July 12
I'm not really
sure how the job interview went. I was an hour late because I slept in but
the interviewer didn't seem to notice.
He was a little
odd. He just kept folding my resume into little squares until it was about
an inch big and then he put a staple through it. He didn't ask me any questions
he just kept folding, stapling and looking at the phone. I told him my qualifications
and then the silence freaked me so much the next thing you know I'm bragging
about para-sailing.
Just when I
was warming to the subject, he suddenly got up and thanked me for coming,shook
my hand and led me to the door.
I didn't even
remember to ask about holidays.
July 13
My mother got
the super to let her in. She's changed. Ever since she got interested in
Precious Moments she's not the same. The only glimmer of her old self was
when she told me that she was sure the place had been burgled. (Two baths
towels in the living room and my mom thinks the place has been razed) but
then she went back to that eerie nice-ness
She is absolutely
giddy after finding out that "Tender Tails" has been retired or
suspended or killed or whatever they do to make those things stop, and that
they are going to go green at the convention because she has invested heavily
in them.
The absolute
worst thing is she now speaks only baby talk.
I have to sleep
on the couch because my wallpaper in my living room depresses her.
July 14
I can't see
her, but I can hear her clinking. I'm not sure if it's her earrings, her
necklaces or even her hair (she uses a lot of hairspray) but I keep looking
out the window for the ice cream truck.
July 15
I got the job!!!
I am so happy. This is perfect because I didn't tell my mother that I was
unemployed, so that meant every morning I would have to rush off to work
and then sit at Galaxy Donuts for seven hours.
My boss, Mr.
Van Heusan, was rushing out the door as soon as I came in. I wish I had
asked him what it is I've actually been hired to do because that would make
sitting there a lot easier.
I'm so glad
the phone didn't ring because it dawned on me I don't know the name of the
company. I looked on the door and it's just a number, there is no letterhead
or business cards and the computer requires a password.
I didn't bring
anything to read so I settled down to write some poetry. I woke up at 6:15
Wow, my first
day and I've already got overtime!
July 16
I'm worried
about that Precious Moments cult. My mother gave me my birthday present
a (what else) Precious Moments figurine called Sherbert. It gives me the
absolute creeps, and so for that matter does she.
She presented
it to me and her eyes went all glassy. Then she started to chant in this
weird singsong voice "There's no sense in giving If not from the heart,
For that is where loving And giving both start. There's no need for sharing
If it's not true That your reason for sharing Is because you want to..".
I'm thinking
about getting her deprogrammed, but not just yet, because she hasn't ragged
on me about my hair yet.
July 18
It was horrible
at work, Mr. Van Heusan was there all day!
How am I supposed
to go about my routine with him sitting there? I had my day all planned
and then he blows it. No Cosmo, no nap, no poetry. I am absolutely exhausted.
Worse, he doesn't do anything either!! He just sits, sighs, unbends paper
clips and calls me Susan.
I can't work
like this.
July19
I get home
and my mom is sitting there with another freak from the cult. They seemed
really pissed off but it's hard to tell when people are talking baby talk.
Apparently
one woman at the convention made a disparaging comment about the Lord
Keep Me On My Toes plush bear. They kept ranting on about this evil
Agnes, and then by some strange signal they get this weird look, clasp hands
and say "best fwiends". simultaneously.
I wish my mother
was a drunk, then this wouldn't be so embarrassing.
