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Jenna's
Diary
Sept
6
I reviewed my
list of Priorities:
- Straighten
out my mother's financial troubles and then maybe ship her off to a home.
- Devote my
life to the Word.
- Find out
what exactly it is I'm supposed to be doing at work and apply myself, because
idle hands are the devil's something or other.
- I'm not going
to waste time on petty squabbles and I'm going to love my fellow man.
- I'm going
to find a stable relationship. I think this time I'll go for a guy who likes
me back.
- I'm going
to phone all the friends I've wronged and apologize.
- I'm going
to join a church.
- I'm going
to dye my hair.
Sept 7
My
friends are all losers and sinners. I decided to take out my phone book and
apologize to anyone I might have wronged and ask their forgiveness.
I
only got to the B's. I phoned Jenny and apologized for stealing her boyfriend
last year. Well it turns out she didn't know that I had done that.
Then
I phoned Eileen to apologize for talking about her behind her back---well
she didn't know about that either.
It
kind of went on like that until I got a headache so I asked the Lord for forgiveness
instead it was so much easier.
Sept
8
My
first day back at work. Yeeeeccccchh. Mr. Van Heusan was sitting there looking
like a cocker spaniel as usual.
I
told him that we had to have a meeting. He got all flustered and started to
make excuses, but it didn't wash. Since I've worked here he has done nothing
but unbend paper clips and sigh.
Finally
he scheduled the meeting for 4:00 which wasn't good for me I had a hair appointment
so we had the meeting at 2:00.
He
was soooo nervous. He started the meeting by saying that if I wanted a raise
I could only have 10 percent. That's it, that's all he could afford. We haggled
a bit until I got 17 percent and then I told him the purpose of the meeting.
I
asked him to tell me in detail the following: 1: the company's name, 2:what
did it produce, 3:What exactly was I supposed to be doing.
I
told him I was Christian now and felt that I had to make a contribution to
society.Then he really threw me for a loop. He started to cry.
I
tried to shut him up and get back to the point put he wept until he was just
heaving dry sobs.
He
asked me how I had found the Lord, that he felt so lost that he has been spirituality
starving.
I
didn't want to say that I found the Lord in a pick up truck when I was hitchhiking
to get lice remedy so I lied and told him it came to me in a dream.
He
took my hand and asked me to explain my religion.
Well
with all the unpacking and phoning since my vacation I hadn't had time to
get all the details. I'd spilled Snapple on the pamphlet so I had to throw
it away so I had absolutely nothing to go on.
I
finally just told him religion was a very personal thing. Which was good because
he couldn't grill me.
He
went on this long rambling thing about how his father-in-law set him up in
business but had so little respect for him he wouldn't even tell him what
the business was for. Mr. Van Heusan said he suspects it's some kind of tax
shelter and that it was tearing at his very soul to be living such an empty
existence.
All
I could think was, why is everyone I know on a ledge?
He said it was great to finally unburden himself and he talked and talked
until I left for my hair appointment.
He
walked me to the door and gave me a huge hug. I was debating whether or not
to mention sexual harassment but I was running late.
Sept
9
My
hair looks awesome. (Thanks be to God.) They repaired the damage I did with
the nail scissors and gave me these amazing highlights. Really cool plum streaks
with a bit of burgundy offset by some copper. It's kind of like having a disco
ball shining over my head all the time.
I
was feeling terrific until I got home and saw the sisters in sorrow, Aimee
and my Mom sitting on the couch like two melted candles.
I
wasn't going to ask them what was wrong because my hair looked too great but
my mom
pulled me aside to say that she was disappointed in me.
Disappointed
in me!!! For once in my whole entire life I'm the one who is without sin!!!
She
said that today was Aimee's birthday and that she was waiting for her party.
I
smelled my mom's breath to see if I could detect gin, but no, she was serious.
Then
it came back to me. Before I found the Lord etc. and I was trying to attract
Michael to reject him because he wasn't attracted to me, I made up the surprise
party ruse so that I could track him down.
Goddam
it!!
I thought really quickly and told them that that the real surprise was that
it was tomorrow.
My
mom looked so relieved. She kissed me and said she knew that I wouldn't let
her down. She said that will all the troubles they've had recently (i.e. complete
financial ruin) this party was something they had been really looking forward
to.
Shit!
Shit shit shit. If I'd joined a church as soon as I got back then I could've
dumped it on them and had them throw together some kind of charity supper.
How
do you throw a party for someone you don't know who doesn't have any friends
when your own friends aren't even speaking to you.
Sept
10
I
think the party went well. I'm not really sure.
I decided to get a deli platter from the place around the corner. That was
good because then I was able to invite the the person who sliced it, the person
who wrapped it and the cashier.
I
left a message for that lousy Michael. I was hoping never to have to see him
again but it was his mother and he had some responsibility. I told
him to invite everyone he knew--which turns out to be two guys who looked
like they were on day passes.
The
guys from the deli brought some home made wine, the
mailman brought some pecan squares and the super brought some ravioli.
Mr.
Van Heusan also came which was a bit of a surprise. I thought maybe he'd be
too busy staring and sighing on the weekend but he came--here's the weird
thing--my mother and him really hit it off!
They
were flirting with each other, which was kind of creepy and once after the
chicken dance they clasped hands. Yuck.
Aimee
was in seventh heaven. She swept around the room beaming. She was wearing
a caftan and kind of looked like a ship in full sail.
I
didn't even talk to Michael. He just sat in the corner with his scummy friends.
The
rest of the evening was a bit of a blur.The wine was a little stronger than
I'm used to, but since I think it's written about extensively in the Bible
I figured it was o.k.
I
tried to convert a few people to the Word but stopped when I threw up in the
sink and I loudly told everyone in the room that I had never had lice in my
entire life and then looked pointedly at Michael.
Aimee
and mom can't get through the evening without a crying jag of course and that
set of the Polish guys who were homesick
But
other than that I think it went ok.
Sept
11
I
have had probably the biggest brainstorm of my life!!!!
This
new Christian outlook I have is really working for me.
I
realized that I had to get some idea of my mother's financial picture and
got together all the information.
It
was so depressing realizing that her mortgage was two months in arrears and
that she had $12,000 of unsold Precious Moments inventory.
While
I was adding up the figures my mother was hovering kind of anxiously in the
background. She was chattering as if she wanted to distract me from the fact
that she was a complete lunatic. I was thinking about how it just figures
that Mr.Van Heusan would be attracted to her when it hit me.
We
have a terrific office, phones, computer. He's got nothing to do which is
driving him mental. I've got nothing to do which isn't bothering me as much
but......
We
can sell off the inventory. Thank You Lord!! (Even though you didn't come
up with the idea- I did).
I
think our problems will be solved. I sell off the inventory, she moves back
home and I can go back to my old life--wait, not my old life when I was a
sinner but my new old life.
Hallelujah!!!!
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© 2000 www.happywomanmagazine.com
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