Q: Where do you currently reside?

A:  A very small town in New Jersey.

Q: Where were you born?

A: The very large city of New York.

Q: Favourite Book(s)

A: As a kid, it was Leo The Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus.  I was also partial to Shel Silverstein. Now? I still marvel at how Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby can be both so ugly and so beautiful. And in no particular order/year of my life: Kurt Vonnegut, Edward Eager’s Half Magic series, Shirley Jackson, Judy Blume, David Sedaris, Woody Allen and Tom Robbins. Also, in my high school writing class my teacher compared an essay I wrote to “the work of Erma Bombeck”. Having never heard of her, I thought she was possibly a Communist dictator (Spoiler Alert: She wasn’t. Instead, I was in for a treat. Erma Bombeck was a wonderful, witty writer and this comparison was an amazing compliment for a pimply teen to receive.)  

Q: Favourite Films(s)

A: “My Man Godfrey” and “Ed Wood”.  I have also been known to watch “Steel Magnolias” repeatedly, then follow my husband around the house announcing in my terrible faux Southern accent, “Mah Colahs ahhh blush and bashful! Yo colahs ahhh pank and pank!”  I believe this is what keeps our marriage alive.

Q: Favourite Food(s)

A: Pizza. Pasta.  I am getting better with that whole moderation angle as I get older, but I am never going to be Dr. Oz.

Q: Favourite Hobbies/Past times

A: Crossword puzzles. Watching old movies with my friends. We are big classic movie fans (Turner Classic Movies rules! Best channel ever!) Also, as I am getting older bars and clubs have been replaced with getting together to hang out and watch “Saturday Night Live”. “Mad Men”! I loooooove “Mad Men”.  We are having a “Mad Men” party this summer! I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEW SEASON! Also, I scrapbook. However, I have found that if I wait too long to create said scrapbook pages, I end up with too many photos of people I don’t talk to anymore (like my ex-BFF). Thus, my hobby becomes cutting people’s heads out of pictures, like, I would imagine, some weirdo serial killer. 

Q:What is your motto?

A: “Why not?” Because, I mean, really...why not?

Q: Which living person do you most admire?

A:There are several. My husband, Rob who has taught me not to take crap from anyone. My mom, Carmen, who has taught me to be kind to everyone. Also, my dad Louis, my sister, Gina and my brothers Joe and Louie. What can I say? This crazy chick comes from good eggs!

Q: What is your idea of the perfect day?

A: I am a really big fan of brunch and “I Love Lucy”, so I dunno...”I Love Lucy” themed Brunch? We were in London on our honeymoon and I loved the traditional English breakfasts. I would love to spend one more leisurely day in London and get back all the time we wasted getting lost, reading maps and photographing my husband crossing “Abbey Road” seventeen times.

Q: Your greatest fear?

A: If I reveal this you will have an advantage. It may involve a “Twilight Zone” episode, or twelve (I love that show!) It probably involves Dr. Oz.  That’s all you’re gonna get!

Q: What is your greatest extravagance?

A: I enjoy wine and coffee, but don’t know enough about either, yet. I am also a very private person. Sometimes I would rather dance around to Cyndi Lauper in my pajamas then go out. IS THAT WRONG?

Q: Favourite cities to visit

A: Philadelphia. W.C. Fields was spot on. I also am in love with London and I really want to return and see more of England!  Paris was beautiful, particularly the Eiffel Tower on a sunny day in December. Because of this moment, I have a picture postcard of Paris in my brain that I will keep always.

Q:Favourite vacation spot?

A: Aside from the places I’ve mentioned? We had so much fun in Waterbury, Vermont. I recommend it! We also are partial to BBQs in our own backyard.

Q: Do you have any pets?

A:Well, as a kid, I had a goldfish that died. My father SAID he was burying him under the shed, but then I heard the toilet flush. I still have my suspicions. When Dad said he “passed on into that big bowl”, he neglected to mention the “in the sky” part.

Q: What song would best describe your present state of mind?

A: “Funny Little Frog” by Belle & Sebastian, but this could be because it is what I am currently listening to. And “Mushaboom” by Feist pretty much sums up my early to mid twenties.

Q: What is your favorite word?

A: Redemption. Always has been. Also I really like “Solace” but maybe because it sounds funny to say. Also did you ever see that “Salsa/Seltzer” episode of “Seinfeld”? There are real world problems we need to deal with, people! And in a Jerry Seinfeld voice!

Q :What is your least favorite word?

A: Loser. Also what’s up with people who call dinner “chow”?  It makes me feel like I’m being invited to dine in a dog food commercial.

Q: What turns you on?

A: Sincerity. People who try to rise above the pettiness. The moments I see people being so genuine and wonderful to one another, I forget that we are all mere animals playing dress up.

Q: What turns you off?

A: Cruelty. Haven’t we had enough of that? Consult your history books, please. Thank you in advance.

Q: What sound or noise do you love?

A: The sound of a party that is just beginning. I love the excited conversation, what do they call that? Chatter.

Q: What sound or noise do you hate?

A: That first clap of thunder is still like, whoa, God is ANGRY.

Q: What is your favorite curse word?

A: I dunno if it’s so much a curse word as exasperation phrase stated in initials, but when I am done with a situation, I always say, “Well, if you don’t like it, then you are just S.O.L. OKAY? S.O.L.!”

Q: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

A: I am seriously considering becoming a psychiatrist. Now I just need a cardboard box to make a stand out of, and a sign that reads, “The Doctor  Is In” (I love “Peanuts”) The great thing about this is that during the summer months, my pyschiatry practice can double as a lemonade kiosk. Genius!

Q: What profession would you not like to do?

A: Anything involving math or bugs.

Q: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

A.     Certainly, definitely, not that I am “S.O.L.”.