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Jenna's
Diary appears every Friday
March
18
A
kid.
He's
got a kid.
That
lousy no good lying b*stard. That ratfaced "nephew"
that he kept bringing over was actually his son. Oh my God.
Why
does everything have to happen to me? Figures that everyone
completely ignores by excellent multimedia presentation but
their ears are all flapping when big fat-mouthed Kitty announces
that she is Jeff's wife's best friend and that her daughter
is in play group with his lousy kid. Yeah, that they can hear.
Rosemary,
Kitty's mother, looked like a carp when she heard. Her eyeballs
boinging out of her head her mouth opening and closing. Jeff
was no help. He got that nervous laugh people get when they're
trying to smuggle sausages across the border.
The
same people who couldn't keep their traps shut through my
beautiful and poignant presentation were suddenly struck dumb
so all you could hear was Rosemary saying "Jenna, did
you know your fiance was married and had a son!"
I
thought quickly, slapped Jeff's face said "How dare you"
and left the reception.
Jeff
followed me out (as did half the wedding) and tried to talk
to me but I was so humiliated I ran away.
There
was a bus stop at the end of the parking lot and luckily (or
so it seemed) a bus was coming and I hopped on. Too bad I'd
left my coat and my purse at the reception hall. I tried to
explain to the driver but he made me get off at the next stop.
It
was a hell of a walk home.
March
19
So
far today I've eaten a pint of mint chocolate chip ice-cream
followed by a quart of root beer. For lunch I had six twizzlers
and two glasses of wine. I don't know what I'm going to have
for dinner but I'm pretty sure it will be take-out.
How
could he do this to me? How am I going to live my life without
him? For the past few months every thought I've had about
the future involved Jeff. I am heartbroken. I thought Jeff
was the man for me. I love him so much and he betrays me!
I'll never get over this. Never, never, never, never.
I
know now I shall die alone.
I
just hope it comes quickly.
March
20
Jeff's
been phoning non-stop. I just can't talk to him, I can't.
I can't believe that he would lie to me! Well I can believe
it, because he originally lied about being married but at
that time I was lying too so it didn't seem so bad but now
I haven't lied about anything - well except for telling everyone
he is my fiance but that's just a little lie compare to his
whopper.
My
mother thank God is on her honeymoon, so it's safe to go to
work. I might do that tomorrow, I've been too heartbroken
the past few days to do anything but cry and eat. I guess
I could do that at work but it would mean getting dressed
and I don't think I'm up to it.
March
21
Oh,
God. I am so torn. I'm not sure if I'm ecstatic or furious.
Why can't things happen the way they are supposed to?
I
was sitting down to dinner, and no sooner had I poured the
cereal when I heard a knock.
It
was Jeff.
Jeff with a suitcase.
"I can't live my life without you Jenna, I've left my
wife."
Two
months ago - hell a week ago I would have done handsprings
but now...
I
told him he had a hell of a nerve showing up on my doorstep
after lying to me, humiliating me in front of my family and
friends. I screamed, I cried I pummeled his chest until I
was completely worn out.
Jeff
said the reason he didn't tell me was he didn't want to scare
me off (damn right). He didn't think I was the maternal type
(completely not true- I would be a terrific mother, I just
would prefer a fresh kid) and that he was frightened of losing
me. He said it destroyed him to lie but after a while he was
in so deep he didn't know what to do. He said he told Kathy
that it was over between them and that if I didn't want want
to be with him he understood.
I
know what to do if I start a grease fire. I know what to do
if I spill nail polish on my coffee table - life taught me
how to solve these problems. Nothing has prepared me for this.
I
quickly went over my options. Life alone. Life with Jeff.
He
had more than a suitcase with him it took five trips to empty
his car.
This
isn't how I imagined it would be.On one hand the man I want
to spend my life with is now living here. On the other hand
he lied to me!
Why
isn't anything simple?
Oh
my God. Does this mean I'm a mom?
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