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Jenna's
diary appears bi-weekly.
July
7th
The
concierge called up this morning as Jenny and I were having
breakfast. He said there was a package waiting for me.
This
is what we were waiting for. We knew something big was going to
happen but we just didn't know when. Jenny suggested we call the
bomb squad but I thought we should wait until we at least see
the package that way they'll know what kind of equipment to
bring. I suggested we phone the police and Jenny said she didn't
think you could report an incident that hasn't happened yet. (Isn't
it outrageous? A person has to be terrorized beyond rehabilitation
or blown to smithereeens by a letter bomb before our city's finest
step in?)
We
finally got up the courage to go down to collect the package.
I didn't have any kind of protective headgear, but I wore
gloves and Jenny wore my lobster claw oven mitts. In a flash
of inspiration Jenny also pulled the bar from the towel rack.
The
concierge was surly as usual and made us wait while he sorted
through some packages. The tension was unbelievable.
Although
I'm as Christian as any other person who doesn't go to church
or recognize any form of organized religion I have to admit
that I hoped the package would explode in his face.
Finally
after ten minutes he tossed the package on the counter. Jenny
put the towel bar in the lobster claw and drew the package
close enough to read the address of the sender.
First
National Bank. They were cheques I'd ordered when I moved
to the new apartment.
It
was a very close call.
July
9th
Jenny
had to go home last night. She said that she wanted to get
her place tidied up before her ex brought back her kid, but
honestly I think she was disappointed that an attempt wasn't
made on my life while she was here. She said something along
the lines of "if nothing's going to happen there's no
point hanging around. "
I
told her that if he is watching me, which of course he is,
he probably would know that she was staying and would wait
until she leaves.
She
said she had some laundry to do and some bills to pay.
It's
really nice when the chips are down to see where your friend's
priorities lie.
TO
WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
You
will find my poems and short stories 1/3 of the way through
this diary. I've put in some bookmarks to help you. Please
feel free to publish them as they are really quite brilliant.
I would like proceeds of my work and all my possessions to
go to a a charity I will name. I'm very frightened of corruption
so I will have to find one that lives up to my expectations.
In
no event is the money to go to my friend Jenny even if she
asks for the return of some money I borrowed three years ago
which I think she has forgotten about it but am not sure.
July
14th
Still
nothing. I think that's very suspicious.
July
15th
My
mother bawled me out at work today for falling asleep at my
desk. I felt rather noble letting her natter on. I thought
about how bad she is going to feel when they discover me dead.
She'll
probably faint or maybe have a stroke. Mr. Van Heusan will
probably have to prop her up at the funeral service - and
for sure at the grave site she'll attempt to jump in the hole
She'll
have to go on tranquilizers and then she'll more than likely
get hooked. Her friends will say things like "The life
went out of her when Jenna died. It's like part of her is
missing." Her hair will go completely white and she'll
set up a shrine in the corner of the living room.
She'll
toss and turn every night thinking of all the mean things
she said and all the stupid arguments she started. She'll
blame herself and wish she could do it all over again. She'll
go on the Crossing Over with John Edwards and beg me
to make contact with me. She'll beg me for forgiveness and
talk about all her regrets. The whole audience will be in
tears as she tells him how awful she was to me while I was
alive.
"I
forgive you."
"What?
Jenna, have you listened to one word I've said? It's bad enough
that you come in late and promptly fall asleep but you've
spilled a whole can of Pepsi on the keyboard..."
I
take it back.
July
16th
Oh.
My. God.
Jeff
called and left a message.
He
said (I wrote it down word for word once my hands stopped
shaking) "Jenna, I'm really sorry about what's happened
ummmmm.... I can understand why you would be upset. Ummmmmm...I
just hope in time that you will forgive me and we could be...
ahhhhhh...friends. Ummmm (cough) Oh, I was wondering - could
I have my Waterpik back? I was just going to buy another one
but I figured if you weren't using it then there was no point
wasting money. Ummmmm...you could leave it with the concierge
... anyway let me know."
I'm
waiting for Jenny to call back so we can fully examine this.
7:30
I
swear, I could be lying in the street with my head cut off,
six gunshot wounds in my chest, a stick of dynamite burning
in my pocket and my friends and family would tell me I was
making a big deal out of nothing. Unbelievable!
When
I told Jenny about the call I expected her to dash right over.
I thought we would spend the night huddled under the comforter
waiting for him to make a move, but instead she said "Oh,
you must be so relieved!" (?????) Relieved? I told her
that no, I was not relieved in fact I was more concerned than
I was before.
"It's
ingenious don't you see? He lulls me into thinking that all
he wants is his Waterpik, I'll let him in the door and then..."
"But
he said you could leave it with the concierge, he didn't say
anything about coming up to get it."
I
tried another tack because Jenny wasn't getting it - "What
kind of man betrays a woman and then calls to get his Waterpik
back?
"A
guy with good teeth?"
Arrrgggh.
To add insult to injury Jenny said "Jenna I think you're
just going to have to accept that Jeff isn't going to stalk
you. I think you might have to come to terms with the fact
that it's over and that he's moved on."
"But
last week you came and stayed with me because you were frightened
for my life."
"I
know, I'm as bad as you sometimes. I had a free weekend and
I guess I got caught up in the drama of it."
Drama!
Drama? DRAMA!!??? Oh Lord I'm too upset to write.
12:00
What
if...
What
if he isn't going to stalk me? What if I didn't mean that
much to him? What if he didn't love me enough to want to kill
me?
That's
insane. The man is unstable! He stalked his wife and he didn't
love her half as much as he loved me. He told me that a million
times and Jeff never lied to me. Well except about being married,
and then about being divorced, and then about his kid and
then...
Oh.
Lord.
What
kind of idiot am I?
New to Jenna's Diary?
You are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's no point starting now."
Well that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
Click here for a past diary excerpts. |
