Jenna's Diary appears every Friday.

Dec 8

The doorknob fell of my linen closet last night and I called Michael. HE WASN'T HOME. He was probably out with Megan. Out with Megan having a wonderful time, out carousing with Megan while I couldn't get a fresh pillowcase to save my life.

I called right up until midnight, but I didn't leave any messages because I'm not desperate.

What does she see in him? What does he see in her? Why are they seeing each other?

Meanwhile, I'm left here with that stupid Kiwi shampoo that I thought would be really great but isn't because it makes my hair smell like cat pee. And if I even thought about waxing there is absolutely no way I could, because everything is in that closet.

It's not fair. I'm here all by myself with knobs popping off in my hands---OK maybe it didn't just 'pop' off maybe it took 3 or for tries, but the point is... the point is that it's just not fair.

Dec 10

The flea market goes mental at Xmas absolutely mental. My booth has attracted throngs. They've come out with the Precious Moments Christmas 2000 line and I couldn't get more crowds if I was trapped in a block of ice.

My mom and Mr. Van Heusan have been popping by during the day. They are absolutely ecstatic. They are opening a retail store in January which I get to be the manager of, but hopefully I'll get hit by a bus before then.

My mom has hired me an assistant who'll start tomorrow.

I have mixed feelings about that because I think it would have been nice for me to pick my own assistant and it will be really strange to have someone who actually wants to work here, but on the other hand it'll be great to boss someone around and slack off.

Dec 11

Her name is Brittany and I HATE HER. She's about 5'9" and weighs between 2-3 pounds. Her hair is in perky spikes and every sentence seems to be drawn on her last breath.

The only time she becomes animated is when she is relating other conversations. Her voice takes on this high pitched urgency for example :" My brother goes (sonic pitch)Oh my God you're getting so thin!!! and I'm like (regular death voice) whateeevvvver."

Her tongue is pierced and even though it's minus 3 she is wearing a tank top.

The worse thing is, next to her I'm old.

And fat.

I hate her.

Dec 12

Still hating her. I've been here for ages and not one single person in this stupid flea market has even said "hello" to me. Today Les with the singing fish and the beer can hats brought her coffee four times.

Dave has been leaving his booth unattended (no big whoop as far as I'm concerned who's going to steal busts of Elvis that look like Jackie Chan and Dragons that look like they've been left out in the sun) and he hangs around my booth flirting with her. His fly was even done up for a change.

This is so unfair. I mean I'm a good person I don't do anybody any harm unless they started it, I don't smoke and I only drink to excess occasionally.

Crammed behind this stupid booth I feel like we're holding a before and after demonstration.

Dec 13

Nobody pays attention to me nobody. My mom is deliriously happy (which is all thanks to me by the way) my friends are so caught up in their wedding and baby plans that they don't care about me.

Michael used to care about me. When I was really down he fed me soup. He used to pop over every night just to spend time with me and pick me up from this hell hole every night and listen when I complained.

Oh, my God! I miss him!

Dec 14

Oh, man it's true you don't know what you have till it's gone.

I made a list of all the things I wanted in a man.

• -kind
• -honest
• -funny
• -wealthy
• -goodlooking
• -likes me back

Michael certainly is kind--soup--and honest, funny I don't know because I usually did the talking but maybe. Wealthy-- I don't know but I doubt it--I was willing to drop that one in the next few years anyway the same with good looking.

Michael isn't bad looking, if you squint he kind of looks like Nick Nolte who I never thought was good looking but a lot of other women think so. And he likes me back.

That, I think is a really good quality.

Maybe I've been in love all this time and I didn't know it!!! After all I had lice for two weeks before I knew it. Maybe it's like the Gone With The Wind kind of love, maybe I've been looking for Ashley when Rhett was here all the time.

I have been so stupid. I've got to fix this. I'll fix it tomorrow.

After all, tomorrow is another day.