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EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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LIBBY INTERVIEWS... JESUS

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Libby: But what I'm getting at is the big show offy- stuff like walking on water. That's not subtle. I guess I shouldn't ask, but I'm a journalist and I have to: how did you do that? That must have been hard.

Jeremy: Not really, it was mostly special effects.

Libby: Uh huh!! I knew that!!! Bobby Goldsboro owes me a lunch. Now, I have so many questions and so little time. Moses. You're quite similar in that he was a bit of a show off too. I remember seeing the film where Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea.You both like big production numbers, you with your loaves and fishes and him with his sea and desert schtick. I have to ask you--is there any jealousy?

Jeremy: Well, first off there's a huge gap of time seperating us and secondly, it's not in your control. You audition for the role and you either get it or you don't, you can't worry about it.

Libby: That's how it works! Oh, my God (I beg your pardon) but I'm sniffing a Pulitzer. Let's see, now that you're here are you going to stop world hunger, disease, wars and find a miracle diet pill?

Jeremy: Well I'm active in a lot of charitable causes but I don't know if I can...I will certainly take an active part.

Libby: That's it? Wow, it just shows you, you can't believe hype. Now my final question, something that has been troubling me for many, many years--why do Evangelists dress so bad?

Jeremy: I have no idea.

Libby: Oh. one of the eternal mysteries huh?

With that our interview concluded. I kissed his ring and left. The holiness of the whole thing overwhelmed me. I left the hotel and saw a bum. Instead of turning my head I went over to him reached into my purse and gave him my Montclair pen and half a tube of Estee Lauder lipstick.

This was a life-changing interview.

June 2nd

Libby's note: OK., so you've never made a mistake? The bastard let me kiss his ring for chrissakes!

I think it is the responsibility of the interviewee to inform the interviewer that they are not in fact the Messiah, that they are in fact just an actor playing the Messiah.

This has been a really crappy week. Who in the name of God would name a miniseries Jesus? I was in Florida, who watches a miniseries in Florida? And why don't they put the title under the graphic where I can see it? You think this has never happened to Barbara, or Jane, or even Katie?

I've got to go get my pen back.


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Please Note: This is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet. The interviews are not real and the interviewers are not real.

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