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Jenna's
Diary appears every Friday
May
17th
What
a lousy weekend. I was looking forward to Jeff and I really
enjoying the apartment for the first time but no, he had to
have his kid over.
Now,
I really really love that kid, or at the very least I make
it look like I do, but when do we get some time to ourselves?
We just moved in for heaven's sake! Even if we hadn't just
moved, I think every other weekend is excessive. When I was
young I barely ever saw my father (or the man who I thought
was my father - sheesh I'm still scarred.) Well I saw
him because he came home every night at 5 o'clock ate dinner
watched the new,s read the newspaper and went to bed but I
don't remember ever having quality time. Quality time wasn't
"in" back then and look how good I turned out!
I
tried to get Jeff to switch the date but he said it would
screw up Dylan's schedule. What about my schedule? I'm the
one with long term memory!
All
of a sudden when it comes to his kid, Jeff's interest in decorating
has shot sky high. I was just going to give the guest room
a coat of the leftover living room paint but Jeff pulled away
in horror shrieking "it's pink!"
Great,
just great. First of all, it is just insane that a man in
this day and age should be scared of his male child living
in a pink room and secondly, I knew it was pink! Why wouldn't
anyone agree with me before. Woodland mushroom is PINK.
May
18th
We
spent the day at the park which wasn't as boring as I thought
it would be. The parks here are nicer than the ones in my
old neighbourhood. Much better class of people and towing
a kid around is a great way to get to know your neighbours
and peers.
I
even took Dylan with me when I went back to Albertos. After
the fiasco at the cheese counter I'd put off going back because
I figured the White Russian lady would try to humiliate me
again because of her anger over lost glory, but no.
Seeing Dylan she turned all goopy eyed and all the women in
line were very friendly. They cooed and twittered and said
that he looked so much like me. I personally don't see it.
I don't have a pudgy face, squinty eyes and a slack jaw but
since he's not my kid I didn't take offense.
I'm so glad I didn't leave him tied up outside like I originally
intended.
The
evening was not fun. The kid insisted on touching everything.
I said to Jeff that maybe it would be an idea to confine him
to the guest bedroom (of course Jeff immediately said "Dylan's
room" - potato potahto.) But Jeff would have none of
it. I put four covers on my beautiful white sofa. I figured
that no matter how sticky his fingers were there was no way
he'd penetrate the first two layers. What does the kid do?
PEE. You leave to get a diaper, stop for a millisecond to
get some wine, make a phone call and boom! The kid leaks over
everything.
My
mother called to ask if she could drop over. God save us from
families! I feel like a corpse being picked over by vultures!
Dylan one weekend my mother scratching at the door to be let
in. My God!
I
told her she could drop by Tuesday evening. Jeff's going to
be away AGAIN so I figure I can show off the place a bit and
then very gently break the news that Jeff lives with me. I'll
probably have to break the news in the middle of the apartment
tour because the crib is definitely going to give things away.
I
am just dying for the day that Jeff and I can relax and enjoy
our new home together. A time where we can sit, dream and
plan our future together. He works way too hard. You just
can't make work your life. I know that from when I was an
author and a website designer.
After
this next trip I'm going to have a talk with him about priorities.
I won't give him an ultimatum - that's simply not me - but
I will tell him that it's either me or his career.
May
21st
Irene
and I were supposed to shop for bed linens today but she phoned
to tell me that her husband is thinking of moving out. She
is completely devastated. She really seemed surprised even
though all the signs were there.
Of course I felt bad for her, but picking out new sheets for
your new home is big event and I should have been allowed
to relish it. Good ol' Jenna though. I gave up my shopping
trip, met her for coffee listened to her wail for about five
minutes before I brought out the catalogue and had her circle
the ones she thought would look best.
Maybe
I should become a counselor. Everyone already dumps all their
problems on me. Perhaps I should get paid for it.
May
22nd
If
it is possible to divorce your mother then I'm going for it.
I will never speak her name again.
I
went all out preparing for her visit. The place was shining,
I'd bought some wine and food from Albertos and the place
looked just perfect.
I
didn't tell the concierge that I was expecting visitors and
he seemed really put out when he telephoned. With my mother
standing beside him in the lobby he actually had the nerve
to chastise me! Not a great start.
My
mother was suitably impressed ( of course she loved the pink
walls aaarrggggh) but of course she just couldn't drop her
middle class leanings. Everything was about money. "How
much did this couch cost Jenna?" "This is much bigger
than you need Jenna are you sure you can afford it?"
On and on.
I
offered her some pate and she refused it, telling me it was
expensive and not to waste it on her. Mr. Van Heusan weighed
in with "Merle, have a tiny bit, it's delicious - remember
honey, it's just chopped liver!" She was about to try
it when I corrected him and told him it was very expensive
chopped liver and she picked up a cracker instead.
I
went into the kitchen and knocked back half a bottle of wine
to get the courage to tell her that I was living with Jeff.
I
returned to the living room, cleared my throat and said "Mom,
I've got something to tell you."
Her
hand flew immediately to her heart and she leaned on Mr. Van
Heusan for support. "Jenna are you dealing in drugs?"
?????
I told her that no, I wasn't dealing in drugs then she automatically
went the pregnancy route.
Even
as I was assuring her that no, I was not pregnant the thought
crossed my mind that me living with Jeff would seem a very
minor offense compared to the other two.
Boy was I wrong.
Unbelievable.
I don't know if it's her time of life or if it's because she
is a raving lunatic but she really blew things out of proportion.
She said. " Jenna I don't like to interfere but do you
really think this is a good idea? "
I
flipped and told her
that I was a mature woman and quite capable of making my own
choices. I told her that it was time for her to accept that
I'd grown up that I wasn't a child anymore. Then I kicked
the plate of crackers onto the floor and ground them into
the rug before locking myself in my bedroom.
She
left in tears and I cried well into the night.
I have now sacrificed the sacred mother and child bond for
Jeff. I just wish he was here so I could tell him. Great love
involves great pain, that I know but still...
I
am now motherless. An orphan except for the fact that I have
a father.
I
am a tragic figure, but I just know love will conquer all.
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