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July 27
WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
My God can it get any better than this? I just got ANOTHER
acceptance letter today.
It really
makes you wonder about that writing group. All they talked about was how
you had to go through a whole slew of rejections before you get accepted.
Shows how much they know.
When Pandora's
Box sets up my lecture tour (IF I decide to go with them) I'm going to
make damn sure that group is a whistle stop.
I really
appreciate that Y.O.U. doesn't publish garbage. I think that really shows
integrity. There is only one niggly thing that's bothering me. They changed
the title of my book--does this mean I'm going to have to struggle for
artistic control? This is all happening so fast. I'm really going to have
bounce this off Simon.
I finally
solved the bathing suit dilemma. I won't go in the water.
I am so excited
my skin is almost tingling. I'll have to get through the boring night
with Jenny and her stupid husband but it will give me time to slough off
some dead skin.
July 28
I thought
the car trip would never end. Jenny's husband talks to me like I'm a four
year old and that brat squalled all the way there. Jenny treats the kid
like it's some kind of treasure and acts like sitting next to it in the
back seat is a privilege. She freaked when it spit out it's pacifier and
I put it back in it's mouth without washing it off. Hello? This is my
responsibility?
The kid stinks
and it's sticky I don't know what she sees in him.
The cottage
smelled almost as bad as the kid, we've opened all the doors and windows
but it still smells like ears. I hope we get the smell out before Simon
comes, he is supersensitive to scents.
Jenny really
is an ingrate. She's all mad because I took the two big bedrooms while
they're all "crammed" into the little bedroom. She started yammering
on and on about there being no room for the crib, yada yada, yada.
What am I
supposed to do? Simon and I have been apart (in body but not in mind!)
for a while. I can't look like I lured him up here for a romantic weekend,
that would be pathetic. She is so insensitive!
9:00 p.m.
I went down
to the beach and watched the sunset. It was so beautiful and I bet I looked
great. Sitting staring off to into the distance contemplating all that
has happened, torn between publishing houses, trying to come to terms
with success.
I'll have
to make sure Simon sees me doing that.
July 29
5:30 A.M.
SIMON ARRIVES
TODAY!!!!
Once again
Jenny is being a complete bitch. Nitpicking, whining and complaining.
I didn't even hear half of what she was bitching about because the vacuum
was running, but I'm sure it was petty.
I figure
the best look to greet Simon with would be a kind of sleepy-tossed hair
look. I've got my terry robe which looks kind of innocent/sexy and I gave
myself a pedicure last night so my feet look great.
I'll act
kind of dozy and woozy, like I just woke up that will make me look cute/vulnerable.
10:00
a.m.
Just had
another argument with Jenny. If she wasn't our ride home I'd tell her
to leave. I just casually mentioned that she'd have to pretend that this
was a writing retreat and that she and Brian were writing a book and that
she might have to participate in a few writing exercises.
You'd think
I asked her to donate a kidney.
2:00 p.m.
I hope he
comes soon. This robe is really hot and it is so hard to keep my hair
mussed.
July 31st
I still don't
know what to make of this. I haven't been able to wrap my head around
it.
About 4 o'clock
Saturday I heard a car on the gravel. I rushed out and arrived just as
Simon was getting out.
As I was
running to hug him, a guy got out of the driver's side with a backpack.
Before I had time to absorb this someone got out of the backseat.
Sheila.
Sheila.
SHEILA. Sheila from the writing group Sheila. Sheila "oh my window
is stuck Simon can you come to help me?" Sheila.
With a sleeping
bag.
My heart
dropped to my knees.
Simon introduced
me to David and said "I believe you already know Sheila. I hope you
don't mind Jenna, but I said that it was OK for them to come up too."
What was
I supposed to say?
Jenny was
so horrified that she didn't even respond to the introductions. She just
stood there looking like she'd been hit on the back of the head with a
shovel.
They stood
in the middle of the room with their bags and Simon said "I guess
the women in one room and the men in the other!"
Sheila looked
at me as if I had cooties, which I did have last time I was here, but
there is no way she would know that. She said she'd crash on the floor
in the living room and David said that was fine with him.
I felt like
I was on auto-pilot. I found myself nodding and grinning like an idiot
I had no idea what to say or do.
Jenny was
absolutely no help at all. While she cooked dinner she was slamming pots
around so hard you'd swear she was auditioning for Stomp. I went in and
asker her to keep it down and she started raving about how they didn't
bring any food with them.
Like I don't
have enough to worry about? So what? I didn't bring any food either.
If it wasn't
for my blessed Simon, we would have eaten in complete silence. I kept
looking for signals, for something, anything to tell me if Sheila and
Simon had anything going on. Sheila was really sullen to everyone but
Simon and I noticed when she passed the salt she let her hand linger a
millisecond longer than was necessary.
After dinner
Simon started playing with Jenny's baby. He said that he just loves kids,
that he feels that they are the greatest gift life has to offer. I agreed
and suggested that we take the baby down to see the water. Jenny finally
let us take it only after I promised that Simon would look after it. I
grabbed a couple of bottles of wine on the way out and we took off.
It was soooooo
wonderful!!!! I kept gazing with a look of wonder and delight at the baby's
face and I worked up a lot of cooing noises.
He led the
kid out to the waters edge and I faked concern over the baby's safety
and then we sat and talked while I cuddled it to my breast which was kind
of gross because I was scared it would get ideas or worse gob on me.
We started
to talk and I told him about my latest acceptance letters. He was so happy
for me! He reached out and gave me a big hug! We talked about my career
and he helped me weigh my options. We narrowed it down to two: Pandora's
Box and Y.O.U. because
in all fairness I did say first come first serve in my query. I'll just
see what PB will offer in terms of payment. He was also so excited
about me creating a new art form (meta-neo-drama-parody-parody)
Simon says there aren't enough art forms now and we need more.
It was sooooo
romantic. Me and the love of my life discussing art! The sun was started
to set and I tried to do the "artist pondering" look I'd practiced
earlier but the baby farted and it took a lot away from the effect.
By this time
I'd had enough wine to ask if there was anything going on between him
and Sheila. He sighed and said he really wasn't into all this possessiveness
crap. I assured him that I wasn't either that I thought it was pathetic
the way some people felt they could own other people. I said I was just
curious.
He said that
Sheila was a nice girl but there was nothing going on anymore.
Whoo hoo
that means he's mine!!!!!! (Anymore?--never mind what's past is past--whoo
hoo!)
Just as it
was going great and I thought for sure we'd do it right there on the sand,
Jenny spoiled it by running out of the cottage.
God, you
put a kid down for two seconds to look for a corkscrew and the next thing
you know you've got an angry mother breathing fire. The kid was like 8
inches away from the water I would have noticed if it fell in.
When we went
back inside. Sheila and David were sitting like lumps on the couch so
Simon suggested we get out our work.
Sheila read
some of her work and it was pitiful, I was so happy to see that Simon
didn't say anything about it-- no one did.
She looked
eagerly at Simon after she finished. It was really embarrassing. I hate
these women who are dying for approval. I held my breath waiting for his
response. He didn't say anything! I was so happy!
I have to
admit that for a moment I felt really sorry for her. She sat down with
quickly and looked as if she was going to burst into tears. I didn't feel
sorry enough to say anything nice, but I did feel sorry.
David read
some crap he had written and Simon praised it to high heaven which would
have bugged me if he hadn't dismissed Sheila's work.
Jenny and
Brian were drinking all the way through the readings and by the time Simon
got up to read they were completely pissed. He was only halfway through
his piece "The Glycerine Odyssey" when Jenny and Brian fell
apart laughing.
Simon was
furious and stormed out. It took me, Sheila and David almost an hour to
coax him down from the tree.
After we
got him settled on the couch with a blanket, and some brandy, I
went into the kitchen and told Jenny off. I told her she had no business
saying things like that to the man I love. She must have been pretty tanked
because she said. "Jenna, will you wise up? You can be such an idiot."
Finally Simon
regained his composure. He said it had been a very stressful night, that
it would probably be best if we all turned in.
We all agreed
and started to get ready for bed. I kept trying to make eye contact with
Simon to let him know it was all right for him to come to my room but
he didn't see me.
I went into
my room and put on my sexiest nightgown. I looked soooooo hot. I waited
about an hour, and when I was sure everyone was asleep, I crept down the
hall to Simon's room.
I got to
the door and heard...sounds. Low murmers, soft laughter...
I thought
I was going to die.
I stood there
frozen I didn't know what to do. I was tempted to go in there grab her
by the hair and toss them both out when I heard a noise behind me.
It was Sheila
moving around in her sleep.
On the floor.
In the living
room.
By herself.
Oh my God.
What does this mean?
New to Jenna's Diary?
You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
Well that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
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