May 8

Oh this week has been a whirlwind! I've been with Simon every single night!!!!! We have so much to talk about.

The best night was actually seeing him perform! I felt a little self-conscious at first because the only "shows" I've ever seen have been shows like "Mamma Mia" and the Ice Capades so I wore a nice black dress and took a lot of time with my makeup.

Big mistake. The theatre was in an old factory and the audience had to sit on the floor. All of the other women there were either wearing Cruella De'ville make up or none at all and weird logging type gear. I stuck out like a sore thumb so I went to the washroom and scrubbed off my makeup and removed my pearl earrings. I still looked terribly suburban but once the dust from the floor got on my dress I started to fit in.

I was a little startled at first when I realized it was a clown show. Simon explained to me later that they weren't birthday party clowns they were European clowns which is much different. I'm glad he told me before I made an idiot out of myself by telling the other clowns I could get them work.

The rest of the audience was in awe, so I was too.

Simon's piece (that's what you call it, you don't call it a skit or act) involved a coat hanger and pylons. He told me later that it symbolized his mother's decision not to abort him and how that affected his decisions on the road of life.

I didn't get it at first I thought he was still setting up right up until the lights went down, but afterward it made sense to me. It was really profound.

All the other clowns really respect Simon, it felt great being the girlfriend of a legitimate performer. I kept a really cool look on my face and was careful not to appear star struck.

It was so cool!

May 10

Simon says the problem with the middle class is their mediocrity and their sheeplike behaviour and I agree.

May 11

My mom is really pissed off at me. She says I had no business accusing them of holding petty bourgeois ideals and that I shouldn't start throwing around words I don't know the meaning of.

She is such a proletariat.

May 12

Halfway in between nowhere, I reach for the stars but my hands are slapped by tradition.

Feebly I search for the exit but the chuckling maws their grasping paws tap, tap.

The air is hollow my lungs exploding with an uncried cry of freedom.

Escape is near.

Simon came over and we criticized TV all night. We laughed at the people who just don't get it.

He has a nickname for me! Hon! He called me Hon! I was in the kitchen stuffing some pita bread with some sprouts and he said "Can you get me a beer, Hon?" my neck went all prickly, Hon is short for honey! I wanted to ask him to repeat it but I thought that might ruin the moment.

I'm really falling for him.

May 14

We went to a party last night at Clay's house. Clay used to be one of Simon's best friends until he let a bathtub run over while they were roommates. Clay hasn't paid for the damage yet so he and Simon are just acquaintances. It was really coo.l Clay has 4 roommates and the place is really funky. There isn't any furniture except a kitchen table but there were thousands of candles.

There was kind of a weird moment when Simon turned off the music and started shouting. He told them they were victims of their circumstances and that their souls were shrouded in, I think he said Saran wrap, but I'm not sure.

The whole room went quiet and I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know if he was making a passionate point or if he was really drunk. They listened to him and then went back to talking as if nothing happened, so I guess it was a passionate point.

Sometimes it's hard being with a genius, but since I'm a genius too it'll be easier for me to deal with it.

May 15

Simon keeps going back to the writing group and that kind of bugs me. I feel kind of betrayed because I gave it up based on what he said. I wish I could go back, but I said such strong stuff to Irene and I feel so humiliated after the last meeting that I'd die before I went back.

I called Irene really casually, just to find out what she's been up to and to find out what's been happening in the group. She just blabbed on about writing and who said what and how they have two new members that are really neat on and on until I thought I would explode. Finally I had to ask her specifically about Simon.

She of course wanted to know why so I told her that we were seeing each other and that I think that I'm falling in love.

This was her cue to squeal and get all excited but she just said "Oh."

That's it, just "Oh." I told her all about his art and what we've been up to, I was trying to tell her all about Tantric sex but I couldn't remember a lot of the names or any of the theories and she didn't say anything.

I am so sick of having friends who don't' share my joy. Instead of wishing me the best and being happy for me they're always bringing up stupid things like the past.

I very coldly told her that I had to go and hung up before she could say anything.

10 p.m.

What does "Oh." mean?