Jenna's Diary appears every Friday
Dec
1
Gosh
I miss Jeff! He works so hard poor baby so we hardly
get any time to spend together. We only saw each other
twice last week which was five times less than I wanted
to.
This
could be the big one. When I'm not with him all I do
is think about him. There is so much I don't know! I
haven't even been to his home yet! Usually by this time
I would have at least have left earrings at his place,
which is my alternative to peeing all over his stuff
to mark territory. I did leave a grocery receipt in his
car but it just isn't the same.
I
do know where he lives vaguely. I've thought about taking
the bus to scout it out, but I don't want to miss his
call. The only way I can get in contact with him is to
page him because he's on the road all the time. Paging
just isn't the same thing. You can't page someone just
to say "hi" or "I'm not wearing any underpants!"
because if they are in a meeting you feel like a goon.
It'll
be better next month. He said December is his busy time
which is understandable coming as it does at holiday
time so I'll have to be patient and wait until things
calm down a bit for him.
Like
an idiot I told him December was my busy time too. He
looked surprised and said "Gynecologists have busy
times?"
Argh.
Luckily I was thinking fast and told him that yes, due
to holiday stress a lot of women ruptured their ovaries.
That was a close call.
I've
got to tell him the truth, this has gone on too long
but when your time is reduced to a very few precious
hours, who wants to spend that time clearing up all the
lies you've told?
God
I miss him!
Dec
3
Simon
called again! When I was waiting for him to call he didn't,
and now that I could not care less I can't get him away
from me. Wearily, (it was very weary, probably the weariest
I ever sounded) I told him that I would meet him for
coffee on Wednesday. Fifteen minutes that's it.
He
sounded so grateful that is was kind of pathetic.
Dec
4
Jeff
came over for a few hours after work. He was barely across
the threshold before I mauled him. It was great--although
Mrs. Lewis across the hole bolted and unbolted her door
four times and I as dragged him in I'm sure I heard her
say "guttersnipe".
It was sooooooo passionate! Oh my God!!!!!
Afterwards,
we just lounged around in bed sipping wine and cuddling.
I brought up Jenny and asked Jeff why Tim wasn't calling
her anymore. Jeff said that Tim felt that Jenny was going
a little too fast for him. She wanted a relationship,
while he just wanted them to have a good time.
Jeff
then went on a rant about "What is it with some
women? They date a guy a couple of times and all of a
sudden they want a commitment." I told him that
I didn't know, and I don't. Maybe they aren't as secure
as me.
It
was so wonderful just lying snuggled up next to him.
Lying in his arms I feel like I'm home--oh speaking of
home, there was a tricky moment- Jeff asked me when my
house would be ready.
For the life of me I didn't know what he was talking
about. I was about to say "what house?" when
I realized I'd I told him I was only living here temporarily
while my house was being...(I couldn't remember if I
told him it was being built or renovated) so I just said
"fixed up." (I'm going to have to keep a notebook.)
I
said that the contracter is running behind schedule.
I don't know why, but I had to elaborate. I said that
the house was supposed to have been ready in October
blah, blah, blah, that I was sure the contracter was
cheating me, blah, blah, blah, that he speaks to me as
if I'm a an idiot just because I'm a woman, blah, blah,
blah--then Jeff said. "Give me his number, I'll
sort this out for you I've had a lot of experience in
this area. Jenna, you can't go on living in this dump."
( Ouch.)
When
will I learn to keep my big trap shut?
Also,
it was the absolute perfect time to come clean
but just as I was about to, his pager went off and he
had to go.
Oh,
God. Why does love have to be so difficult?
Dec
5
I
met Simon for coffee at Java Joe's. I looked fantastic
and he looked terrible.
I
sat down and said "fifteen minutes, that's it."
He told me how great I looked (true) how terrific it
was to see me and how much he missed me.
I
told him I was seeing someone and that the relationship
was really progressing. I told him how goodlooking Jeff
is, how much fun we have together, what he does for a
living, how I've never been happier with a man.
Simon
looked crushed, so I continued.
When I finished, he looked at me wistfully and said he
was glad that I was so happy, that I deserved it.
He
asked me if I was still writing and I have to admit I
felt a pang. I've been so busy that I forgot all about
my career. I thought quickly and told him that I was
almost finished my book. ( I didn't want Simon to think
that I was stifled creatively without him.)
He
told me that he broke up with David. Evidently David
was cheating on Simon with another woman. (Bwaaahaaahaaahhhaa!
Now he knows how it feels!) He said it destroyed him
at first but he'd been doing some thinking and he realized
that the thing with David was experimental that in looking
over his life he...
I
missed a lot of this because I was calculating the number
of calories in the carrot cake, but my ears perked up
when it came to:
"...
and I realize that the only person who ever meant anything
to me was you Jenna, you're the only one."
If
he'd said those words two months ago I would have dissolved
in his arms. Instead I ordered the carrot cake.
Dec
6
What
is going on? I received another email from Stanley. Gorgeous
Stanley. In it he asked if I'd returned from Aruba. I
emailed him back to say that I'd decided to stay two
more weeks.
I
don't think I'm cheating on Jeff by doing this. This
is just a safety net.
Am
I hot or what? I can't believe this. I AM SO HAPPY!
