Mar 10

Jenny had her baby last night and I went to the hospital to see her.

I looked really good. I was even able to cram myself into my old jeans. Whoo hoo!

Jenny's mother, her husband and Irene were all at the hospital. All they did was talk about that stupid kid. I've lost 17 pounds and no one even noticed.

You'd think Jenny had performed some kind of miracle the way they were going on and that baby is UGLY.

Finally Jenny said in her new voice, a sort of indulgent, mother earth voice. "Pretty soon it will be your turn."

Everyone turned to look at me. I was going to tell them I wasn't pregnant after all but they started complimenting me on how good I looked so I didn't want to spoil the moment for them.

Mar 11

Sure, kick a person when they're down. (Except for the weight-loss which is a pretty up thing) My mother invited me over to dinner.

I should have suspected something was up because she was so nice to me.

She and Mr. Van Heusan redid the outside of the house. Home Depot must have had a sale on gingerbread trim because the house looks like a reject from "It's A Small World".

She has a whole bunch of lawn ornaments. Plaster squirrels, bunnies, and a perky little fox. Trust my mother to introduce a predator.

There should be a rule that people with 60's ranch style houses should not be allowed to put up anything cute. They should just leave them alone and accept their mistakes,until they become fashionable again.

They were both fluttering around making sure I was comfortable until I told my mom to just come out with it.

They are closing down the store. I have two choices. Go back to the Flea Market or work in the office with them.

It was like a choice between hanging and lethal injection.

They went on and on about how sales have dropped dramatically, that they can't afford the overhead, etc. That we have to have a new positive approach, we have to believe in the products we're selling.

They didn't say anything but I have the feeling they were trying to pin the blame on me. Is it my fault they can't unload their cartful of crap?

I told them I would think about it. I said it very frostily but my mother didn't notice so I had to repeat it.

Mar 13

There is no way I'll be able to go back to the Flea Market or to the office. I'm going to have to find something else to do.

I don't want just a regular job because I'm very gifted. It would be a crime if I was stuck wasting away at a dead end job. Not just for me but for the world.

I was going to meditate, but there was a really good movie on.

Mar 14

Talents:

1. Good with people.
2. Good-lucking.
3. Funny.
4. Getting Thinner.
5. Very imaginative.
6. Unselfish.
7. Highly intelligent.
8. Understanding.
9. Creative.
10. Great sense of humor.
11. Love animals.

Skills:

Um.

Mar 15

I've got it!!!!!! It's been right in front of my face all along!

I looked over my list of my talents and realized that all of them with the exception of 1,2,4,6,8,11 all point to one area.

Writing!

I can't believe I didn't think of this before, it is soooo obvious. I write in my journal every night unless I'm really drunk so I'm very disciplined.

This will be perfect. I can go to work at the office with my mother and Mr. Van Heusan to keep money coming in until I have a best seller.

I thought my revolutionary diet web page would make me famous but I realize now that there were flaws in that plan. The first diet made me gain weight and the soup diet made me bloat and stink.

But I get it now, it was all a way for me to see my true talents.

I haven't figured out what the book is going to be about and whether I'm going to do it online but it's early days yet.

Now I know how Joan of Arc must have felt when she received her true calling.

I am soooooo excited. Good for me. I deserve it.