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Nov 17
I was so excited.
I agonized
over what to wear because I'm not sure what kind of daughter he wants.
The restaurant
didn't give a clue because it was in a strip mall, so I finally decided to
go for a responsible because it's way too cold for my free spirit look.
I was only five
minutes late, but he seemed really agitated. He told me he had called my home
four times to make sure I wasn't in an accident. I was thinking that if I
had been in an accident, it was unlikely that I would be home but I didn't
want to start things off on the wrong foot.
He told my about
his wife and her two kids and how he has raised them since they were small.I
felt a big pang of jealousy. Here he is raising two strangers while he has
ignored me, the fruit of his loins.
He went on and
on about Catherine and her three kids, how proud he is to be a Grandpa and
how Megan is a "career-gal" and then he went on about his work.
He specializes
in time and motion studies which at first I thought meant some sort of interpretative
dance, but it has to do with work measurement and productivity.
This made me
kind of nervous because while he had finished his appetizer, I hadn't even
organized it satisfactorily on my plate.
I tried to imagine
what he was like when he was younger but it was so difficult because he had
that newborn look that a lot of men in their late sixties get.
As he timed the
waiter I found it very hard to picture him dressed as a character from Rocky
Horror Picture show and getting wasted on Purple Jesus.
We just made
small talk because unfortunately it's that's the only talk I have.
He has invited
me to spend Thanksgiving with his family.
Gulp.
Nov 18
My mother has
been burning up my answering machine trying to find out how the dinner went.
I figure if I had to wait over a quarter of a century to meet him she can
wait a few days to find out how the meeting went.
I am still so
mad at her.
I feel so unsettled.
I really, really want to like him, in fact I really want to love him because
the family I have right now really isn't working out for me, but there is
just something so...anal about him.
It was really
embarrassing to have him explain to waiter the importance of a tray in productivity.
He wasn't rude--in fact he was very soft spoken and polite but I didn't feel
it was necessary for him to draw a diagram.
Nov 19
I'm going to
bring Michael with me. It'll be great to have some moral support.
I hate being
at the stupid Flea Market, hate it, hate it, hate, hate.
I hate all the
stupid people here and their stupid products and I hate that nobody talks
to me even though I don't want them to.
I'm the only
person here who has nobody to watch my booth while I go to the washroom, so
I just leave the stuff unattended.
I figure I wouldn't
buy it let alone steal it.
Nov 21
I told my mother
that I was spending Thanksgiving with my other family. It seemed to really
upset her and I'm glad.
Michael said
that he is spending Thanksgiving with his mother, but that he will drop by
later. It's better than nothing I guess.
Nov 22
I feel sick.
I don't want to spend Thanksgiving with strangers. I want to be with my mom.
I phoned her
to tell her I could cancel, but she told me that she and Mr. Van Heusan made
dinner reservations and then they were going to the casino.
What kind of
mother would let her daughter eat Thanksgiving dinner with perfect strangers?
Fine. I have
a new family now, I don't need her. This is probably what has been wrong with
me my whole life.
Her.
Perhaps this
family will give me the stability, love and encouragement I've craved.
I've always wanted
a sister, and now I've got two! (I think, I'm not sure how that works). It
will be so cool to do sister things, like share clothes and... well other
sister things.
We can call each
other up and go, "hey sis, I'm having a dinner party and we need a fourth,"
or "sis, do you..." Well I'm not actually sure what sisters say
to each other, I'll have to watch that old series with Swoozie Kurtz to get
a better idea.
We'll have these
really big holiday gatherings just like the old Andy Williams Christmas Specials
and sit around the fire roasting chestnuts and drinking egg nog.
We'll all be
wearing these really cool sweaters and we'll all have nicknames.
This is going
to be great!
Nov 23
This has been
the worst, absolute worst Thanksgiving I have ever had.
I don't know
when David (there is no way I'll ever be able to call him Dad) told them I
was coming but I got the feeling that it might have been about seven seconds
before I arrived.
The house is
beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, this time motion stuff must pay a bundle.
His wife Lily is English and very pretty in a glazed china kind of way. When
she is talking to you, you get the feeling she is calculating how much she
could get for you on the open market.
Catherine is
friendly, has a big moon face and three really, really dumb kids. Megan looks
exactly like Catherine Zeta-Jones. She is the "career gal". I hated
her.
It was soooo
uncomfortable. Lily and Catherine kept asking me questions that seemed harmless,
but the way they kept exchanging looks every time I answered made me think
the question had a little more weight than I first thought.
I got to the
point, that when they asked me if I would like a glass of wine I found myself
wondering what they really meant.
Catherine was
the only one who seemed nice but she spent the afternoon wiping drool off
her dopey kids. (example: "What does the kitty say Tyler" long wet
mouth hanging pause: "Kitty!")
David had allotted
27 minutes for cocktails before dinner which allowed three minutes for us
to get to the table.
The conversation
over dinner was very stilted. Lily and Megan
kept looking at me as if I was about to burst into flames.
The meal came
in at 57 minutes and David was a little bit miffed as he had thought we were
making good time. I know it was my fault but I got into this habit of chewing
my food that I find hard to break.
Michael arrived
shortly after they finished clearing the table. I offered to help but Lily
said that it was real crystal. I don't know what that had to do with anything
but I really didn't want to argue.
The minute Michael
arrived Megan was over him like ugly on an ape, I was furious!
David tried to
initiate conversation but with all the fishy looks from Lily and Megan I felt
like we were playing clue.
What a disaster.
I can hardly wait to tell my mother.
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