April 21

So weird. I was trying to figure out how to make a cast for my arm out of gauze and a mixture of flour and water (I figure if I go into the writing group with a broken arm I could draw attention away from last week) when the phone rang. It was the new guy Simon from the writing group.

He apologized for calling but he went on to say that he was horrified over what happened last week and that my talent was wasted in that group, that they don't understand genius. GENIUS, that's what he said I know it for sure because I asked him to repeat it.

Wow. You can really misjudge people. Last week I thought he was a freak but now after talking to him I realize he is a really sensitive, intelligent person.

We're going to meet for coffee!

Wow. This has really inspired me.

April 25

Silent footsteps echo in my only mind, reminding me of another place another time.

The boards long trodden accept the weight of memory. Yesterday today tomorrow-not yet.

Instant flicker: present becomes past, the boards groan.

That came to me at work today. I can't believe it. It just came like that.

I had to jot it down immediately and My mom and Mr. Van Heusan got ticked off that I wrote it on the back of his income tax form. I am so sick of being with people who don't appreciate genius.

I tried to tell my mother that one day that form could be worth something and she snapped back "It's worth something now, he's getting a refund."

She is going to be so sorry when I publish my memoirs.

Apr 28

Oh, my God, Simon is the MOST AMAZING MAN I'VE EVER MET.

Where to start, we met for coffee and we talked like we'd known each other all our lives, the coffee shop closed and he took me back to his place. IT IS SOOOOO HIP!

It's in an abandoned warehouse and he shares the apartment, sorry space with two other artists. It was sooooo cool. He had all these things hanging from the ceiling and all the mattresses were on the floor. The walls are a really deep eggplant colour and they've painted all the trim orange.

He told me all about himself and his philosophies (he's got so many I can't even remember them all!). He started to talk about my work and that he thought the last piece would make a great monologue. He said I should get a few together and put on a one woman show!

To be honest I've always thought I'd make a great actress. It comes naturally to me. When something great happens to my friends I act happy for them and when something bad happens I act sad.

This is awesome.

Apr 29

I can't stop thinking about Simon. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call him but he doesn't have a phone. Simon says that the telephone company is the last great dictator. I know he's right but sometimes I just like to chat.

May 1

My senses are so heightened. Even colours look brighter.

May 2

I phoned Irene to tell her that I would not be attending the writing group anymore. I told her that their bourgeois sensibilities were stifling my creativity. She asked me if I was drunk.

May 3

Simon stayed over last night! I was a little put out because I found out he went to the writing group but I felt better when he said he was researching.

He brought some imported beer, some Taramasalata and some bread.

I wasn't expecting him so I was a little embarrassed because my place is so--unhip, I really wish I hadn't cleaned it, it would have looked so much better with dirty ashtrays and the bed unmade but I told him that I was subletting and that made it OK.

I was little hurt because he asked if I was subletting from "Heidi" but felt better when he started to talk about my work in the context of world theater.

We drank the beer and then moved onto wine and then we kissed.

Simon is really into Tantric sex but I felt really self-conscious at first because when we stripped down to our undies, I realized that the elastic on my panties was held together with a safety pin. I don't think he noticed me taking out the pin but it kind of spoiled the moment for me. I started to really get into it after I'd finished the second bottle of wine.

It's like I've found another part of me. I feel so...fulfilled.

I don't want to jinx it but I think I'm falling in love!!