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Jenna's
Diary appears every
Friday.
Nov
23
I
made a few calls at
work to find out how
long it would take
me to become a doctor
and it doesn't look
good.
My
nosy mother had her
big ears flapping
and I'm sure she heard
even though I was
almost whispering.
She started dusting
my cactus (even though
it's been dead for
four months and I've
been waiting for her
to nag me about it.)
After I hung up she
asked me very casually
who I was talking
to. In
the sternest tone
I could muster I told
her it was none of
her business.
She
spent the day humming
and at one point said
I looked very nice
in violet.
Oh,
please.
Nov
24
Well,
it was quite a day!
Jeff came over at
2 o'clock with his
nephew. His sister
had an emergency so
Jeff volunteered to
babysit.
I
was really let-down
because there is no
way you can have the
kind of fun I had
in mind with a slobbering
infant. I didn't let
Jeff know I was disappointed
because in a way it
was like I was auditioning
for my future role
as wife and mother.
I
squealed with delight
and insisted on holding
the kid.
It
was the weirdest looking
thing I've ever seen.
It has a head shaped
like a teardrop and
has close-set beady
eyes. I don't know
if it's jaw muscles
are fully formed because
it's mouth hung open
as if the hinge was
broken.
Yuck.
I asked Jeff who the
child resembled and
he had to think about
it. I had my hands
clenched so that he
couldn't see my fingers
were crossed on both
hands. I was praying
that he wouldn't say
his sister because
after all, if things
keep going the way
they have been going
we could own one of
these someday and
I really had to know
what I was getting
into to.
After
examining the kid's
face for a while he
decided that the kid
looked like it's father.
I
was so relieved I
hugged it.
Jeff
is really good with
it. He uses phrases
like 'blankie' and
'moo-toy' and fed
the kid applesauce
like a pro.
I
made a pretty impressive
showing. I oohed,
I ahhed, I gooed ,
I gaahed and expressed
delight when it clapped
it's hands and said
"Dahhhhhhhhh".
(Big deal) I even
laughed when the kid
peed all over my couch.
Jeff seemed pleased.
A
tricky moment came
when he asked me to
take a look at a rash
on the kid's leg.
I made a big show
of examining it and
was going to say that
it looked like the
kid had shingles (it
was the first thing
that popped into my
head)-instead, I tried
to think of what a
real doctor would
say. I said it looked
like a rash and recommended
he take the kid to
his own doctor. Jeff
seemed satisfied.
I
know I have to tell
the truth but the
time just hasn't been
right. Maybe if I
give it a couple of
weeks--by that time
he will have fallen
in love with me and
my little fib won't
matter. Sheesh.
We
had a wonderful day
and it was kind of
neat to bring out
my maternal side.
I'm
going to have to get
my couch steam cleaned.
Nov
25
Christmas
is exactly one month
today. If things keep
going the way they
are going (please,
please, please, please)
I will have a boyfriend
for Christmas!
It
would be so nice to
spend the holiday's
with someone you care
for. (I must be maturing
because I didn't say
the "L"
word although it's
what I mean.)
I
think of Christmas
Eve. Jeff and I sipping
wine in front of the
fireplace--OK I don't
have a fireplace but
I could put a lot
of candles on the
bookcase and if would
look like a fireplace.
Maybe we'd go to a
church for a midnight
service and stroll
home hand in hand
while the snow falls
around us.
Christmas
morning we'd wake
up and exchange presents.
I'm a realist. I know
that you get practical
gifts when you've
only been dating six
weeks but even if
it's an oven mitt,
I'll know that if
society hadn't stopped
him he would have
given me something
I really liked. We'd
open our presents
in front of the tree.
And then---maybe he'd
go to my mom's place
with me? It's too
early in the relationship
to ask. Damn I wish
I'd met him late September
then it would be acceptable.
Oh, well at least
it won't be like last
year.
11:00
I got an email
from Stanley. He said
he could hardly wait
until I got back from
Aruba so that we could
meet. This guy is
gorgeous. I was going
to write back that
I was involved with
someone else and that
it was going pretty
well, but I'm supposed
to be in Aruba right
now and besides, this
guy is gorgeous. What
if God forbid, knock
wood, fingers-crossed,
things don't work
out between me and
Jeff? I'd have to
get on with my life
and I might as well
do it with someone
who looks like George
Clooney.
Nov
28th
Jenny
is a mess. Tim stopped
calling her and she
is really upset. She
asked me if I would
ask Jeff what was
going on and I said
I'd try to find out.
I
felt bad for her but
honestly I could see
it coming. Ever since
she broke up with
Brian she has been
completely man-crazy.
She had a few weeks
after the break-up
where she was extremely
popular and sought
after but I knew it
was just a fluke.
I
tried to comfort her
by telling her that,
but she is pretty
irrational right now.
Then she started bawling
about being alone
for Christmas and
I told her to get
a hold of herself.
I said "Jenny,
this isn't 1950, a
woman isn't a freak
if she doesn't have
a boyfriend! You've
got to learn to stand
on your own two feet.
You don't need a man
to define you."
It
didn't seem to be
the time to tell her
all the places Jeff
and I had gone and
all the fun we'd had
so I only told her
half of it. She said
she hates being single
and misses Brian and
her old life.
Jenny
is kind of selfish.
She moves from catastrophe
to catastrophe and
her friends are left
to pick up the pieces.
First of all, she
didn't have a date
to the graduation
dance, then 12 years
later her husband
leaves her. It's nonstop.
Nov
27
Simon
called me!!!!!! SIMON!
Oh, my God. I was
busy doing laundry
and trying to memorize
medical terms when
the phone rang.
It
really took me my
surprise. He said
he'd been thinking
about me and just
called to say "Hi."
It
was so weird hearing
his voice after all
this time. He said
he missed me and would
love to get together
with me for coffee.
I
told him all about
Jeff and how happy
I was and he said
he was happy for me.
Then he said there
was nothing wrong
with a couple of old
friends having coffee
was there?
Gosh
I don't know. In one
way I really want
to rub in how fantastic
my life is, but in
another way I want
to snub him.
If
I snub him I don't
get to see the pain
in his face.
I
said I'd think about
it.
Wow, what is going
on. I couldn't get
a date to save my
life three weeks ago
and now there are
men crawling out of
ears!
Is
it because I've finally
come into my own?
Perhaps I project
an air of confidence
which can be very
alluring. In any case
I'm so happy I could
spit!
New to Jenna's Diary?
You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
Well that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
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