Dear
Ms....um, Jenna:
Our editorial
staff has looked over your manuscript and we have reluctantly decided
that it does not suit our needs at the present time.
Axminster
Publications is a small publishing house devoted to books on power
tools and their many uses. We do not publish romantic fiction, nor
have we any plans to do so in the immediate future, and cannot understand
how you thought we did otherwise.
Unless
you can write a book on drill bits, or have your heroine develop
a working relationship with an electric socket wrench, we must regretfully
decline. We would return your manuscript, but unfortunately it was
destroyed when a freak plumbing accident caused the toilets in the
men's room to explode. This was a regrettable occurrence and we
hope you will understand.
May I
add a bit of unsolicited advice? In the first place, return postage
and an address are a "given" if you wish your manuscript to be sent
back to you. Also, unwashed laundry--especially lingerie (I assume
that's what it was)--does not automatically ensure acceptance of
fictional works.
Believe
me, I wish only the best for you and hope that you will someday
achieve your dream of publication. In the meantime--as they say--don't
quit your day job.
Respectfully
yours,
Otto
Fontaine
Editor-in-Chief,
Axminster Publications
New
to Jenna's Diary?
You
are probably thinking"Say, I'll never catch up, so there's
no point starting now."
Well
that's not true, Jenna can't follow a thought for more than a second
so you won't be missing a thing. (And quite frankly that attitude
is the reason you are not a neurosurgeon.)
Click
here for a past diary excerpts.
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