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June 9th
He said "See
you." If you never wanted to see someone again you wouldn't say "see
you." You'd say something like we really have to talk, or,
it's not me it's you or if you don't leave me alone I'll take out
a restraining order.
Well at least
that's what they usually say to me, but Simon said see you. As
in "I'll see you." Which is what you would say to someone
if you wanted to see them.
This thing
with Sheila, well I do have an overactive imagination--that's what makes
me such a giant talent. Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion.
Simon is an artist, a free spirit. He feels the need to connect with all
human beings. No matter how tacky their jewelry is or how '80's their
hair is, he feels the need to reach out. The very worst thing I can do
is try to rein him in.
I understand
the heart of an artist.
June 10
My mother
is a freak. She is acting like her wedding is going to be the social event
of the season.
She was tittering
over the guest list with Mr. Van Heusan and they were oohing and ahhing
over floral brochures and honeymoon spots until I thought I was going
to scream.
I tapped
my pencil on the table and said "Do I have to remind you people that
this is a place of business and not a social club?"
They started
laughing like a couple of maniacs and it really pissed me off, so I gave
them a really dirty look and went back to my game of Solitaire.
I'm sick
of being the responsible one. From now on if she even asks for my opinion
(which she hasn't bothered to do because she couldn't care less in a million
years about me because she's so wrapped up in lover-boy) I'm going to
say very frostily "It's no business of mine what you do at your wedding."
and hopefully that will destroy her. If it doesn't, I'm going to add even
more frostily "keep in mind that I was at your first wedding."
That is so
good that I have to save it.
June 11
I am so happy!!
Me and Simon are OK again!!!!! (although where I got it in my head that
we weren't is totally beyond me). I bumped into him in front of his building
and he looked so happy to see me.
I looked
really, really hot. I've got a liquid-lift bra that gives me boobs that
I can rest my chin on and I got a support device that shoves the fat from
my stomach to the back and gives me a really perky butt. I was hot!
The only
awkward moment was when he asked me what I was doing in the neighbourhood.
It's hard to come up with a good reason to be strolling the streets around
abandoned factories but I had a great story. I told him I was soaking
up atmosphere for one of my pieces. I told him that I was following forces
and before I knew it I was in front of the building.
He really
got into that and we went up to his place and drank some wine and then
we did it!
It was fabulous.
I realize that I am more than just a muse to him I think my sexual powers
have cast a spell on him now that I can get into Tantric sex without snickering
out loud.
I am so happy!!
June 12
My mom has
asked me to be her Maid of Honour. I thought that was so sweet. They looked
so cute sitting there that I just couldn't resist them. It really gives
you a lift to see people so in love.
I couldn't
help but think of me and Simon. What would it be like to be married to
him? Although neither one of us believes in the institution and I pity
people who feel that they have to bow to social convention. I don't think
I'd wear white. I think I'd wear champagne.
June 14
WHEN AM I
GOING TO LEARN?
I went over
to Simon's place last night with a couple of bottles of wine and some
food. I wore the liquid lift again but something was wrong with it as
it kept veering to the left and I felt I had to compensate.
Simon seemed
really preoccupied and I wondered if he noticed that my left breast kept
slipping under my armpit. He just watched TV and drank the wine without
saying anything.
On a whim
I'd stopped into Linda's Love and Lace on the way over. I picked up some
oil called Red Devil that is supposed to be dynamite. You rub it all over
and when your lover blows on you it's supposed to get hot.
Simon loves
to experiment with different things so I thought this was a sure fire
way to secure my place in his life.
I started
nibbling at his ear but he kept waving me away it wasn't until we'd finished
the second bottle of wine that he showed the slightest interest.
I pulled
him down and seductively poured the oil all over my body, he seemed to
find that really arousing and the next thing you know we were really going
at it. It was the most passionate time we've ever experienced--and then
the phone rang.
He jumped
on it like he was a fireman and excused himself to take it in the other
room.
I was pissed
off, but I was also really curious to hear who was on the phone. I tried
to tiptoe to the door but Simon has hardwood floors that creak like mad.
I decided to crawl across the room on my hands and knees and just as I
reached the door he threw it open clocking me on the forehead and sending
me sprawling behind it.
He didn't
even ask me if I was OK. He started searching for his clothes and said
that he was sorry but something came up.
I was sitting
in the corner rather dazed and as greasy as an eel trying to think of
a graceful segue to who was on the phone. I was going to start with the
miracle of communication but he saved me the trouble by telling me who
it was.
Sheila couldn't
get her bathroom window open and she needed him to come pry it open.
I was stunned
I couldn't think of anything to say. He was almost whistling as he pulled
on his socks. I scrambled to the bed to find my clothes as he slicked
back his hair and said he would be in touch.
I am mortified.
My top and
pants are just ruined because of that oil,I felt menopausal on the bus
home whenever a breeze hit me and I've got a huge bump on my forehead.
How could
I let myself be treated like that? I am a human being and I deserve to
be treated with respect. That's it, it's over. I HATE HIM.
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