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Starting
May 30th, Jenna's Diary will appear every two weeks and will
return to it's weekly format in September.
May
24th
I'm
always amazed at my inner strength. Not a lot of people would
be able to overcome being orphaned by painting their bathroom,
but I did. That really says something about me.
I
took the phone off the hook so I wouldn't have to hear a million
messages from my mother begging me to call. I am just not
ready to forgive her. I realized though that Jeff won't be
able to get through so I guess I'll just have to prepare myself.
6:00
No calls. No messages. I'm so relieved. I just am not ready
to forgive my mother.
7:00
This is so good. I feel free for the first time in my
life. No apron strings anchoring me.
8:00
Free as a bird.
9:00
Still free.
May
25th
This
is so weird. Usually after my mother starts a fight she's
on the phone pleading with me to come to my senses but this
time nothing. I'm a little worried. You keep hearing stories
about elderly people on their own who freeze to to death in
snowbanks on their way to catfood. Even if my mother isn't
elderly, is not on her own, doesn't have a cat and it's May,
it still makes you think.
I
think I'll phone and if she answers I'll hang up.
4:00
Well she's alive. I hung up a soon as she answered. The
only problem is she has call display and will probably be
on the horn any minute whining, pleading, etc. Argh.
6:00
When she didn't call back I called her to tell her that I'd
called before but I hadn't meant to I was calling someone
else. She sighed and said "Jenna, if you've called to
apologize, apology accepted. I think we really need a good
talk."
What
is it with her? I told her in no uncertain terms if there
was an apology to be made then I most certainly was not the
one to be making it. She said that if that was the case there
was nothing to talk about and she hung up.
My
mother hung up on me. Hung up on her only daughter, fruit
of her loins! I can't believe this. I feel so betrayed. I
will never, ever, ever, ever talk to that woman again. I know
I've said that before but this time I really mean it.
May
26th
Irene called this morning and boy, was she upset. Her husband
moved out this morning and she was crying as though her heart
would break.
I
felt it was only fair to tell her before she totally broke
down, that I too was suffering heartbreak and wouldn't be
able to offer her any sympathy. She asked what happened and
I took a deep breath and told her about it.
You
could have knocked me over with a feather when she snorted
and said "Jenna for God's sake you fight with your mother
every week - how on earth can you compare the two? Why do
you have to make everything about you?"
Well!
I could not believe it. My blood was boiling and I felt it
was time that Irene got a taste of her own medicine and said
"I don't know what you're so upset about, everyone but
you could see that your marriage was a shambles. I can't even
understand why you married him - do you know he made a pass
at me on your wedding day?!"
That
old saying "truth hurts" is completely true. Irene
was stunned into silence before she hung up. I felt bad in
a way, but it wasn't fair of her to make up a bunch of bad
things about me in order to make herself feel better.
I
was so hepped up I phoned Jenny, forgetting that she was mad
at me. She was a little frosty at first but when she heard
what happened to Irene she thawed a little.
"Well,
I could see that coming." I agreed then we both talked
about how naive Irene was. We talked about how we both really
love Irene but she makes such stupid choices and does such
stupid things that she's lucky we've hung around as long as
we have. I told Jenny what she said about me and she went
quiet. I repeated it and she changed the subject.
I
was going to pursue it, but with my mother out of my life,
Irene gone and Jeff away so much I'm running out of people
so I didn't say anything. I'll wait until I've built up more
of a social network.
May
27th
Jeff
comes home tonight! Whooo hoooo! I've felt so lonely lately.
What with my mother and Irene going mental and all. It's nice
to be friends with Jenny again but she's got a baby and it's
easier to schedule a moon landing than it is to get her over
here.
I've
missed my Snookie. We've barely spent any time alone here
together at all. Either he has to go away on business or he's
working late or that kid of his has to come over - if it's
not one thing it's another.
I
hope he likes the colour I painted the bathroom. It's a little
dark and maybe I shouldn't have painted the cabinets purple
too, but with a really bright light and maybe some fluorescent
tape I'm sure we'll be able to find the handles.
I'll
pick up something for dinner at Le Maison. I still don't feel
confident enough to eat in the restaurant but the people don't
give you the stink-eye as much when you get it to take out.
We'll have some wine and just talk. I'm dying to tell him
about what my mother did, tell him what Irene said. I just
want his arms around me telling me everything is going to
be all right.
Oh,
gosh I miss him.
7:00
No word from Jeff, he probably got delayed at the airport.
I hope he comes soon because the restaurant closes at 10:00.
8:00
I think I might have a glass of wine just to relax a bit,
it's been a tough week.
10:30
I just finished a bottle of wine and wrote a country and
western song!
Bad
da dum dum...
I've
got nowhere to go but up
So I think I'll slide back down
My baby's replacing me with X Box
I like the baddest part of town
I won't advocate clean livin'
It does nothin for the soul
Go out and have a ball
And forget it all and
Ruin me some more
That
is so good.
Man,
songs are easier to write than books especially country ones.
Country songs, not country books although they sound pretty
easy to write. I wish I played an instrument but tapping it
out with a pencil is OK too. I could just hear Shania Twain
singing that. Wow. Just when I think I've recognized all my
talents God gives me more. Wow.
I
think now I'll work on some hip-hop .
12:45
Oh my God. Somewhere along the line I fell asleep it took
me ages to figure out what was making that ringing sound and
then it was a battle to find the phone.
It
was Jeff.
Jeff
calling from the police station.
He's
been arrested.
Oh.
My. God.
New to Jenna's Diary?
You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
Well that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
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