Jenna's Diary appears every Friday.

Dec 15

I feel so energized---it's like when I found the Lord and became a Christian (note to God: if this Michael thing works out, I promise to find a church I like and attend as much as I can).

I was working out strategy when it occurred to me--he has never seen me be nice!

He's seen me depressed, snarky, lousy--but never nice. What a load off. I can be nice, I've done it thousands of times.

This is going to be great. I was absolutely dreading Christmas. The thought of spending it alone after year's debacle was horrifying.

I wonder what he'd like for Christmas?

Dec 17

Irene and Jenny popped over last night. They never used to 'pop' anywhere they used to just go.

Because of this that the friend formerly known as 'Irene' now wants to be known as 'Poppy'.

It is completely nauseating.

They had something to tell me and they were really excited. They were doing that weird thing where they keep glancing at one another and each one looks like they are going to burst into flames with excitement.

Finally, after much urging and poking from Jenny, Irene--sorry Poppy--asks me to be a bridesmaid.

I didn't know what to say.

I have to admit that I had been feeling a little left out. After all Jenny and Irene only became friends recently because they were both mad at me. Irene was my best friend and Jenny was the friend I used to call when Irene couldn't go out. They didn't even like each other. But they had one of those 'what's the matter with Jenna' conversations that bloomed into a friendship.

They looked so happy that I didn't have the heart to ask them if they were high so I managed a weak smile and told them that it would be great.

Then I was finally able to turn the conversation back to me.

They are dying to meet Michael! They were so happy that I'm involved with someone. We talked about how great it would be over Christmas--they remembered their experiences with the first flush of love. I got excited just talking about it.

Maybe being a bridesmaid won't be so bad, they are pretty terrific friends now that they are talking about me again.

Dec 20

It is so hard to start a relationship when the other person won't call you back. I've left more messages for Michael---all nice, really nice--but he hasn't returned any of my calls.

It's a bummer because I want to start my Christmas shopping. I'm getting Mr. Van Heusan a Big Mouth Billy singing bass and I'm giving my mother that book I got as a present last year. Simple Abundance or something like that I haven't had time to read the title.

I don't know whether or not to buy my new family anything. I don't see why I should I only met them once and I don't even know if I'm going to see them over the holiday's.

I hope I do see them though, because I'm just dying to see Megan's face when I walk in with Michael on my arm. It makes me hum to think of it.

Brittany is driving me completely mental. She has the reference level of a new born and her tongue stud keeps clicking against her teeth. The worst thing is she keeps saying "no offense" after making remarks about visitors to the flea market.

Things like "yeah, like that women needs mini-donuts ewwwww, oh! No offense!"

Or "So, my boyfriend he like, talks about this like, girl? who like, works with him? and I'm like, what's going on? are you like,boffing her? and he's all no! come on, she's old? and so I like go to his work right? and I see her come out and I laugh 'cos she's like, all old and fat and stuff...oh! no offense."

What does this mean?

Dec 21

Michael is coming over. I can't believe how nervous I am. I was beginning to think that he would never call me back. I finally had to break the sink again. For good measure I made sure a couple more knobs fell off.

I can't figure out what to wear. I don't want to look obvious, but I want to look sexy and alluring. I tried on about seven outfits--I'm going to go to a different Laundromat this one for sure is shrinking my clothes--until I settled on a pair of Capri pants that still fit as long as I don't do up the button and a simple white shirt.

I look really good when I curl my legs up under me on the couch and lean into my chin. Kind of kittenish.

I didn't tell him it was for dinner so that ruled out candles--I wanted it to look like he had caught me in the middle of my own dinner.

I'm making Chicken Wellington--it's going to be a breeze--I'll prepare it ahead of time and then put it in the oven before he comes over and I'll have some wine casually chilling. I want him to think that this is the kind of meal I have when I'm eating alone.

He'll come over I'll very nicely say "Oh, by the way I was just about to have a bite to eat--are you hungry?" and then I'll just whip it up, just like that.

We'll have some wine and I'll compliment him on something and then we'll laugh and then---

Magic.