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Jenna's
Diary appears every Friday
Dec
27th
Montego
Bay, Jamaica
It
seemed like such a good idea at the time. I crammed a whole
bunch of stuff into a suitcase and headed out to the airport
determined to leave on the first available flight to anywhere.
I picked Jamaica because I figured it would be warmer than
Detroit or Whitehorse.
The
driver at the airport coincidentally knew someone who owned
a hotel and was able to get me a special rate. It was only
after I checked in that I realized I was the only guest. I
came for fun in the sun, instead I'm stuck sitting by the
pool by myself. I could've saved a whole whack of money if
I'd just taken a bottle of bourbon into the bathtub.
This
is the most beautiful country I've ever seen and I'm hating
ever moment of it.
The
staff is really nice though. They woke me up yesterday when
I fell asleep by the pool after drinking six Calico Cocktails
and brought me aloe vera to keep my face from falling off
from sunburn.
I
rely on the kindness of strangers.
Dec
28
I
must cut quite a tragic figure sitting alone bearing my pain
stoically. Although they haven't said so, I think the staff
admires my bravery. Sometimes when I can sense they are looking
I stare out at the ocean and sigh.
The
staff is so easy to talk to. In fact I've done nothing but
talk to them. Sometimes I don't understand all of what's being
said to me and I think sometimes they don't understand me
because they'll walk away in the middle of a sentence sometimes,
but friendship can overcome all barriers. Because I'm super
sensitive I can often tell what they are saying by the way
they say it.
I told them all about what Jeff did and Frieda the housekeeper
says I've got to be strong that no man is worth all this pain
she said "dat man a ginnal" and even though I don't
know what that means I'm sure it's not good, but Meech the
front desk clerk said "Yuh too labba-labba, no badda
bawl im soon come back" and Gray said "Mi cyan help
yuh wit dat problem."
As
far as my early years I'm only up to the Beautiful Chrissy
fiasco but I hope to bring them up to speed by the end of
the week.
They
are the only true friends I've ever had.
Dec
30th
I
called home to check my messages and there was one from Jeff.
My hand was shaking as I listened to him. He said he is very
upset over what has happened and needs to talk to me.
Upset? Good! I hope dies! What a bastard! The lying sneaking
conniving bastard. If I had him in front of me I would shake
him until his teeth rattled. I'd shake him and shake him and
when I was done I'd push him backward.
Why
didn't I see it coming with him? All those late nights, never
taking me to his place, not having his home phone number--why
was I so stupid? Of course he has a wife. Why would I think
that for once in my whole entire life things were going right.
I am the biggest loser on the planet. Every thing I try fails,
everything I touch turns to dust.
Dec
31st
I
want to go home. This is the going to be the worst New Year's
Eve I've ever spent and that includes the time Andy dumped
me at 12:04 three years ago.
The hotel planned to have a big New Year's Extravaganza with
a seafood buffet and a reggae band but nobody bought tickets
except me.
Luke, the hotel manager, came to my room at noon and said
that as I was the only one coming to the New Year's Extravaganza
that maybe they should just cancel it. He kind of laughed
and said he was sure I didn't want to spend the evening with
just the staff and a hundred pounds of seafood. He said he
would buy me a ticket to the bash at Couples resort instead.
Yeesh,
that's the last place I'd want to be. I thought that was so
sweet. I smiled and told him no, I'd prefer to attend the
New Year's Extravaganza. If I was going to have a lousy New
Year's Eve, I might as well bring it in with friends.
I touched his hand and I think he was embarrassed by my sincere
outpouring of affection because he pulled his hand away and
gave me a funny look.
I
guess they get a lot of boorish North Americans and aren't
used to meeting kind, genuine people. I'm glad I can show
him the other side of the coin.
I almost feel like an North American Ambassador.
Jan
1st 2002
The
first day of a New Year, a fresh start, a chance to pick up
the shattered pieces of my life.
Last
night wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! Once
again I got through it. I am a true survivor. Sometimes I
envy myself.
As
I was getting ready last night to go to the party I decided
that emotionally I just wasn't up to it. I took two travel
sick tablets and was sound asleep by 10:00.
When
I woke up this morning I felt a sense of calm. I have the
feeling everything is going to be all right after all.
I
have to prepare myself before meeting my friends downstairs.
I know there is something terribly sad and tragic about someone
spending New Year's Eve all alone in a hotel room in a strange
country and I'm sure they are worried about me, but I'm frightened
if they show too much emotion I will just dissolve. I want
to be brave, I don't want to cry anymore.
12:00
What
is up with people? Am I the only sane person in the universe?
When I went downstairs I went to the front desk and told Luke
and Meech not to worry I was O.K. in fact I felt rather cheerful.
Meech just kind of sucked her teeth and stared and Luke gave
me a look that would freeze water.
When
I ordered breakfast I told Jacqueline that I was really hungry
because I didn't have any dinner last night. I thought she'd
be pleased because all week long she's been saying "Yuh
too craven, how yuh nyam so much?" which I took to mean
she was worried about me starving.
Instead
she gave me a dirty look and when she returned with the food
she almost threw it at me.
I
sought out Gray to tell him I was feeling much better and
he said "Gwey, lef mi nuh" and walked away.
????
Maybe they're enablers.
Jan.
2nd
I checked my messages and there was one from my mother and
Mr. Van Heusan. They were singing! They sang Happy New Year
To You to the tune of Happy Birthday.
Come
to think of it - they don't even know I'm in Jamaica. I've
been, for all intents and purposes a missing person for over
a week and no one except Jeff has noticed! What does that
say about my life?
In
cases where someone is kidnapped they say the first 48 hours
is the most crucial. The families usually go on television
holding a picture of their missing loved one. They cry and
send out messages that they love the person. In my case my
mother would probably go and TV, hold up her own 8x10 and
act like she was Star Search.
If
I was dead, they'd feel pretty stupid about now.
Jan
4th
The
staff still has this really weird attitude. At first I tried
to be understanding but enough is enough. I am after all a
paying guest.
The
first thing I did was mention to Jacqueline that no one eats
Callaloo and Saltfish, boiled banana dumplings, and fried
plantain for breakfast.
Secondly
I mentioned to Luke that there was something strange in the
water. Every time I took a swim I would end up with all this
gritty stuff all over me.
He
asked me if I would like him to sift the salt out of the ocean
for me and I told him that wasn't necessary.
Well,
at least he's trying.
Jeff
has left a message every day begging me to call him back.
What
a loser.
January
6th
I
got my hair braided and now I can't fully blink. I'm sure
the staff is laughing at me.
January
7th
Jeff
phoned again, while I enjoy him crawling I wish he'd just
go away. Every time I hear his voice I spend the rest of the
day thinking about him. I try and try but I just can't get
him out of mind. My heart is broken.
January
8th
I
don't know why if I'm the only one staying at this hotel why
I have to use the plastic shark's teeth as currency. I feel
really stupid sitting by the pool by myself wearing big chunks
of plastic around my neck.
January
11th
Oh
my God!
Jeff
called again and he sounded very angry.
He
said that I was not being fair that I never gave him a chance
to explain. He said I jumped to a conclusion too fast. He
said that he and his wife are separated and if I'd bothered
to return his call I would have known that.
Separated--?
I didn't think of that. Separated? That didn't even cross
my mind.
Well.
Although
I'm a little angry that he didn't tell me he had a wife in
the first place this puts a whole new face on things.
I'm
going home!
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