Jenna's Diary appears every Friday.

Feb 16

I still haven't heard from Jenny and Irene and I'm too scared to call them.

I'm going to change my life. No more drunken escapades, no more whining, complaining or lying. I am going to be a person with good Christian values.

I realize the last few months I haven't been behaving well. I know it is the fault of the media but I am going to start taking responsibility for my actions.

Making out with Irene's husband at their wedding. I am totally responsible for that. (Although if Thor hadn't arrived with Mary Ann Keutabel and there hadn't been an open bar and if Irene had a seamstress who could add none of this would have happened.)

The store is not doing so well. I have been responsible for that by rolling my eyes every time a customer talks about Precious Moments. I can't really be responsible for my mother choosing to sell a a product that is vomit-making but until she is ready to take responsibility I will bear that cross.

That is a great start and I admire myself for taking full responsibility even in cases where it wasn't my fault.

I am going to dedicate my life to helping people and achieving a complete spiritual balance.

Feb 17

It is the weekend and I have absolutely nothing to do but that's OK. I can spend it quietly contemplating. The old Jenna would have been depressed.

I've really changed.

Feb 18

I'm going to get a satellite dish.

Feb 19

I spent the day smiling serenely at the customer's and being gracious to Paige and Madeline. They are not good people. They suspect ill of everyone. They kept saying things like "Jenna, go home if you're still feeling sick.'

I sold two Precious Moments and only snickered once.

I am definitely a better person.

Feb 20

I did some more work on my web page. I contacted Hits! to tell them that my hit counter was broken and they told me that it wasn't.

Very good-homouredly I told them that it was impossible that I've had zero visitors because the site has been up for almost three weeks.

He started yapping on about search engines and directories but I didn't catch a lot of it because "The Mole" was starting.

Feb 21

I'm going to redecorate. I'm a grown up now and I think it's time to have matching furniture. I'm too old to be living with odds and ends and mismatched pieces. I will reflect my new maturity by buying a new couch, maybe a loveseat but I'd prefer a chaise--I guess it depends on how much money I can borrow from my mother.

Feb 22

You're a good person, a kind person. You smile benevolently at people you know and think about giving money to people on the street.

You don't lie, cheat or drink excessively anymore and what does it get you?

Six extra pounds. I have gained six extra pounds on my revolutionary diet. It's a flop.

I'm not going to be on Oprah.

I have been so completely nice this week that I want to scratch someone's eyes out and this is my reward?

I have to rethink.