Mar 22

Lily phoned to invite me to my father's birthday party and I agreed to go.

I didn't mean to accept, but she caught me off guard. I'd just snagged a huge greasy ball of hair out of my bathtub drain with a crochet needle and I was so grossed out I wasn't thinking clearly.

She didn't sound particularly thrilled but it's hard to tell with her. She has a British accent that sounds posh here because we don't know any better. She probably sounds very common in Britain.

What am I going to get him? I know absolutely nothing about him other than he has very bad taste in women.

Mar 24

I've been thinking about a title for my book. I really like Jayde: Portrait of a Survivor but I don't know what she's supposed to survive yet.

I like 16 Atlantic Ave. but I don't know what that means. Maybe something will come to me when I've finished the second page.

The life of a writer is hard. No one understands the burning artistic desire. They have no idea how difficult it is to come up with ideas and thoughts-especially at work.

My Mom who has no respect for artk eeps interrupting me every five minutes with stupid stuff like "what do you mean you forgot, we asked you to pay that three months ago." or "what do you mean you locked the key inside."

I kept a very tight brave smile on my face until I couldn't take it anymore and broke the tips off all her pencils.

Mar 25

I searched the convenience store high and low but I couldn't find one single thing that would be appropriate.

It's not fair to have to go to all this trouble for a father I've only had for a few months.

I thought a clock would be a good idea because he's a time and motion expert but the only one they had gave me the creeps. It was an orange cat with the clockface in it's stomach. Even worse, it was thirty-two bucks.

I gave up and I looked through my closet to see if there were any presents I could recycle. It came down to a choice between a 3D puzzle or a gift certificate to Bretton's.

I decided on the gift certificate even though I could probably use it myself. I have no idea how that ended up in the closet. In fact I don't even remember getting it but I was frightened if I gave him the puzzle he might want us all to put it together.

I had to reapply my makeup as the first time I looked too glamorous and not like a writer at all.

Mar 26.

I don't know how I got through last night. Why does life stink?

Catherine was pleased to see me, but she's the type who's pleased to see the mailman so I didn't take it personally. Lily was remote and my father was desperately trying to make it look like we were having a good time.

(How anyone can have a good time when dinner is timed is beyond me--although I did come in second.)

Michael and Megan or M&M as they call them (Barf, barf, vomit, barf, barf, vomit) arrived late. I was glad at first to see they were out of the honeymoon phase and weren't pawing at each other, but then I noticed they had some sort of contented, relaxed thing going and for some reason that destroyed me.

I wish Megan would realize I had him first. I had him then threw him away, then took him back briefly when she had him. I just wish she knew. Maybe I could send her an anonymous note.

I looked really good in an intelligent way writerly way. I kept looking at Michael to see if he noticed how sexy I looked when I pondered questions, but he didn't even seem to notice me.

I was so glad I stashed two airplane bottles of bourbon in my purse.

It was uncomfortable during dinner when they brought up Jim. I forgot that I'd told them we were practically engaged so I had to scramble for something to say.

I was going to say I broke up with him but they'd probably think that he broke up with me. I thought of telling them that he died, which would make me seem very tragic, which is good, but they might ask for details and I'm not good at diseases.

I told them he joined the armed forces.

These people can't let anything alone, they had to know what branch of the armed forces, where is he stationed and a whole bunch of other crap. I panicked and told him that he was part of military intelligence which was a huge mistake because they'd met him.

I changed the subject and told them about my book but they had to spoil by asking a bunch of stupid questions like "what's it about?"

After dinner we sat in the family room and they started joking with one another. I think that's what they were doing because they kept laughing. They'd say something stupid and turn to me and say "Can you believe it! We're like this all the time."

YECH.

I gave my father his gift and Megan totally spoiled the touching moment by telling everyone that Bretton's went out of business two years ago.

She is such an inconsiderate bitch.

Mar 28

Jayde strode purposefully in the family room of her father's house.She looked disdainfully at her surroundings.

Marion glared, but there was nothing she could say or do. Jayde had always been the favorite. She clung desperately to Mitchell her hands like talons.

Mitchell looked longingly at Jayde. He remembered her sultry kisses and sexy murmurings. He could almost feel her tender caresses but he was drawn back to the present by Marion's fingernails digging into his arm.

Jayde's father embraced his daughter lovingly but not in a forbidden way.

He was proud and a little astonished that this child, his little girl that he thought was lost to him forever was in his home and in his heart.

"I have an announcement." All sound ceased as Jayde's low sexy purr commanded the room.

Mitchell heard the rustle of Jayde's stockinged thighs as she crossed her legs. He trembled involuntarily with desire. Regret pierced his heart and he cursed himself silently for letting the only thing that mattered to him slip out of his grasp.

He flashed back to the day of their parting as he had done so many times since they had done so.

They'd been sitting in a bistro in Montemarte. Jayde was laughing girlishly and ordering French food from the menu.

She paused to sip her wine and as so often happened she turned solemn.

"Do you ever think Mitchell, of what is out there?" Clouds flew across the landscape of her green eyes.

She looked off into the distance pondering. Mitchell memorized her profile as if he were doing what the Victorian's did when the nights were long and slow to close.

"Mitchell, I've got to experience more, there is so much out there I've to to discover what the world holds for me."

Mitchell remembered the feeling. He knew the moment the words spilled from her lips that this would be the end of them. He couldn't let her go but he had to.

Wow.That's really good. I just have to figure out a few things like what you call those Victorian profile things they used to do with a lamp and what Jayde's announcement is.

I think I've found my calling.