what was going on. Without meaning to I
started to be charming and witty.
Les is really,
really mad at me but I can't see what I did that was so wrong? So what if
I started talking about his merchandise as if it was my booth. He's the one
who's going to get the sale.
The guy Ed is
sooooooo good looking in a kind of mannequin way. I really think he liked
me because he kept encouraging me to talk.
I probably should
have learned more about the history of the market rather than making it up
as I went along but I threw in "we're all just one big family" thing
that I just know the public eats up.
I was so comfortable
in front of the camera, I didn't even have to think words just poured right
out of me.
I was really
good--maybe this is a sign from above!
It'll be on the
11:00 newscast--I can hardly wait!!! Maybe someone from Hollywood will be
watching.
They're trying
to cast a movie and they are looking for an unknown. Steven Spielberg sees
me on the news and gets on his cellular and says "Turn to channel 3--I
think we found our Caitlin".
I'd be minding
my own business and the phone would ring. At first I would think it's a joke
and just roll my eyes and Steve would say. "If you don't believe me call
me back at this number'
I do it, and
I'd realize it's for real.
I'd be doing
interviews telling everyone the funny story of me thinking it's a joke and
the interviewers would laugh and laugh.
I wouldn't be
able to go anywhere without people recognizing me but I wouldn't mind. I'd
laugh and joke with people and they would say how I was just like a regular
person.
My ex-boyfriend
Andy would see me at my premiere. He'd come up to me and say "Jenna dumping
you was the worst mistake I ever made" and I'd pretend not to recognize
him and he'd be crushed.
No---I'd notice
that he was down on his luck and he'd tell me how dumping me was the worst
mistake he ever made and I'd pat his cheek and give him $50, and the reporters
would take my picture.
My new Hollywood
friends would understand me but they would want me to take drugs. They gain
more respect for me when I don't .
I might just
make it after all!
©S.Grehan
Copyright
© 2000 www.happywomanmagazine.com
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