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Jenna's
Diary appears every Friday
March
29
My
mom came back from her honeymoon today. God, she's full of
herself. "We did this, we did that, we went here, we
went there..." I pretended I was interested for about
five minutes but it got too boring so I started to hum. Of
course she can't fathom that anyone would not find her life
completely fascinating so she went on the attack and had a
go at me for not watering her plants or picking up the mail
when they were gone.
Good
God! They were only in Niagara Falls! How am I supposed to
remember absolutely every little thing she tells me?
Then to add insult to injury she said "Jenna, are you
OK? Rosemary told me about that fellow." (Of course she
would. Her fingers were probably on fire waiting to dial the
telephone. ) "She told me that he was married - what
an awful way to find out, in front of all those people at
the wedding! Why didn't you come to me, dear?" (Maybe
because you were all wrapped up in YOURSELF that day and then
took off with what's his name on a holiday? Yeah, thanks for
being there.) "What kind of man would lie about being
married especially when a child is involved. Well good riddance
to bad rubbish, I hope you are coping all right honey."
It
didn't seem the right time to tell her about my new life,
but I had to do some kind of damage control so that she wouldn't
completely stroke out when she found out Jeff and I are living
together.
I
told her that Jeff had been married but he'd been separated
from his wife for ages. (OK maybe a little white lie. It's
only been about two weeks but it's all relative. Two weeks
is a worm's lifespan.)
"Jenna,
that's not what Kitty, Rosemary's daughter heard. She said
that he was still living with her when he attended the wedding
and that once Kitty told his wife she threw him out."
What?
I was furious! I asked her who she was going to believe -
her lifelong friend or me? I told her that Kitty just could
not stand to see me happy that she's always been jealous of
me. What kind of grown woman has the name Kitty anyway? On
and on crying, screaming - I was even able to get in a shot
about my sixth birthday where she promised me a party but
instead took me roller-skating.
She
tried to calm me down saying she didn't have all the facts
she was only going on what she heard, that she was only looking
out for my welfare, but I was too upset to listen and hung
up the phone.
What
kind of mother listens to the word of a stupid busybody over
her daughter? I am wounded to the soul. She flaunts her happiness
in my face and then when I'm grasping the tiniest bud off
the happiness tree she takes a chainsaw to it.
8
p.m.
His
wife threw him out? He said that he left her because he was
in love with me!
Oh,
my God.
March
30
I
had intended to bring up the matter very calmly after dinner.
I thought we'd have a glass of wine and I'd say "Honey,
I heard something today that rather disturbed me."
Instead
the minute I heard his key in the lock I asked him what the
hell was going on.
He
said "The most important thing is we're together Jenna.
Does it really matter who asked the other to leave?"
I
told him YES. Yes it does!!! I thought this was a Duke and
Duchess of Windsor thing not a Salvation Army shelter for
the homeless!
"Well
I can see Jenna we've got some problems here. I though you
loved me for me but instead it's all about "winning"
to you. You see me as a conquest not as a life partner. I
could tell you the truth about what happened, that I left
Kathy because I loved you but I'm not so sure I want to now
that I've seen what motivates you."
Oh,
God.
I
asked him how he could possibly think that of me? What kind
of shallow person does he think I am? It is not about winning
to me it's about being with the man I love. We talked for
hours and it was such a relief to strip everything to the
bare bones. To finally reveal the true nature of our relationship,
two people deeply in love with no ulterior motives.
I
am so happy.
And,
he left her for me! She didn't throw him out!
Whoo
hoo! I won over a Gwyneth Paltrow clone! Whoo hoo!
April
3rd
Wow,
I think I'll look back on these days as the happiest ones
of my life - well until I win the Pulitzer or an Academy award
- but even then I'll remember these days fondly.
There
is something so exciting about a fresh start! New love, new
apartment, new life!
My
landlord wasn't as enthusiastic. He was ticked off because
I gave him 27 days notice instead of the required 60 days
but what can he do? He can't chain me to the rad.
I've
been taking inventory and realize that most of the stuff I
have just won't fit in at Forest Heights. Sure the sofa was
funky when I bought it for ten bucks at a tag sale but purple
plaid just isn't me anymore. Same thing with the hula girl
lamps. Goodwill is coming to pick the stuff up along with
about 20 boxes of junk I've been saving over the years. I
feel like a weight has been lifted from me!
April
4th
I
thought Jeff would be thrilled when the stuff was gone but
instead he asked me what the hell I did with the furniture.
I
told him that a new start needs new furniture. He then rambled
on about expenses, child support and so on. It was really
depressing. I told him I did it for him and went into the
bedroom to sulk.
I
really should have kept the bed. It's hard to keep up a sulk
for long on parquet.
I
feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I'm
deliriously happy and the next I'm completely desolate. If
I wasn't so emotionally stable I would doubt my sanity.
It's
probably like this for most couples especially those who had
to beat the odds like we've had to. Wallis Simpson probably
had a few bad days before they were exiled. I'm sure when
they write my biography people will see the romance. "She
was scorned and marginalized in order to be with the man she
loved." Then something about the whole deal improving
my art.
When
you look at it in that light I'm getting a "twofer"
love of my life and better art.
Yes,
this is going to work out just fine.
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