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Jenna's
Diary appears every Friday
April
5
We
are having Jeff's kid for the weekend!!! Yikes!
It's
weird. When I thought it was Jeff's nephew I didn't feel the
need to bond but now that I'm his step-mother-to-be I have
a big responsibility. The life of a child, a young fresh mind
is in my hands. I'm going to have to really make a strong
attempt. To prepare for this I scanned a couple of book liners
on child rearing. Thank God it looks pretty easy.
We've
been furniture shopping looking for stuff that will fit in
the new place. Jeff is in love with Ikea. He loves everything
about it and figures the Swedes really have everything worked
out. He loves the arrows on the floor, the free paper tape
measures and is blown away by their prop computers and TV
screens.
I
headed right for the living room furniture but Jeff insisted
we find a bed for the kid first. I found a perfectly suitable
foldaway but of course Jeff wanted the super- deluxe bunk
bed/play station/home office Cadillac of kid's beds. He's
throwing away money like a drunken sailor on someone who's
too young to appreciate it. I just hope he's as generous when
it comes to our stuff.
The
bed took us ages to put together and looks really stupid in
my living room. In the olden days kids used to sleep in bureau
drawers and they turned out all right. I don't know why we
couldn't get our own bed first I'm really sick of the sleeping
bags.
I have to stop calling the baby "it." Jeff is pretty
picky about that. It's name is Dylan.
April
7
I
had my first "play date". Jeff got called into work
and was going to take the kid back to it's mother but I told
him I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. He seemed
a little hesitant at first . He said it wasn't anything personal
but I didn't have that much experience with children. I told
him I'd call Jenny and that seemed to put his mind at ease.
Jenny and I arranged to meet at the park so that her kid Tyler
and Dylan could play. It was a little hinky getting him there
because even though I've researched this there is always the
chance you'll get it's head stuck in something or leave it
on a bus but thankfully we got there OK.
Sheesh.
A play date sounds like it would be fun but it isn't. First
of all for someone who's been a mother for over a year Jenny
is doing it all wrong. I watched her deal with her kid for
a bit and told her that she shouldn't be praising him so much
because it will create a dependency. I told her my theory
is that since he won't find the same sort of praise anywhere
else his performance will be low. I went on to tell her that
that was probably why he was so slow. Jenny who has never
been able to take criticism, immediately went on the attack.
"How dare you tell me how to raise my child? What do
you know about parenting anyway? Dylan isn't even wearing
a coat! You've got him upside down in the child carrier and
twice you left him alone on the park bench!" Really petty
stuff.
I
guess time will tell. When Dylan is a successful brain surgeon
and Tyler is weaving baskets I hope she looks back on this
day.
April
9
I've
started to take notes because I think I might write a book
on parenting. Pandora's Box is still waiting for my memoirs
but this might be easier since you don't have to make up characters
and scenery and stuff.
Jeff
and I will have to come to some agreement over parenting styles.
He is much too soft with Dylan. The minute the kid cries,
Jeff rushes in to change him or feed him. I feel a schedule
is very important and you shouldn't let the kid determine
it. If you schedule feedings and changings at regular intervals
then the child will soon adapt. Also I think the hours between
7 p.m. - 7 a.m. should be "parent time" but Jeff
doesn't agree.
He
also overrates Dylan's achievements. For instance, Dylan said
"saush." Jeff was ecstatic that the kid was asking
for applesauce but I disagreed. He didn't actually say "applesauce"
and I think Jeff should withhold recognition until he gets
it right. Like Jenny, Jeff gets very defensive when he is
being criticized. I tried to explain that it is for the good
of the child but he wouldn't listen.
Overall
it was a pretty informative weekend. I'm just worried that
when he goes back to his mother Kathy will undo all the good
I've done.
April
11
Work
has been going pretty rough. I'm still not speaking to my
mother and that's pretty hard when you share an office. When
I have to communicate with her I write post its and stick
them on her phone. Once I move to the new place I'm definitely
getting a new job.
In
a way it's better that we don't speak because I'm sure I'll
slip up and say something about Jeff living with me. I don't
really care what she thinks but I certainly don't want to
hear about it. I know I will have to mention moving because
I'll need an advance on my pay, but until then I'm freezing
her out.
Jenny
is still bent out of shape because of the playground. I called
Irene to tell her about it and she agrees with me that Jenny
can't take criticism. Irene is mad at her for canceling dinner
plans on short notice so we talked about all the bad things
Jenny has done and it cheered me up a little.
Irene
has been taking a interior design course at night school and
is in the process of redecorating her house. I told her I
was moving too and she was ecstatic because now we can go
furniture shopping together. That's going to be a riot! We'll
have so much fun I just know we will.
She
is still not keen on Jeff. Even though she hasn't said anything
I can tell. Thank goodness she is such a fabulous friend she
has the good sense to keep her opinions to herself. I know
once she gets to know Jeff she'll change her mind.
It
made me feel a lot better to talk with her. I've been feeling
a little lonely lately even though I've been living with Jeff.
I guess it's true the bold and the brave have to go through
periods of isolation. We also have to face periods where we
are scorned and marginalized. History has taught me that.
It's sort of a cross to bear for being a true original. We
have to rely on our nobility of spirit and inner courage to
get us through times of adversity.
Sometimes
though, you just want to have a good gossip.
Yeah,
things are going to be just fine I can feel it in my bones.
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